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What would you do if your SO said things like this to you?

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    #16
    Originally posted by gh0stfl0wers View Post
    My boyfriend used to be big when he was a kid, but lost a ton of weight in puberty. He still has a little belly, though. It's not really fat, it's more like excess skin from when he was big. Sometimes I tease him about it, but always in a playful way. Since we both know I don't mean it, I guess it's fine. He also teases me about my appearance sometimes, but again, since we both know that we don't mean it, we don't mind. If he ever said it bothered him, I would stop right away, and I know he'd do the same thing.

    But I have this "friend". Really skinny. Her boyfriend is a bit chubby, but not really overweight. She broke up with him once and he lost a lot of weight to get her back, and she still tells him he's fat and stuff. We used to be really close, but in the past few year's she's become a real... b*tch. Although I have gained a few pounds in the past years, I'm satisfied with my body. I know I have nothing to complain about. As my "best friend", of course she doesn't say she thinks I'm fat, but then she starts talking about people who have the same body as me, or are even thinner, saying in her barbie voice "OMG did you see her fat ass?" -- "OMG, that giant chick just hit on my boyfriend, look at her thighs! Gross!", and I'm standing right next to her. THAT'S hurtful.
    Yeah Denise used to be almost 300 pounds and she lost the weight pretty rapidly and has the access skin a little bit too but i likes it more for me to love she often worries about going back to the same weight but as i tell her it wouldnt matter to me if she did, no matter what she weighs i will always love her!

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      #17
      If SO said that to me...wow. Buh-bye!

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        #18
        Ohh I love that movie!! He is such a jerk though!! Have you watched the 2nd one yet??

        Anyway, I would not put up with that crap. But there was a time, in high school, when my self esteem was really low and I might have put up with it then.

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          #19
          Originally posted by garnet View Post
          I have a friend. Her boyfriend said he would take her to hawaii once she lost weight, and propose. Well, she never really did, and a bunch of years later finally he decided he wanted kids so he could be a stay at home dad while she worked. So they got married, and are about to get pregnant with #3. It makes me sick that she put up with his mean weight nagging for soooooooo many years. She's a beautiful girl and deserves so much better.
          Sadly this is how many abusive relationships are.

          It's easy to say that I would leave my SO if she treated me this way, but when you're in love it's not really that simple.

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            #20
            Originally posted by mattheww65 View Post
            Amen to that sister! I love my SO exactly how she is. She's got a little podgy bit around her belly and I love it! Its so cute when I snuggle and hug her

            I think she feels a bit apprehensive (right word?) sometimes when I tell her about all the exercise I do and when she see's me naked because I'm a bit of an fitness-freak so have (or lack) all the bits that come with that... But I just tell her I love every part of her. I'd never ask her to loose weight on my behalf (unless it was affecting her health)... I love her for how amazing she is on the inside as well as how beautiful she is on the outside!

            I'll always proud to walk down the street holding her hand and to call her my girlfriend
            hehehe that's sweet! Good! You'd better stay that way!

            Originally posted by Elissa View Post
            If SO said that to me...wow. Buh-bye!
            Aaaamen!

            Originally posted by mllebamako View Post
            Ohh I love that movie!! He is such a jerk though!! Have you watched the 2nd one yet??

            Anyway, I would not put up with that crap. But there was a time, in high school, when my self esteem was really low and I might have put up with it then.
            Right? I'm currently in the process of trying to change my life habits cause I sit at a desk for way too many hours a week and I need to start exercising again. When I told my SO about it he asked one question. He said "Do you want me to help?" and that was it. Awesome answer by the way men for all of you reading.

            The other day when I was talking about how I'm going to be lonely all weekend and I was just going to buy a few bottles of wine and lock myself in my bedroom with a pizza he was like baby I think you should be original and eat something other than pizza. Totally joking I asked him if he was telling me I shouldn't be eating so much pizza?! He was just like "well... I don't want to say that, you just need to start working out babe. But I love you anyway". He knows that I want to lose wait for me and is being supportive and it's awesome.

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              #21
              My ex husband used to make comments if I put on pounds, saying that I looked "crapped out" and I "let myself go"... I had 2 children in 2 year's time, so it took a toll on my body. Plus, I am an emotional eater and since he was a jerk, I was eating to make myself feel better, which didn't help matters. Obviously, he is an ex husband for a reason! I have lost 40 lbs since being with my boyfriend and when we first started our relationship I was on the chubby side. I was paranoid about my appearance and he always said "You're beautiful, you're hot, you have nothing to be ashamed of." He has really built up my self esteem, not that I need others to build up my self esteem, but it helped. So, in other words, I wouldn't put up with that anymore because I know what it can do to your self image. I know there are men out there that accept me for who I am, and there's no need to waste my time with those who do not.

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                #22
                I dealt with emotional and physical abuse in a relationship for over two years before meeting my current SO. I was belittled in every way. Nothing I did was good enough for him. I wasn't good enough. Not even my freckles were the right color. But I've been working on developing my self-esteem. So I have to say that as much as I love my boyfriend, I would break up with him if he were to become verbally abusive. I don't deserve it. Thankfully my guy has been nothing but very supportive and loving though. He's the one, along with my former counselor, who helped me see there might be something about me worth keeping.

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                  #23
                  Originally posted by Laura024 View Post
                  I dealt with emotional and physical abuse in a relationship for over two years before meeting my current SO. I was belittled in every way. Nothing I did was good enough for him. I wasn't good enough. Not even my freckles were the right color. But I've been working on developing my self-esteem. So I have to say that as much as I love my boyfriend, I would break up with him if he were to become verbally abusive. I don't deserve it. Thankfully my guy has been nothing but very supportive and loving though. He's the one, along with my former counselor, who helped me see there might be something about me worth keeping.
                  Freckles are the best. I totally have freckle envy! sorry you had to put up with that for so long, but glad you'll never have to deal with it ever again!

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                    #24
                    I would walk away..i am who i am, and if he doesn't like it, he isn't worth my time.

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                      #25
                      Originally posted by LadyMarchHare View Post
                      Considering I'm overweight, if my SO ever DARED tell me something like "lose x amount of pounds and I'll love you" I'd tell him to grow x amount of brain cells and I'd love him back.
                      YES. LOVE THIS. ROFL!
                      My heart belongs to a pilot!
                      ~*~
                      ~*~
                      [/center]

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                        #26
                        Okay one, good movie so is the sequel and the third one tee hee . But yes if my SO ever spoke to me like that we'd be done, like I could find a man who loves my curves. But he loves my body so i'm not worried.

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                          #27
                          Originally posted by mllebamako View Post
                          Ohh I love that movie!! He is such a jerk though!! Have you watched the 2nd one yet??

                          Anyway, I would not put up with that crap. But there was a time, in high school, when my self esteem was really low and I might have put up with it then.
                          no i havent seen the 2nd one yet but i want to and you know someone is a good actor when you have remind yourself "he's only acting, hes only acting....hes not like that in real life" lol that part where she smashes the bottle over his head i would have done more then that to him! :/ lol

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                            #28
                            I would drop kick their ass to the curb instantly! If you can't love me for me then you don't deserve me. This is what I love about my bf, he loves me no matter what.

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                              #29
                              At this point my boy and I know each other well enough that he would never even suggest such a thing to me. He knows I'm extremely self coscious and insecure about my weight and even just a "playful" type of teasing or "help" would not go over well with me. A few months back I did ask for his help to support my in losing some pounds but he refused and said I was fine the way I am and that I don't need to change. Alhough I am still dieting now if he suddenly out of the blue decided to support me now unlike he did a few months ago I would be quite panicked and wonder why he changed his mind.

                              However. This is my answer now, after being with my SO for over a year who understand how my mind works when it comes to weight. If say I was dating someone else and from the beginning he suggested tips on how to make myself thinner, whil my gut reaction is to say this probably isn't someone I would stay long term with, I do know I'd probably be with him for awhile. I have very little support elsewhere in my dieting goals and if he pushed me on from the start I could use it as motivation. I know it's twisted to say I would like it but if my SO did it now that'd be a huge blow, but that's because all the way till now he's told me he's loved me no matter how I look and it would seriously crush me if he did a complete 180 on that. Not sure if that made sense but there you go.

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                                #30
                                Originally posted by __ms.jaye View Post
                                Okay one, good movie so is the sequel and the third one tee hee . But yes if my SO ever spoke to me like that we'd be done, like I could find a man who loves my curves. But he loves my body so i'm not worried.
                                Wait....there is a third one? But I thought there was just a sequel!?

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