How to tell, and to whom?

[lucybelle]

My SO is coming to visit in a few days w00t w00t! The situation is... I don't much talk about my relationships with my family. at all. So only my sister knows the full extent at to which me and my SO are involved. My mom I'm sure has figured some of it out. Her boyfriend must know everything she does. My brother knows my "friend" is coming to visit. And I just mentioned to my dad yesterday that my friend from school is coming. (I know right...)

My SO's entire family knows he's completely in love with me. And my family is fairly in the dark. My SO is a very "show your love" kind of guy. ugghh... do you guys see where I'm going with this?

Most of my family doesn't know he's my SO, just that he's a friend. I don't feel comfortable sitting down and telling them "yeah he's my boyfriend", but I also don't want to tell my SO to "act like just a friend". Gosh I don't know why I'm being so silly about all of this, it's not like this is my first relationship...

So what should I do? My SO and I are going to be spending Thanksgiving with my family. Most of the rest of the visit we'll be on our own.

I'm really just hoping that my family is not as dense as they sometimes appear and figure everything out on their own...

[LadyMarchHare]

In this situation, I really think it's best you 'break the news' to your family as it wouldn't be fair to your SO if he couldn't hold your hand, kiss your cheek, etc in front of them since small things like that are part of the joy of visits. It's not a comfortable situation, I know, but if they already have an idea then it won't be too hard. Just have to be direct and if they ask why you waited so long be honest. Their reaction doesn't really matter as in the end you got it over with and you take a small step.

[paulawriteslove]

I think that you should break the news to your family. You shouldn't try hiding your feelings toward your SO. Your SO is coming all the way to see you and wants to show his feelings towards you. So, I think that you should tell your family Best of luck!

[lucybelle]

You're completely right. I don't know why I'm being such a big baby about it. It's not like anyone in my family is going to be anything but happy for me. I think I don't like "having emotions" or being "venerable"... weird, eh?

[garnet]

I'm sort of weird about this too, and it just wont go away. I do think you should tell them though, that you two are more than friends. Like everyone said, don't miss out on the joys of your time together over this. I understand it's easier said than done though.

[LadyMarchHare]

You're completely right. I don't know why I'm being such a big baby about it. It's not like anyone in my family is going to be anything but happy for me. I think I don't like "having emotions" or being "venerable"... weird, eh?

I understand. I didn't really want to tell my mom because I knew it would be a weird situation but at the same time I did because, y'know, he's my guy. I don't think it's weird to not want to feel certain ways or put yourself in positions where you're not in complete control of what the outcome may be.

[Micah]

I am very private with my relationship too, so I can relate. Chances are, your family may already suspect something, so when you tell them, they may not really be that surprised. If you know they will be happy for you, you really don't have anything to worry about! Plus, it's great to have a support system when you are missing your SO, so it could end up being beneficial for that reason as well.