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    Hi Everyone! And visa issues...

    I'm new to these forums. My good friend gave me the link to this forum after seeing me pretty depressed over the current sitution with my SO.

    Story time! -

    My boyfriend and I met in October 08. I was just coming out of a really bad LDR with an abusive boyfriend - we fought daily for 6 months. It was love at first talk.

    He lived in Spain (now Uruguay) and I live in Texas. He was living here up until 4-5 years ago when his visa program was abruptly cut because of 9/11 changes.

    Earlier this year we closed the distance with a month-long visit when I flew to Uruguay. For the first week it was really hard for me to adjust and I had trust issues (correction, HAVE trust issues) but we pulled through. On the plane ride home, I felt like I had been gutted. I cried going through customs, on the 10 hour flight home, during the 3 hour layover in Miami and when I got home. I felt so displaced, like I didn't belong anywhere anymore.

    That was late August. I immediately started school again, depressed and sick. A month later, a good friend of mine cut me off after 21 years of friendship and the next day my dog passed away.

    Consequently, I've been awfully depressed lately, which is how I came to these forums.

    My boyfriend has a visitor's visa application in, which was pre-approved (he has an interview in February) but I feel awfully pessimistic, and up until lately, I've felt alone regarding this. It's been curious if anyone else is experiencing or has experienced these visa issues we're going through.

    I can eventually handle the loss of my friend and my pup, but I've felt completely dismal in regards to my relationship. I'm reminded of our time together in everything I see - airports, buses, my luggage, my necklace from him, my favourite TV show that we watched together... And it all reminds me of that painful trip home.

    I have an entry level position at a job I've been dreaming of since I was 16 and I'm going to school full-time for my degree, so taking off large amounts of time really isn't an option for me right now. Even worse, this isn't my first LDR. I've had 3, mostly with US Military.

    Me and my SO have been together over two years now, and only until the past three months has the 5195 miles between us felt further than ever.

    Has anyone else experienced visa complications like this? There really is no way we can find except marriage (which I am DEFINITELY not ready for) and Investor's (doubting work visa is a possibility with the US economy bottomed out so badly).

    Thank you for reading. I apologize for it being lengthy and sad.
    Kristen & Ryan - Together since October 2008
    International LDR
    "Who, being loved, is poor?" - Oscar Wilde

    #2
    Hello you!
    I just read your story...it all seems quite difficult and im very sorry for what happend. But Im sure there will always be a way to brighten the situation!
    Im going through a tough LDR aswell (I dont want to say that just mine is tough, they all suck!) my boyfriend lives on the other side of ther world and we dont realy know when and how we will see each other again..(my parents dont support me at all)
    I didnt apply for a visa yet, because Im afraid if its not working out for me.
    I dont know how it is in the US but in Australia you can`t get in to live there when your Swiss if you dont have any job before.
    But there is a visa for unmarried couples which lasts for two years and after you can apply for the permanent residence..

    I know, you must think why does she explain me that? But I just want you to know your and your SO are not alone with your
    visa problems..
    Did you already look for a special office for visas?
    Like the embassy of uruguay in Amerika?
    I think there should be a option for unmarried couples to live together!

    Sorry if you dont understand me so well, im Swiss and my english is not so good anymore.
    I know it wasnt a real help but maybe something to think about!

    Comment


      #3
      I'm sorry things are so rough right now. A lot of people on this site are going through visa challenges. I went the marriage route (K1 fiance visa), but I was lucky, both because we were both ready to get married, and because we were allowed to (I hate that same sex couples don't have that option).

      Even more people on this site are having a tough time with the distance. You're definitely in the right place for support.

      A website that I frequent, as do many here, is VisaJourney. They have very helpful forums, and even country specific ones. They would likely be able to tell you about any visa program that you haven't considered (should there be any), and what your options are.

      Maybe there are some ways to help you feel closer with your SO? Are you two able to video chat? Have a day out of the week, or every two weeks set aside for a date? I know time difference and jobs can make that tough, but if you two can squeeze an hour or two together that can be helpful. Are you able to snail mail? When you're feeling the distance, maybe writing a letter would help. Or working on a package. Can you do a project together, like a picture a day? That can be fun and make you feel closer.

      Anyways, I hope you start feeling better soon. Distance sucks, it sucks a lot, but at least we've found people worth missing!

      Comment


        #4
        Agreed completely with what Garnet said. VisaJjourney is a good website, and her suggestions were the ones I was going to make. XD

        I'm sort of in the same position as you - my bf lives in Australia, I live in the US. What we decided to do was to take a few vacations to visit each other (my boyfriend is here for currently and leaves December 9th), and once he returns he's going to look for a job now that he's graduated and I'm going to sit in my entry level job and save up a pile of money so we can close the distance.

        Give each other lots of time together online, and start making some plans. Having a date set for your next visit, if nothing else, helps a lot.


        LFAD Book Challenge: 34/100 Complete

        Comment


          #5
          Well I agree with everyone else too. My SO lives in Latin America and we've decided to put aside work/school so that we can be together. We're doing a bit of compromise in that sort of regard. He has a tourist visa and is planning on trying to max it out by staying for 6 months, then he'll go back to his home country for a few months to renew the visa. He'll then try to come for another 6 months. (I have a contract to work here for another year and a half). After that, I'm going to move down there so he can finish school.

          We sort of just made the decision to put a few things on hold so that we can be together. It's a hard, risky thing to do. But we decided to try it out.

          @ Garnet-- thanks for that visa website! I hadn't seen it before!

          Comment


            #6
            You are not alone!! Alot of couples have these issues, myself included. My SO is also from South America so its hard for her to get any kind of visa here and on top of that we are a same sex couple so a fiance visa is out of the question. Definitely do not rush into a fiance visa until you are ready, but take comfort in knowing that is an option to close the distance when you two are ready. So there is a way for you to be together...LDR's take alot of patience. Try focusing on the good stuff...just knowing you two are together and have each other. Take this time to really get to know each other more. Time together online helps alot...my SO and I watch movies while we skype and play games, not sure if you guys have tried any of that?
            it's not a dream anymore, it's worth fighting for

            Comment


              #7
              Thank you everyone for the encouraging words. It's nice to find a place so positive and full of people who aren't rolling their eyes and saying, "You're wasting your time."

              We usually will watch movies or TV shows on Skype, and we do video chat as well. It's also great to know we aren't alone in these visa issues (ugh).

              As of now we don't have a date for our next visit, since I've been so busy. However, he does have an interview in February for a visitor's, which I hope is good news. I've heard so many horror stories of them being denied so that makes me nervous.

              We're also big MMO gamers, but I haven't had much time to play since I made the GIANT mistake of taking four writing classes in one semester.

              Thank you for the VisaJourney link. I'd never even heard of that site and I've done alot of visa research, as you may understand.
              Kristen & Ryan - Together since October 2008
              International LDR
              "Who, being loved, is poor?" - Oscar Wilde

              Comment


                #8
                Ah, indeed you did find the right place. It's made me feel so much better about my international relationship as well. These things can be so stressful. Especially with how complicated immigration can be these days. But don't fret There are so many ways to make this work for you and your man. I suggest you both by a web cam. With the stress you're under right now, seeing him will make you feel infinitely better, and the distance wont be so tangible. As for visa stuff, Garnet up there gave you a great website. I messaged her when I was stressed about my visa process and she and that website helped me and my man lots See, with the support?
                Anyway, there's lots of options for you. Feel free to message me if you ever feel frustrated or confused or just wanna talk
                Don't be a stranger.

                Comment

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