Big hugs or advice

[Čternity]

So I was wondering... Are you the sort of person that likes advice or solutions from others on your problems, even if they don't agree with you? Do you prefer to find your own way to work things out but appreciate support only if it's unconditional on your decisions?

So do you like advice or just support? Not just in your LDR but in life overall.

[sabby64]

I usually need someone to vent to but I don't really like advice, if something bad happens I usually just hole myself up in my room until I figure things out on my own, then all I need are some hugs and a good laugh.

[Zephii]

I'm a venter as well. I just want to talk it out. I appreciate advice, but generally I'm more interested in hearing other people's experiences then asking "what should I do?" I like to know what other people have done in similar situations and how that worked out for them, but I don't like being told "You should do this...". So yeah, tell me what you would do if you were me, but don't tell me what i should do. Haha
I don't like sympathy either support is great, but sympathy makes me feel even more like a loser.

With that said, I do enjoy a good debate. I love hearing different opinions, and I like to be challenged. I learn so much more when people say "Miriam, you're wrong!"

[lucybelle]

Agreed. I'm definitely a venter. But I also like advice on certain things.... Sometimes I just want someone to agree with me. I'm right dammit!

[blankita719]

Depends on what I am asking...there are definitely times when I want to just vent away, but like Zephii, I also like to hear what oter people have done in similar situations because it might give me other options to make something better. However, I'm usually pretty good at being upfront and stating whether I am purely venting and want support or if I really need advice to make a decision.

[LadyMarchHare]

I prefer advice when I make threads (even venting ones) but I do realize some of the situations I put out there are kinda solution-less. I feel weird getting a ton of "I'm sorry"s and the like but I do appreciate support, like when I write blogs here. Just if I have a problem, I want an option I haven't thought of, a route I didn't yet take, etc.

[Rosebud]

I aboluteley love getting advice since then I feel like people actually read what I wrote and aren't just thinking, Oh gosh, she's whining again, cheer up! Only problem is I'm usually much too stupid and stubborn to really ever listen to said advice so I know most of my friends don't really bother much with the realistic advice anymore. So...I guess I prefer a mixture. I don't prefer flat out, potentially negative advice (even if the most realistic answer), but I also don't like quick, Hang in there's! either. Usually the responses I get here are pretty awesome though of people trying to look on the bright side and offer positive explanations and such for why things might be going troublesome.

[Bluestars]

If I ask people for advice, I will always take what they say into consideration. I ask for advice all of the time. I have several friends who I will call if my computer messes up. I call my dad when I have car problems and questions about school. My mom always gives amazing advice on every day things. I constantly ask my teachers for help outside of class

When it comes to my relationship though, I am very hesitant to ask for advice, and if I do then you know I need it! I might (very rarely) vent to one or two of my closest friends about my relationship if I am having problems, but like I said, if I do not ask for the advice, then it is probably not wanted. Even if I do not want to receive advice at those times though, I will still think about it if it makes a good point. But usually my mind is already made up by the time I am venting, so all I want is to just want to get it off my chest without being judged.

That is generally speaking. On this forum, I usually try resorting out my problems in real life to the best of my ability before I ask for help. If I do not ask for advice, then 9 times out of ten, it is just me venting. If I do ask for advice, then I want to hear every person's differing opinion because I might be missing something really important. I will then judge it to see if I agree with it. If I do not, then I just ignore it, but I think most of the times on here the advice has been right on One thing that I always keep in mind though is that people will never know the entire complexity of the issue, so sometimes they will jump to conclusions without really understanding. For instance, someone might say another person is being selfish, but maybe the person didn't elaborate enough for others to understand the entire situation.

[LostInLove]

Generally speaking, if I need advice I ask for it. Otherwise, I just need to vent, and usually for someone to hug me and tell me everything is going to be okay, whether it's true or not. Once I've calmed down, then I'm open to advice.

[Dauntedpoet]

I am a strange bird, it often takes me a while to digest things and settle them in my own mind. I like to hear other peoples first hand experiences because it often points out a facet of the issue I haven't thought of, also its easier to accept advice from someone who's been there. I don't mind advice and welcome it, but I doubt I've often followed advice given me. LOL

[machstx]

i need to vent! i like to hear what people did in my situation and even ask me questions, it makes me feel better talking about the little details of what happend. i appreciate the "hope you feel betters" on the forum because i realize some people dont know what to say but want me to know they care.

[Caitlin2009]

it depends. most of the time i like to vent and seek advice from people especially on here because i know people are going through almost the same things, sometimes i'll handle it on my own!

[Silviar]

I like advice, but let me be very clear: I like constructive, useful advice that involves ways perhaps that I may not have thought about SOLVING the solution. I hate it when people find all of these negative ways to approach a situation. That's just not who I am. I don't care if they agree with me or not, but if the solution is a useful, logical one, I'm happy to listen to it.

However, I've generally found that for really big things, like when I went through my divorce, only support was best because no one knew all of the particulars of my situation. I had a lot of people trying to toss out advice like candy, and half of it wasn't even relevant to my situation, and a third was just plain mean-spirited.

[gh0stfl0wers]

It really depends on my situation. Sometimes I don't know what to do, so I need advice. Other times I know exactly what to do, but need support because it's hard.