Have any of you ever felt....??

[wyerbl]

Hi my name is Brittney and ive been in my LDR for 7 months now. Everything is going great and He's coming to see me for Christmas so im really excited... the thing is Im not as excited as i used to be when he came to see me. I also dont really have those gut wrenching feelings of missing him as much. dont get me wrong i still love him with all my heart and i do miss him and i am excited... its just not as much as I used too. Have any of you ever gone through this?? Is it normal? Am i just getting used to the distance or is it a sign of losing feelings for him(which i dont feel like i am??) Help! Im confused

[Zephii]

I'm pretty sure that's normal And I think it's good. You're obviously in control of yourself enough not to let the distance ruin your life Not everyone finds it terribly painful and complicated. So, welcome to the forums

[Rosebud]

I would say not to worry about it I would say after about 7 months is when that high energy stage of 'puppy love' begins to wear off, you know where everything is just buzzing with excitement and raw emotion, and you've settled into a more solid relationship. If he visits you often (some folks here only get to see their SO every once in a blue moon so it's easier to get omg!excited about trips) it also makes sense that you aren't constantly yearning for him. Some couples simply don't do well spending 24/7 hours together and that's perfectly fine and it doesn't mean you love your partner any less than couples who do. Unless you are doubting your actual feelings which it doesn't sound like you are, then my opinion is that this is entirely normal. Maybe try a few new activities with him to bring some of that spark back if you'd like.

[sabby64]

For me it's worn off because we saw eachother so much the past month it became almost like seeing eachother all the time CD... It just wasn't the same. So I decided to cancel my end of November trip and I won't be seeing him until Christmas now... I mean, it was because of money issues, but in a way I'm almost happy because I remember the feeling of finally seeing him after a long time apart again

[Stephanieeee]

Ah, I went thourgh this too. The first couple months I was completly giddy and obbsessed and needed to be talking to him every second. But, meh, after a bit we matured and were just really good at finding a nice balance for one another in our daily routine. Every time I spoke to him, it felt forced and different. I still loved him, but I could tell my feelings for him were evolving into soemthign different, which happens to all coulpes at some point. I was pretty concerned though when this happened to me, I thought I was loosing my feelings as well. I wrote him an email about it, I'll show you the quote that made me think differently about the way I was thinking:

"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being “in love” which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.” -St. Augustine.

You see, you're just feeling the type of love that lasts. Nothing to be worried about. And in a couple months when you realize this, you'll feel like your old self again.

[Silviar]

It's normal. Sometimes after awhile your body will adjust to dealing with the distance. Some people adjust better/differently than others, but I had plenty of times where I no longer have gut wrenches. I think that means you're most likely moving out of the honeymoon phase.

[wyerbl]

Thank you so much everyone. You made me feel alot better What you guys said makes total sense and im not so confused or scared anymore

[wyerbl]

"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being “in love” which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.” -St. Augustine.

.

Aw thats a good quote and does make me think differently. Thank you

[TknandLvnIt]

I love the quote too it really makes you think about what it means to love someone and if you should say it just because its "time" or if you should wait until you actually feel that way. I mean what does love feel like anyway? I have said that I loved a few guys but I don't think I really loved them because how I felt about them doesn't even to compare to how I feel when I'm with my SO or just talking to him...How did love feel for you? Is it a bubbly feeling or more like the quote by St Augustine?

[TknandLvnIt]

I think that there is nothing wrong with that feeling going away. I have days where I feel like I'm going to fall apart, when I can't bear talking to him because I miss him so much and crazily enough on those days he is feeling the same way. There are other days that I am so busy with what's going on with me that I forget about the distance or that we haven't talked. I think being in love or being in a relationship does go through phases...but one thing my SO told me that made me smile was that the honeymoon doesn't have to end. As long as we are both crazy about each other and work to keep our relationship we don't have to experience the other things. But I completely understand because I feel the same way at times when we are talking...I have nothing to say and talking feels like a chore but when we stop trying to force the conversation to be interesting it becomes a lot easier. But i agree with what everyone said relationships go through a lot of changes and your feelings for him are deeper than that giddy feeling. I'm glad you are feeling better and this post really helped me to think about my rltshp :-)

[wyerbl]

At first it was a giddy head over heels type thing like i had with every other of my relationships.. but this time it felt like my whole heart and soul was into it. Over time though
it slowy calmed i guess even though i didnt realize it untill now now its a deeper love. I guess i dont really know how to explain it. alls i know is ive never loved or cared
for someone this much. lol

[wyerbl]

I love the quote too it really makes you think about what it means to love someone and if you should say it just because its "time" or if you should wait until you actually feel that way. I mean what does love feel like anyway? I have said that I loved a few guys but I don't think I really loved them because how I felt about them doesn't even to compare to how I feel when I'm with my SO or just talking to him...How did love feel for you? Is it a bubbly feeling or more like the quote by St Augustine?

I know love is such a complicated thing. At first it was a giddy head over heels type thing like i had with every other of my relationships.. but this time it felt like my whole heart and soul was into it. Over time though
it slowy calmed i guess even though i didnt realize it untill now now its a deeper love. I guess i dont really know how to explain it. alls i know is ive never loved or cared
for someone this much. lol

[luna_banana]

The good thing is that when you have to say goodbye, it will also hurt less as well. The first time I left my SO we were both practically bawling. But now we're able to smile at each other, kiss, and leave with somewhat stabler emotions. It makes the leaving a lot easier, lol

[Beeks3]

This post brings up a lot of good points.. I've been having the same issues as wyerbl.. I guess that means I'm growing up and into my relationship..?