Didn't think about this...

[LostInLove]

So at work the other day I overheard one of my coworkers talking, him and his girlfriend are in the same age range as me and my SO. He was talking about buying diamond earrings for his girlfriend for christmas. Before then it had never occured to me that my boyfriend might buy me something nice for christmas. I have a HUGE preference for gifts that are inexpensive and well thought out rather than expensive and fancy. For example, I'm making him a hat and scarf with the pattern being a reference to something that'll make him chuckle. This kind of stuff is more personal which I really appreciate, and usually costs less. I was raised to discourage people from spending lots of money on me, and I agree with the philosophy. I'd rather him save the money for a trip to see me, or for something he needs.

Here's the problem. While I'm pretty sure he's not getting me diamonds anytime soon, I'm not 100% sure. And by the sounds of it, he's already bought me a christmas and birthday present (my bday's new year's eve). Should I bring this up now, so even if he HAS gotten me something expensive he has time to return it? Or should I take the chance and wait, and if he has then I can say something like "I love it, but in the future..."? I don't want to hurt his feelings, but this is a moral dilemma for me. :/

[stacyrose]

I would say if he's already gotten it, I wouldn't tell him to return it. I know I'd be hurt if my boyfriend told me to return anything I got him. I know its hard to accept gifts that you feel are too expensive and such, I'm the same way, but if you know he's already gotten it, just let it be and accept what he's gotten you for this holiday, and if it bothers you that much just sit down with him after your birthday and tell him you'd prefer more inexpensive things and have a genuine talk about it.

[LadyMarchHare]

I agree with stacyrose. Don't tell him to return such a thing. In fact, I think it's kind of a no-no to tell people to return gifts at all. Even if you don't like expensive gifts, it's a gift from him and you could at least wear the gift when you're on cam with him or the like to show you appreciate it but tell him in the future you'd rather he go another route for, say, saving money for visits. That way you're tagging on a good excuse that won't hurt his feelings.

[Karringtyn]

gifts are gifts...let him buy what he wants. My So and I had a talk. We set a money limit and told the other to spend it on our kids...so we now have to be very creative...which to me is tons of fun.....

It will all be good

[Zephii]

Money means different things to different people, and besides that some people just aren't creative or don't have time to make something - or don't have the talent if they already know what they want to give. Don't cramp his style this year.
I'd just wait until I received it, and if it seemed very expensive I'd say "I absolutely love it, but if you spend this much on me again I will kill you,"

[nicole]

I wouldn't ask him to return it- it would hurt his feelings for one, and even if they are expensive, he probably put a lot of thought into buying it anyway- I know my SO has been looking for my birthday present for months, and it's in January. Maybe next year, set a limit or agree to make each other gifts?

[LadyMarchHare]

Money means different things to different people, and besides that some people just aren't creative or don't have time to make something - or don't have the talent if they already know what they want to give. Don't cramp his style this year.
I'd just wait until I received it, and if it seemed very expensive I'd say "I absolutely love it, but if you spend this much on me again I will kill you,"

To add on, if handmade/inexpensive gifts are wanted, show him the site etsy.com. It's a site full of completely handmade stuff, even food. So that might be an option for next time.

[LostInLove]

Okay, I was thinking that was probably the right thing to do, but the urge to tell him is killing me. To my defense I wasn't going to ask him to return it, I just thought if I let him know now that I didn't need/want something expensive he would have a chance to return it if he so chose. But I guess it wouldn't quite come across that way, would it? Thanks for the advice guys!

Money means different things to different people, and besides that some people just aren't creative or don't have time to make something - or don't have the talent if they already know what they want to give.

I agree, but should clarify that I don't care if his gift is homemade. Mine's just worked out that way this time. And I don't need a whole lot of thought either, it could be something as simple as a picture of him to keep with me when I'm lonely. As long as it's not something he just randomly grabbed off the shelf. Not that he would do that, but just to give you an idea.

I'M RAMBLING!!! I'll shut up now. Thanks again!