Missing Letters

[Lunar Snow]

I've talked before about how he used to send me all those wonderful, spontaneous packages and flowers, etc. and now he doesn't anymore. I know it's unfair to expect those things and he is a practical person, but he is also a romantic person and I feel sad that that has ceased. What happened to the woo?

Mainly, I wanted to bring up letters and postcards, though. Letters and postcards don't take long to write and can be sent for fairly little--I think they are meaningful and well worth the effort. Back in the spring, he and I agreed to Love Letter Day, with a modification that we would send something in the mail every month (but it didn't have to be sent a specific day). We were both good about sending a letter, card, or postcard each month. In September, he even deluged me with wonderful postcards (I treasure letters, but postcards are great, too...and he seems to really like choosing novel designs and a chance to be pithy). The last one I had was for Halloween (which was sent as a bit of an afterthought when he saw how hard I had worked on the Halloween surprise I had sent him) and with November ending on Tuesday, I'm not sure that he remembered/ bothered to send me something. He knows how much we both value mail and the positive influence it has on brightening up our lives with the distance. ...and, yes, I've ranted before, but basically I used one of my birthday wishes (which I have talked about in another post, but they are prized and should be honoured in a timely fashion) to ask that he send me a letter this month. I said that it could be just two pages and that one of the pages could be a drawing, a copy of a favourite poem, or even sheet music that he likes--I don't think this was too daunting by any means (it's short, he can find other media to use rather than write everything himself, and did I mention it's short and he doesn't have to come up with a lot to say?). It was seeming a bit like he had had a whole month and hadn't done it, so a couple day ago, when he was going on about how much he wanted to stay on Skype and keep talking (even though we were both really tired and didn't have too much else to say), so I suggested that he could chill out and read a book or write a letter (*hint, hint*) and he rolled his eyes and said "I know, I know...I'll get around to it sometime." I didn't know writing a two page letter to me was such a chore (and, seriously, that was the first time I could have been described as nagging him about it).

It could be that he has written something and sent it off and he is being really pig-headed about wanting to surprise me (sometimes he is like this and it has caused troubles earlier on in our relationship). ...but, given that the consistency of the mail decrease and the noticeable avoidance of it...I'm leaning more toward him being a...well...a bit of a jerk about this, really. ...and...okay, maybe this is me launching into insomniac, PMS mode, but he's never sent me an actual love letter and I would really, really be delighted to have one!!! Some have a semi-romantic or thoughtful tone, but all have content about interesting facts, what he's up to, and things he would like for us to do together (which I really like). I don't know...maybe I need to write him a mushy love letter, so he knows what I'm looking for...but I feel so dubious about it when I know that he is fully capable of writing me a love letter.

[Čternity]

As much as you might want it, as you say, 'nagging' isn't going to make it happen. What else does he do for you? Any other things that make you feel loved and special like him wanting to stay on skype even though you were both tired and didn't have much to say. I'd be trying to balance out all the other things he does with what you still want. I would praise the stuffing out of him for everything he does do that you want to get again. People love praise and it helps them remember what is special to us. Don't give to get, give without expecting anything in return, that's when the best surprises happen.

[Rane]

Talking as a negligent man, I had times where Garnet had sent me maybe 4 or 5 things in the mail, and I had still to get one thing off... In fact, during our whole relationship, as far as snail mail goes, she dominated that area. And I loved everything she sent me, and told her so. I expressed myself online though, but still, to have something tangible is nice. Eventually I think something knocked my senses in, and I just went on a mission and sent her 4 love letters at once, one that was romantic, one that was naughty, one that was a drawing (I cannot draw at ALL, but she loves them anyway. :P), and one that was a poem, I think one that spelt out "I'm yours", with a basic rhyming scheme (I never was great at English. :P), but it's the thought that really counts. I guess what I'm trying to convey with my little story is that you're not alone in having a frustrating guy who should send more snail mail. I would say make sure he knows that it would mean a lot to you to have something real you could hold in your hands that makes you think of him, but leave it at that and don't push the point. As long as he still expresses his affection online, right?