We're both stuck...advice/help?!

[princessmia]

Okay so a few of you on here know my situation through blogging. Basically we have been struggling to meet for a long time, we've had a chance in December to meet but it didn't go through because my dad said no, Alex was going to come up here in March and his parent's said no..both of our dads don't approve of our relationship pretty much and we struggle with that. we get the 'why can't you just find someone here' all the time.
We're both stuck. We don't have money, and both of our dads don't want us going anywhere, and both sets of our parents want the other person coming here.
At this rate we're not going to meet for another year...and it's felt like forever already..
I've been trying for months and months to get a job, but no one is hiring with the economy. And I've never held a position before, so I have no experience. Bad, bad combination.
Does anyone have any suggestions that could help us?
The only possible way right now is my dad said if I paid for it..he still wouldn't want me to go and would be against it, but couldn't really do anything about it because it'd be my money...I don't know.
It's difficult for me as well because I'm trying to start my life and whatever get a car, save up to move out and stuff, and this is a big part of it as well. We just want to figure out if what we have is actually going to work out, and also we just want the flipping chance to meet and we've been everything but lucky...we've never caught a break.
Thank you for anyone who responds =]

[LadyMarchHare]

I was in the same boat job-wise. I was looking everywhere and everyone turned me down because I had no experience but after a while an interview actually paid off. All I can say to that is despite the aggravation applications pose, keep chugging along.

And if you're both underage and living with parents, it may indeed be a while before you meet unfortunately. Their house, their rules and I don't advocate running away. I'm not sure what to say to that beyond keep on trying to get your dad and SO to talk/get your dad to at least approve by talking about the positives/etc. He wants to be stubborn, be stubborn too. You may be his baby girl and he wants to 'protect' you from the big bad interwebs but at some point he has to realize you're old enough to make sound decisions and that you're not giving up on this guy just because it's hard. The best of luck to you, hon.

[DarkSolitary]

I don't really have much advice to give because I am in a similar situation except it's just with his family. But I can say that you two will find a way =) I'm also having a hard time job hunting ^^; But anyways, I wish you both good luck in meeting

[jerseygirl904]

I was amazed to see how many LDR's involve much younger people. I'm not saying it's wrong, back when I was your ages...we didn't have the means of communication that's at hand now. No one had heard of the internet and the only people who had cell phones, drove Jaguars! LOL So, all of my relationship were fairly "local" - maybe a few towns between us, but mostly local. Love at that age is so difficult, add the distance to it and I'm afraid to say that I cannot blame parents for being overly cautious. As a mom, I can see the "parental control" side of it...for sure. As someone who was once very young and in love, of course, I see the other side of the coin as well.

I can say this, pushing either of your parents will only make them dig their heels in deeper. It's the same as with parents/children..."Don't touch the hot stove, honey" - BAM! Burnt hand! They're going to do the EXACT opposite of what you want to achieve. Have either of you attempted to calmly speak with your parents about your relationship? As difficult as THAT sounds, I'm sure...maybe if you explained it...they would be more open.

As far as the job situation...maybe look at a career you're interested in and see if you can volunteer at a place related to your interest? It's a good way of getting some experience "for free" - so to speak...and a way to get your foot in the door at some places.

Good luck to you both!!

[Zephii]

Well, 6 months really isn't that long, neither is a year, but I know it sure feels like it and that meeting will give you the sense of security and "knowing" you seek.
You live not far from me, if you want I can write you a nice reference saying you worked for me and give a contact phone number. I'm willing to bend the truth to help you get a job. I'll also look at your resume for you if you like. I'm pretty decent at job hunting
Lemme know.

[Čternity]

*puts parent hat on* Well if it were me as a parent, I'd be trying to work out your committment to the relationship and how mature you are being in trying to make the visit happen. You are right, it's tough economic times so I'd be wondering if you had any idea on how much it may cost to make a trip happen. I wouldn't be shelling out money on a whim much less sending my daughter/son off to meet someone who I didn't know.

So that being said what can you do? I'd make up a budget with the expenses involved in travelling/accommodation. I'd be looking for all sorts of ways to make money to put towards the trip. If my kids have a worthy goal, I match them dollar for dollar to motivate them. Yours may not do this though. Jobs are scarce yes, but people still need their kids babysat, their dogs walked, their car cleaned etc etc. Keep on applying for jobs, volunteer at places to get your face, skills, and work ethic known by people.

While you are doing all this, I would make your LDR more visible. Electronic communication is great, emails, text, IMs etc but it's all pretty much invisible to everyone else. Get your SO to start mailing you cards, letters, photos, small things to show your parents that this is real. Are you parents on FB? Can you show them through FB as well?

LDRs generally involve sacrifice, you need to work out what are you willing to do to prove that your LDR is worth it to your parents.