It's not fair, need to vent !

[__ms.jaye]

Alright, so as much as I am so happy to people with count downs to when they are finally going to close the distance with their SO's it makes me so upset, and I am sorry I just cannot help it. I get so jealous and depressed about my situation. I know I am being a selfish little twit but I am in University and for those of you who are in Univeristy/College or some level of post secondary education will know it is simply very very VERY unlikley that you will close the distance until your schooling is finished... Thats another 2 and a bit years!

ALSO !

In order for my SO to move from the US to Canada we'll have to get married before anything can even start with the process of closing the distance. Because we spoke to a immigration advisor and work visas are almost impossible to recieve in this economy. It's just NOT FAIR, we're supposed to be allies but we treat each other so awful, Canada will let in refugee's but make it almost impossible for an American to join us. So I have to wait almost 3 years, then get married, pray and pray to be granted a PR and THEN just then maybe we'll live happily ever after. I'm sorry once again, I dont mean to be offensive I just needed to vent.

Do any of you guys feel this way? If so what do you do?

[Gurl]

In the wake of my relationship problems (ending?), I can truly understand what you're saying. It's hard to see other's so happy when somethings bothering you. But your human, don't beat yourself up for it.

As far as closing the distance, Talk to Garnet or Rane. He's just gotten here from Canada...they weren't married but engaged with wedding plans. They may be able to help ease your fears and frustrations with the process. If nothing else, they are both sweet, and will know what you two are going through.

Hang in there. Love is worth it. Work hard, get your degree, love hard, and work at being happy together in this moment. If you both want this bad enough, and are willing to cope with the pains and work for the good...you will make it.

[__ms.jaye]

Aww well thank you very much, who should I talk to? And he will be coming from the US to Canada.. so I don't know if it's opposite because I BELIEVE you can get a fiance visa in the states but not Canada... I dont know though I would love to talk to them for sure. It's just so frusterating like school means so much to me but I am also so in love, that I feel like I just want to give up on my degree to be with him.

[Èternity]

Maybe talk to Zephii too, she moved from Australia to Canada and they aren't married.

[Zephii]

*Tips her hat to Eternity*

Canada, in my experience, is a bloody easy country to get into, so don't stress There are a lot of immigrants here. If you do your paperwork properly and he's got a clean record, you'll be jolly fine.
It's a complete myth that you need to be married to get your PR, Canada is very progressive. You can file for PR as common law partners if you've managed to live under the same roof as your SO for a year and can prove it, and you can also apply as conjugal partners, which I don't really understand to be honest, but it can get you around the living together a year thing if that's simply not possible. You can apply for PR from within or from outside Canada.

You can get a Working Holiday Program visa to enter Canada. From the US this visa only lasts 6 months which is completely lame, but you might be able to extend it or re-apply (I'm on a WHP visa from Australia, which can be extended).

Talk to Folcor as well (she's a chat mod and can often be found there,) because she's American moving up here to be with her Canadian bf, so she'll likely have good advice for you.
The Canadian immigration website is: https://www.cic.gc.ca/english/index.asp It's not the easiest thing in the world to understand, but if you read it slowly three or four times the information will start to make sense (or that's how I did it lol, you might be smarter than me!) so don't give up hope.

As for getting jealous of others, just realise how long some of those couples have struggled with the distance too. Some of them have waited as long as you will need to. Realise if they can do it, you surely can too. Best wishes!

[kymccloud]

I'm going to school also. My SO and I both know that I have to finish school before we can close the distance. It is hard for us. I can only imagine how hard it would be if my SO lived in a different country. My heart goes out to you! I hope everything works out and you can both be together.

[Karringtyn]

I understand the whole jealousy thing...but we each need to remember we are all at different stages in our lives....and in our relationships. That's what makes this site soo wonderful!

[Rosebud]

It's so ironic you posted this since I was just considering making one myself on pretty much the exact same issue. Me and my SO are in the same boat as you in that I have at last 2 years left of school (maybe more if I decide to travel abroad) and he probably has 3. Discussing any plans of closing the distance before then is pretty much just a pipe dream so I do understand how you feel when it comes to that hurtful sting of jealousy in watching others manage to overcome their obstacles so much sooner. I can't really say for how to get over that jealouy since it will likely always be there, but what you can do is focus on what you DO have between yourself and your SO, that even if it's LD remember just how special it really is and focus your energy on what it is that makes you so happy being with your loved one *hugs* Hang in there, it won't last forever

[justbreathe]

I don't have much to say, I just wanted to let you know you're definitely not alone. I made a thread just like this a few weeks ago. It's hard to not think about the future for me, I'm constantly planning and worrying! My SO and I are sophomores, so we have at the very least 2.5 years left also. And there's a possibility he's going farther for the last two years of his bachelor's, which is a completely different story in itself.

Just... you're not alone. <33

[mllebamako]

Don't worry little one!! It'll be okay

Zephii covered immigration so I'll just turn to the other stuff.
It's pretty natural that you feel jealous about others closing the distance but this site is large and has people at many stages of and LDR, so don't just focus on the ones nearing the end of the distance. (Plus, I just want to point out that closing the distance does not equal happiness).

Focus on your relationship and what's good for you guys. You may have some things that others don't. As I said in another thread:
People always think the grass is greener on the other side...but every couple has their own set of challenges to overcome. I remind myself to worry about my own grass and make sure I water it and plant some pretty flowers.

[KiwiLove]

Oh...I do so much agree with you!!!
I really do get upset to see all those close the distance countdowns...it makes me so sad.
I am happy for those who can close the distance, since I know they are going through the same as we do...But just maybe with some more luck? A bit more support?
I dont know...its just really hard when you dont have any support or that much luck to be together with your beloved one... :-(

Is there no visa for unmarried couples which lasts for a year or something and then you can apply for permanent stay??

Wish you GOOD LUCK ♥

[armygf4510]

I'm in school too and I have another 2 years left (it sucks!!!) ...My relationship isn't international but it's a Military LDR...I plan on moving to him when I graduate...but who knows where he's gonna be or how long we'll be there...
I hope you're able to sort out him moving up there!

[Riyko]

You can get a Working Holiday Program visa to enter Canada. From the US this visa only lasts 6 months which is completely lame, but you might be able to extend it or re-apply (I'm on a WHP visa from Australia, which can be extended).

This is true that he could apply for a WHV but only if he's a full time university student in the US and he'll be full time in I believe it has to be either Fall 2011 or Winter 2012 is when he would first be able to start the website can be found here https://www.swap.ca/in_eng/index.aspx

I understand your frustration about immigrating to Canada especially from the States, the only real options are study in canada or have someone sponsor you. I've been trying my hardest to find a way to stay in Canada (not because of a relationship, but because I completely love it here and I take advantage of my visitor visa every chance I get). I've even been applying for jobs hoping to find a company who will sponsor me and hoping they will like that I have Canadian college education, but it's not possible right now.

If I do come across something I will let you know about it and maybe it will help

[Zephii]

This is true that he could apply for a WHV but only if he's a full time university student in the US and he'll be full time in I believe it has to be either Fall 2011 or Winter 2012 is when he would first be able to start the website can be found here https://www.swap.ca/in_eng/index.aspx

Yeah, I just saw this online. It's so jipped! Completely not fair.

Good luck on your quest to stay in Canada

[__ms.jaye]

GREAT NEWS GUYS,

I looked into it quite a bit done some research spoke to the advisors of both schools and I hope to study at the University of Minnesota, for my final years of education which means if all goes well and I am accepted I will be living with my SO YAY, i have one year to prep, and will be working in harmony hopefully with an advisor there to prepare myself to be accepted.