Im in a Holiday Pickle... Please Offer Some Advice...

[OliveOyl]

So, my SO and I met right when I was leaving Mexico. I saw him the last 2 nights I was there, and I will be honest, I've never ever felt such an instant attraction to someone. I even cried when we said our goodbyes. It was overall very overwhelming, and confusing, and after talking frequently for a few weeks, he asked me to be his GF. I obviously said yes. A few weeks later, I told him about going back to Mexico to do some research ( I study fiestas, and christmas is a major holiday). He invited me to spend Christmas with him, and it took me about 1.5 months to agree to his offer. Especially after making sure of two things: 1) that I made sure I did go to do work for school and 2) to make sure my parent's thought it was okay.

So, I initially told my parents over dinner and my mom simply ignored the question and then before I went back to school for Fall, My mom heavily advised me not to go. But, I talked to my dad and he didn't see a problem with it as long as it was going to benefit me somehow academically. Which was my initial reason for going in the first place...

So now, after being in constant contact for over 3 months, and plans are being finalized, my mom just yelled at me over the phone because I guess she figured I was going to change my mind about going by now. I have my plane tickets already and she mentioned how disappointed she was because most people want to be with their families on the holidays. And, I don't know now I am overly paranoid. She doesn't know my SO at all, and it doesn't make her comfortable that I only spent 2 days with him, and now I'm going for the holidays. I only have barely 3 weeks off for winter recess, so I wont be seeing my family until March.

I'm re-thinking my return trip to the US from Mexico, to spend the holiday with the family, but if I do, our schedules will not work out (me and my SO). Im awfully upset. ANd I talked to my SO about it and he was really upset and heartbroken too.. Does anyone have any advice? My moms primary concern is for my safety. I've traveled abroad before by myself, but usually I had at least 1 friend along with me. So, she is concerned if I get into some trouble, what would she do, who would she call to find me?! Good questions.. I have no answer. I need some help!!!!

[Kika]

If your age here (25) is true, then I don't see any problem. Assure her that you are prepared, tell her what would you do if something happens. Give her your SO's number, I don't know...

My friend travels from Europe to the U.S. on her own since she was 15, we aren't even from English speaking country I live on my own in different state since I was 17, your mom shouldn't be worried at all good luck!

[Silviar]

You've traveled over there before - what precautions did you take for your safety then? It's no different, only now you have a personal contact there instead of a friend going with you. I would arrange to perhaps send an email every day, give her the locations you'll be at with contact numbers (number of a hotel, his place if you're staying there, etc), and that way she can see every day that you're still on the radar, so to speak. At 25, it's normal you'd take a trip alone, and while I'm all for safety, I think it's realistic to do something and stay in contact via facebook, email, twitter, smoke signal - whatever your preference.

[ioanna]

Hey there : )
if i were in your shoes, my parents would also rather i spent the holidays at home; but the fact that you're primarily going for academic purposes should be a good enough reason for them to accept.. now, i also understand that your mom would feel uneasy about your going by yourself, and even thought you're her 25 year old adult child, she will still feel nervous because you are her child... i would suggest you agree on a predefinite time to make contact, like a msg every two or 3 days; and also letting her know you are well prepared for every eventuality ( and being so ) like for instance locating a hotel or hostel where you can stay nearby if for some reason you do not feel comfortable staying with your host etc..
i wish you the best of luck, and most of all a great vacation!

[Bluestars]

Like others have said, I also understand why your mother is concerned....but you are 25 and capable of making your own decisions. In the future, a lot of people do not get to spend every holiday with their parent's because they move and have families of their own. I would definitely make the trip if I were you because 1) I would want to see my SO, 2) it would be a good experience for you, and 3) your parent's will be more likely to accept things like this in the future once you do this.

[amb85]

I was in the same boat as you. I went to South America by myself to visit my SO and my mom was all kinds of nervous and I am your age. You just have to keep reassuring her that you will keep in contact with her. Give your mom your SO's contact info and the address of where you will be staying. It may help for your mom to meet your SO over skype or something that way she knows who you will be with.

[OliveOyl]

Thank you guys a lot, my mom really relies on me too much sometimes, and I tend to forget that sometimes, I've passed up a lot of opportunities because I didn't want to hurt her feelings. This is my first SOLO trip to Mexico, last time my brother met up with me and I had some friends there as well, but this time I wont have that network available. I told her I'd have Omar call her, but she yelled at me for suggesting that because she doesn't know him or trust him. I am thinking the Skype thing might be a really great idea! I was planning on bringing my cheap laptop, but I think it would be a good way to "introduce" them. He can't use skype because, well Mexico is a whole helluva lot different from Europe, in terms of safety & internet. After thinking it over, I've decided to stick with my original goal for 2010, and do things I wouldn't normally do, do what makes me happy, and see where life takes me. I have a tendency to give in to people (like my mom), but yea, I agree that I am 25, I've traveled alone before in Peru before, I think I'm capable. Oy, I think my mom is just really hurt that I "don't want to spend Christmas with her..." which isn't true, I do want to, I just want to kind of also dive head first and give this whole love thing a shot. thanks for your advice everyone, I reeeaaalllly appreciate it.