Stressful Times = Stressful Relationship

[SunshinetoApple04]

Hey fellow LDR's

I'm new to the site and I love all the support I see and I just want to have some suppport for what I'm going through.

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 7 years (Jan. 2004) We have hit a very hard road in our relationship. I had issues with jealousy & control, I am trying to work through those now. He went out every weekend and got drunk and we always faught.

I recently found out my mom had cancer which has made me very upset and more needy. I also am going through my final year of college and I had an internship that kept me very busy. He was going through the police academy in NY and he was VERY busy with that all the time.

He finally confessed he was getting cold feet. Our plans were to move in with each other next summer (we had an apartment lined up) and to be engaged shortly after that. He wasnt sure what he wanted anymore.

We are talking through it now. We are very much in love and He is making plans to come see me for the holidays. We just are going through a tough time.

Any advice?

Thanks!

[kymccloud]

maybe some time together is what you need. It may be better to talk things out in person.

[CynderAngel]

It's great that he's planning to see you for the holidays. Maybe it'll be just the thing he needs to show him that what he really wants is to be with you. Or maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic. X3 Either way, you'll have to talk to him about this. Find out what specific concerns he has. Is he worried about money? Is he unsure of your relationship in some way? Whatever it is, a good conversation should be able to help pinpoint exactly what's giving him the cold feet.

[blankita719]

First of all, welcome to the forums.

Secondly, I'm sorry you're having such a stressful time and that it's affecting your relationship. I definitely think you should have a long conversation when he visits to see why he's feeling this way and see if there's a chance the two of you can get back on track.

I wish you the best of luck!

[Butterfly]

Welcome. I am somewhat new to this site as well and I cannot tell you what a great source of support this forum is. There are great people here.

As for your situation, I believe spending time together is exactly what you both need. I'm so sorry you are dealing with such difficult things in your life right now. It's true what they say.. "When it rains it pours." I am dealing with very similar situations in my life as well. Every relationship goes through tough times, long distance or not.. And sometimes those hard times are the ones that make you stronger.

I sincerely hope everything works out. Keep us updated on how everything goes!