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    #1

    Cheapsake/Rant

    This is gunna be a bit long, I have two things to vent about

    1)My bf has been living with me and my parents for 3 weeks now. I love him to pieces but he been getting on my nerves. He's not used to the prices here. He complains about how expensive EVERYTHING IS. From beer to food. I always apologize to him about it, but there's nothing I can do about it. He moved down here for work, because there is none by him. Idk what I can even say to him to make him stop doing it, but be understanding at the same time.

    2) I'm having a bit of a lapse in self-esteem. My oven exploded last Saturday and my hands and hair were badly burnt. I loved my hair, I always feel pretty when my hair feels nice, but now it's burnt and nasty. I also have a rash on my stomach ( it's something viral I just have to wait for it to go away) I feel absolutely hideous. Does anyone have any tips to feeling better about myself right now?

    I sound so whiny and I'm sorry. I just need to get it out
    "We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love " ~ Theodore Seuss Geisel.
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    #2
    You're not whinny at all *hugs*

    1) Obi did that to me when he was staying in Australia with me and it pissed me right off, seriously. The way I got around it was by explaining that things LOOK expensive because of the wage difference, (higher minimum wage = higher prices for general items) but that in terms of labour to acquire them it's the same. Perhaps you can use this argument too. If that doesn't work tell him to write a nasty letter to the government because it isn't your problem.

    2) I'm really sorry for this Maybe you can do little things to pamper yourself? Or tell your SO how you feel so he can make an effort to make you feel as beautiful as you actually are. He probably sees a lot more to you than your skin and hair. Also, there are really nice silky scarves that you could wear to cover it, if that wouldn't be painful. Might help you feel more feminine.
    Sometimes if I need to feel pretty, I'll wear high heels. I don't know why, but that makes me feel like I'm better haha. No logic, but it might work for you too?

    We're all here for you *hugs*
    Happily married to the little Canadian boy I never thought I'd meet in person

    Comment

      #3
      I think with adjustment to moving, there's also an adjustment to the little things such as prices. If you live in a big/bigger city than he did then of course stuff will be more expensive. Stuff's pricey where I am, but I live in a big city, the state capital, and a tourist state. Tell him to just get over it, if he doesn't like it, don't buy the pricey stuff. Cheap stuff can be just as good sometimes.

      I remember when that incident happened, I'm so sorry. I know I'm terribly vain about my hair and if that happened to me I'd be hysterical and hiding from the world as if I were Quasimodo. Maybe you could look into getting a wig similar to what your hair looked like? That might help with your self esteem a bit and you won't feel awkward going out. Just try and take care of the hair you have, maybe get a good conditioner? I'm not sure how to remedy the burning beyond getting products that are meant to deal with chemically fried hair and see if that works. Again I'm so sorry that happened to you and I'm sorry your SO's being a bit of a butt.

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        #4
        1)The adjustment to moving is probably very hard on him, and he has to complain to someone (and that someone is you). Just be there for him while he is adjusting
        2) To make yourself feel pretty you should take a nice warm bubble bath with some candles and doll yourself up with some cute clothes! Your hair will eventually grow back to make due with what you have. Don't make that make you feel bad about yourself. You are a very pretty girl and you should show it through your smile!

        Comment

          #5
          1) I can identify with his frustration--perhaps, the place it is coming from is that he feels embarrassed that he can't afford special things or even basic things (e.g., my guy has expensive taste in restaurants and stuff, so sometimes I get a little grouchy when he is suggesting places that are out of my means. If he wants to go there, then it should be his onus to plan the date and pay for it, sort of thing). That said, it's nothing you need to apologize for. He's old enough to research living prices, etc. to where he is moving. Next time, (and any subsequent times) don't apologize for something you can't control--just encourage him to chill out about it and that you understand the transition is difficult and accentuate the positives about moving there if he keeps going on about it (e.g. having a job, having a place to stay, being closer to you, etc.). Make positive comments when he does financially contribute (to groceries, rent, a date, etc.) without complaining about prices.

          2) I'm very sorry about that! I always see your picture and think how cute you and your bunny look (I have a bunny, too and would kiss him if he would stay still enough for me to take the picture). First, about the hands, I had my hands scalded by hot water in the summer of 2009. It hurt like hell and I was very upset because I had very graceful fingers. I was worried that they would never look the same, but they have healed up nicely over time. I think the biggest issues with that are to manage pain and healing. Apply aloe, take Tylenol or something to reduce the pain and inflammation, and ask your doctor for a salve or lotion to help healing. It's kind of a no-no with burns when you first get them, but I needed to get back to work, so I did start bandaging my fingers so that I wouldn't bash them on stuff, etc. (I would put the lotion from the doctor on, then a breathable cloth bandage and then some medical tape). Second, regarding your hair...could some of the singed bits be trimmed off? It might give your hair a fresh start to grow in nice and healthy if you can trim it. A wig could be really fun, actually. I have long, blonde hair and sometimes and I used to wear a short, black wig that was cut in a bob--it made me feel like I could play different characters. I like the scarf idea, too. With the skin infection, just wait it out (my SO had a skin infection after we went swimming and was really embarrassed about it, but it went away with time and care). I like putting on pretty lingerie, dressing up, trying new make-up looks, or doing some seductive dancing to help myself feel sexy--maybe you might like some of those things, too.

          Comment

            #6
            In regards to #1, I just wanted to add that he may not realize he's coming off as complaining. His brain may still be trying to comprehend the shock of it all, and he hasn't realized to you it sounds like complaining since to him, it's like rediscovering food. I'd gently clue him in to the fact that he sounds like he's complaining a lot first.


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              #7
              Thanks for the advice guys.

              I know it's a huge shock for him. I live in the Most expensive county in NY, I'm used to paying 5.25 for a hamburger. He was the one who offered to move here. I've repeatedly told him I would move by him, because it would be easier to move out, but he doesn't want that.

              My hands are healing well tho. They are peeling just like a sunburn, I've been keeping them covered and lathered with Aquaphor to keep them from cracking. My hair, I cut most of the burned part off, but the worst damage was to my bangs, they are burnt all the way to the roots. They cut off what they could. I bought really good shampoo and conditioner. I've been using hair masks and cholesterol to try and condition it. I guess I just have to cross my fingers and hope for the best.
              "We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love " ~ Theodore Seuss Geisel.

              Comment

                #8
                Ive been in Manhattan for a few months and its even more expensive than Los Angeles. He'll just have to get used to it. Let him know that its not attractive to be complaining all the time but do give him time to adjust. You are the person that he is there for and he feels like he can vent with you, which is a good thing.
                Best of luck and I'm glad to hear that you are healing well. Sounds like you are doing everything you can about your hair so it should be fixed in no-time. Wish you the best =)

                Comment

                  #9
                  I once burned off the front of my hair when it caught fire in a candle. Did you go to a hairstylist? When it happened to me, I was able to have her cut it so I could part my hair so it wasn't so noticeable. I mean, it still looked strange, with little tufts growing back in, but it helped. A thin scarf that you could wear as a headband might be a good solution. Just tie it so it covers the very front of your hair. Or, you could buy thicker fabric headbands that might accomplish the same thing. Don't worry- it looks worse to you than anyone else, I'm sure of that.

                  Hugs!


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