Gah! I just want to strangle him with my shoe laces!!

[LadyMarchHare]

It sounds like he's playing the victim card on you. My mom does the same thing when I get unhappy with something she's done. They don't understand what it is they've done wrong, you're the bad guy, and you end up bending over backward for them. Maybe try standing your ground and telling him you can't be anymore clear about what he did. Because really I smell the victim and pity card being pulled here and I've fallen for both for years. And his excuse is weak. He'd look like a douche? He looks like a douche NOW. Something's up with the whole thing, and I don't mean just this incident. If he pulls stunts like this and then pulls the "what did I do" card and cries, that's drama you don't need. If you could work on a different talking tactic or leaving the conversation when he gets weepy, that might help.

[Casey]

3am at her house? I could do the library and the mcdonalds, but he obviously spent at least three hours ALONE with her AT HER HOUSE!
AND then he texted you all the details.

I agree with the above posters who think he is being very immature & probably trying to make you jealous. Perhaps demanding a "talk" with him may make him more hostile. So maybe just start off by asking why he texted you so many details, then why he didn't contact her, and what were they studying that took them so damn long. Or you could just demand the talk, like I probably would.

[Sano]

I texted and called him a few times that day and he never replied then he called me the next day and told me all about it. and said he never got my txts or phone calls

[Sano]

and I hurt my back at work yesterday so I called into work tonight so I thought maybe we could spend some time together tonight. He's too busy playing a game or something

[LadyMarchHare]

So he's too busy playing a game or some inane activity to keep you company when you're hurt? To me, and this is my opinion, that really sounds like he's losing interest in the relationship. I know my SO nearly kidnapped me to baby me when I told him I'd been in the ER for my leg. I'm not saying that's how he SHOULD act, but did he even show the slightest sympathy?

[London-FortCollins]

Just to play devils advocate...maybe he really doesnt realise why what he did upset you as they didnt actual "do" anything. In addition maybe thats why he told you every detail of what they did.

However on the flip side it may of course be a case of "doth protest too much"

Maybe he just really likes the attention from the girl who likes him even though he has no intention of doing anything.

Regardless though he has no right to then make you out as the bad guy.

Definitely need to talk to him. If phone calls are too highly emotional to come to any resolution what about messaging? In all honesty its sometimes much more beneficial to be able to have time to write it all down logically. And likewise take time to read his response and respond with a cool head.

Hope you manage to sort it out. *Huggles*

[Sano]

I've told him that it bothered bunches of times before. He apologizes and says he understands then turns right back around and does it again then when it upsets me again he claims he doesn't understand why

[__ms.jaye]

Okay this might just be the 'big black woman inside of me' (her names sha nay nay) *hehe* but this is EXACTLY what she was saying the entire time I was reading the post:
"GIIIIRRRRRRRLLL, he cheatin' on you or he thinkin' bout cheatin' on you or he bout to cheat on you! Ain't no way in damn hell he ain't got time to call you or send ya a quick text? Hellllll to the no, I say you need to sit his ass down and let him know that uh, he needs to straighten up and get it right you know what I'm saying? Ain't no two way thang about this one here baby girl, keep strong hold ya head up."

I SWEAR I'm not suffering from multiple personality; but in all seriousness I would be HELLA pissed if my SO did that to me I mean, think about it yes you can be nice but to go as far as spending the whole day it just a little ridiculous ESPECIALLY if you are in a relationship! I think there is SOME part of him that is interested in her; whether he likes the attention or if he is just genuinly interested in her. You need to have a serious conversation and ask him those painful questions:
1.)Do you have feelings for this girl?
2.)Do you want to be in this relationship anymore?
3.)Do you still deeply care about me?

Secondly, you need to FIRMLY and I mean FIRMLY let him know what he is doing is hurting you and how would he like it if the roles we're reversed? I mean ALL DAY with the person who HE KNOWS likes him is disgusting I would be so furious with my SO I don't even know if I'd want to stick with him because of my fear of cheaters. Bottom line is he has most DEFINITELY crossed a line, and needs to get straight again. Or tell you what's really going through his mind.

I'm sorry if I offended anyone, honest this post is sincerely filled with genuine concern.

[LadyMarchHare]

ms.jaye, that made my night, no lie.

That aside, I agree wholeheartedly with everything you've said. A line most definitely is getting crossed over and over and, sadly, it's like being a doormat. You have to up the ante in telling him to cut the crap or he can kiss your butt as it walks out the proverbial door. That being an ultimatum, but you get the point.

[__ms.jaye]

ms.jaye, that made my night, no lie.

That aside, I agree wholeheartedly with everything you've said. A line most definitely is getting crossed over and over and, sadly, it's like being a doormat. You have to up the ante in telling him to cut the crap or he can kiss your butt as it walks out the proverbial door. That being an ultimatum, but you get the point.

*Sha Nay Nay Bobs her head and snaps her fingers in a 'Z' formation*
"MMMMMMMHHHHHHM"

Lol but yeah thank you; glad she made your night.

[Sano]

Thats what I called myself doing when we talked but he just said he wouldnt be jealous because he trusts me or whatever but I really dont believe him.

[Darth_Taco]

You know he keeps doing this because he knows you'll forgive him and he knows you'll forgive him. He can get away with this stuff with you because you're not showing him there's any consequences in him doing it. All he has to do is bullshit a little and you'll just give in and let it go. I'm sorry, but that's not love on his part, that's convenience.

[LoveThatBoy]

Ya know...I can understand not wanting to sound possessive or anything (I've struggled a lot with trying to be the 'cool girlfriend')...but yeah. Like everyone has said. There need to be boundaries...and this definitely crosses one. I would suggest talking to him ASAP though. The longer you wait, the more he'll wonder why you didn't just say anything in the first place. Being alone with another girl...ESPECIALLY one who he KNOWS is into him...is just walking right into a trap. And 3am? Nothing good ever happens that late at night.

[LadyMarchHare]

You know he keeps doing this because he knows you'll forgive him and he knows you'll forgive him. He can get away with this stuff with you because you're not showing him there's any consequences in him doing it. All he has to do is bullshit a little and you'll just give in and let it go. I'm sorry, but that's not love on his part, that's convenience.

I agree with this completely. When people figure out patterns like that, they'll take advantage of it quicker than you can sneeze. It's also something cheaters use, if I'm not mistaken.

[LoveThatBoy]

When I get mad and try to tell him why im upset he always says he doesn't understand why I get so upset because he didnt do anything wrong. Then his voice gets all quivery like he going to cry and then he complains about he can't be with someone who doesn't trust him. So I asked him if he wanted to break up over it and he says no.

Yeah that sounds WAY too close to emotional abuse. And that is NOT ok.
I have known far too many beautiful women who have gotten dragged into that. It strips self-respect and makes for a terrible relationship.
YOU are the main girl in his life. If that means making a girl find help elsewhere, so be it...YOU MATTER MORE!