Heyy!
My name is Kylee and I am new to this site, but thought I'd join because it helps to have someone other then your SO to talk to about things.
If your anything like me, coping with depression can be very hard. A lot of 'what ifs' can come into mind. Negative thoughts, sleepless nights and sometimes lots and lots of crying.
Here are 5 things to remember:
1) Have Confidence in your relationship
If you don't have confidence that things will work out then most likely they won't. Always try and stay positive. A favorite country song of mine, "Love like Crazy" by Lee Brice, has a lyric that states "Don't outsmart your common sense." I use this lyric to help me when things are rough. I repeat to myself that I know my SO loves me and there is obviously a reason we were brought together. But also remember, don't be over confident, this can cause you to ignore problems and end up doing the opposite affect. Know where your relationship stands and don't question yourself.
Also, HAVE CONFIDENCE IN YOURSELF!
One thing I know I do a lot is focus on the girls my SO is with and judge and compare myself to them. It always makes me feel like shit in the end, and at one point he confronted me about it. If this is you, remember, if he didn't truly want to be with you, he wouldn't be going through with the LDR. Focus on what you have and what you're good at.
2) BE SOCIAL
Even if you don't want to, go out. Sometimes all you need is a night with the girls or guys. What me and my SO do is make sure we go out on the same night so that the other isn't stuck at home being miserable. Send each other a text every now and then to check in and make sure everything is going fine. Laugh, have fun, and live the life you can't being stuck in your room.
3) Be Spontaneous when you're together, but also when you're apart
As corny as it is.. it helps. My SO when we first started talking, did this thing, and he still does, where he would put a '-' or an '*' and write what he would be doing if he was with me. An example would be "-Wraps arms around you kissing cheek whispering- I love you <3." Yes, very corny, but it helps you to feel them even more. Being in an LDR means you need to feel a connection when together physically but also when you're apart. When you're together, do things. I remember at the lake my SO picked me up out of bed first thing in the morning and carried me and threw me in the water, I pulled him in and we started splashing each other. Doing things randomly helps keep things less predictable.
4) Be silly and childish
When me and my SO were together for the first time, we went and saw a movie one day. What was it? Why, Toy Story 3 of course. Stay in touch with your inner child and don't be afraid to act silly and just laugh at yourself. I can promise you after you get past that nervous stage being your true self will make the experience so much better. They're your best friend, you shouldn't hide yourself.
Another part to this I'll add is web-caming on windows live or skype. Me and my SO go to bed with our webcams still on so it's like we're sleeping together. Seeing and hearing them will help you feel like you're with them. Make fun of each other and even cry together. Have a heart to heart talk, a night on webcam for 3 hours can do amazing things to you.
5) Make memories
When you're together, go out and do things. Yes, staying home and cuddling and watching tv can be fun but when they leave, you will always wish you did more then that. Go on a date, introduce him/her to your friends, do something fun and TAKE PICTURES! One thing I know makes me smile is seeing the faces on people who doubted my relationship see the pictures we took together.
When it comes down to it, you have to be strong. You can't be completely dependent on your SO. I will end with one of my favorite LDR quotes:
"Distance is not for the fearful, it is for the bold. It's for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone, in exchange for a little time with the one they love. It's for those who know a good thing when they see it, even if they don't see it nearly enough."
Hope this helps.
My name is Kylee and I am new to this site, but thought I'd join because it helps to have someone other then your SO to talk to about things.
If your anything like me, coping with depression can be very hard. A lot of 'what ifs' can come into mind. Negative thoughts, sleepless nights and sometimes lots and lots of crying.
Here are 5 things to remember:
1) Have Confidence in your relationship
If you don't have confidence that things will work out then most likely they won't. Always try and stay positive. A favorite country song of mine, "Love like Crazy" by Lee Brice, has a lyric that states "Don't outsmart your common sense." I use this lyric to help me when things are rough. I repeat to myself that I know my SO loves me and there is obviously a reason we were brought together. But also remember, don't be over confident, this can cause you to ignore problems and end up doing the opposite affect. Know where your relationship stands and don't question yourself.
Also, HAVE CONFIDENCE IN YOURSELF!
One thing I know I do a lot is focus on the girls my SO is with and judge and compare myself to them. It always makes me feel like shit in the end, and at one point he confronted me about it. If this is you, remember, if he didn't truly want to be with you, he wouldn't be going through with the LDR. Focus on what you have and what you're good at.
2) BE SOCIAL
Even if you don't want to, go out. Sometimes all you need is a night with the girls or guys. What me and my SO do is make sure we go out on the same night so that the other isn't stuck at home being miserable. Send each other a text every now and then to check in and make sure everything is going fine. Laugh, have fun, and live the life you can't being stuck in your room.
3) Be Spontaneous when you're together, but also when you're apart
As corny as it is.. it helps. My SO when we first started talking, did this thing, and he still does, where he would put a '-' or an '*' and write what he would be doing if he was with me. An example would be "-Wraps arms around you kissing cheek whispering- I love you <3." Yes, very corny, but it helps you to feel them even more. Being in an LDR means you need to feel a connection when together physically but also when you're apart. When you're together, do things. I remember at the lake my SO picked me up out of bed first thing in the morning and carried me and threw me in the water, I pulled him in and we started splashing each other. Doing things randomly helps keep things less predictable.
4) Be silly and childish
When me and my SO were together for the first time, we went and saw a movie one day. What was it? Why, Toy Story 3 of course. Stay in touch with your inner child and don't be afraid to act silly and just laugh at yourself. I can promise you after you get past that nervous stage being your true self will make the experience so much better. They're your best friend, you shouldn't hide yourself.
Another part to this I'll add is web-caming on windows live or skype. Me and my SO go to bed with our webcams still on so it's like we're sleeping together. Seeing and hearing them will help you feel like you're with them. Make fun of each other and even cry together. Have a heart to heart talk, a night on webcam for 3 hours can do amazing things to you.
5) Make memories
When you're together, go out and do things. Yes, staying home and cuddling and watching tv can be fun but when they leave, you will always wish you did more then that. Go on a date, introduce him/her to your friends, do something fun and TAKE PICTURES! One thing I know makes me smile is seeing the faces on people who doubted my relationship see the pictures we took together.
When it comes down to it, you have to be strong. You can't be completely dependent on your SO. I will end with one of my favorite LDR quotes:
"Distance is not for the fearful, it is for the bold. It's for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone, in exchange for a little time with the one they love. It's for those who know a good thing when they see it, even if they don't see it nearly enough."
Hope this helps.
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