The ring: to wear or not to wear?

[MissShortie]

I'm with everyone else on this, I would really be hurt, my SO doesn't like rings but has said when he gets married he will get over it. For me it's like a reminder to you of your love for that other perosn and what you promised to that person, and for others to see that you are commited to your SO.

My dad couldn't wear his for years, they actually had to go out and buy him a new wedding ring because his ring size changed, but that never meant it left his body, he wore it on a chain around his neck.

[Silviar]

The only time I feel it's acceptable for someone to not wear their ring in a relationship is when their job would endanger the ring. For example, my stepdad has his ring on a leather thong around his neck because he's a mechanic.

If both parties are ok with it, that's one thing. But if one party feels the other should wear their ring while they get a pass 'just because', it'd be a big deal to me because I'd feel its hypocritical. It's important to me we both wear our symbol of commitment.

[tiffinnie]

I think that if your SO isn't into rings then he needs to compromise and wear it around his neck on a chain. THAT would be acceptable... at least to me... I'm not into rings either but when I get married I'll see how wearing a ring all the time feels to me and if I don't like it my plan is to just wear it on a chain.

[Micah]

I would be offended if my husband didn't wear a ring. I am not a jewelry person at all, but when I was happily married, I wore my ring proudly. If I ever get the opportunity to marry my SO or anyone else, I will wear my ring and expect him to do the same. I look at the ring as a symbol of our love and commitment, so I would be extremely offended if my husband did not wear his wedding ring.

[Stephanieeee]

Yup. Just like everybody else, I'd be pretty sad if he didn't wear his.

[michy]

Thanks to all of you for sharing, it means a lot

"One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,
One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them"
Hee, hee! Sorry, I just had a major nerd moment.

You aren't the only one... I seriously aaaaaalmost made that the title of this thread, LOL!

I'm a highly sentimental person, and I tend to get very attached to items and their meaning... I'm the kind of person who has a hard time throwing ANYthing away from my past, because the memories become attached to them. Both his wedding ring and mine will mean a lot to me... especially since we'll STILL be long distance after the wedding for at least 9 more months, and it would be nice to know he had that part of us with him each day.
I wasn't sure if I was being TOO sentimental over it by being kinda hurt if he didn't wear it, but from the replies it sounds like most of you share my thoughts on it.

Yet I'm also a practical person, and I know the ring has no bearing on how much he cares for me. When we talked about the ring, he said "But I'll be wearing it in my heart," and I know that is 100% true. That part of me is telling myself to just put a lid on any hurt feelings as he wears it/doesn't wear it as he likes, because at the end of the day, I know he loves me and he's proud of what we have.

I guess I'll have to decide whether to take the practical or the sentimental approach, lol

Thanks again

[Zephii]

I too would be hurt. Sure rings take a little getting used to and are damned annoying, but you have to suck it up, y'know?

[NikkiP]

heh my response would have been "oh sure, that's fine hunny, I'll wear mine to work but not when I go out with the girls. Sound good?"

[michy]

heh my response would have been "oh sure, that's fine hunny, I'll wear mine to work but not when I go out with the girls. Sound good?"

Lol!

[HighlandScott]

I always wanted a wedding ring from the moment we decided to marry. I truly value what it symbolises and what it says to the world but because I have never worn jewellery and generally dislike things like watches or chains hanging off me I’d sort of just decided I’d hate to wear a ring every day without giving it a chance- but that never changed the fact that I wanted one- to keep, treasure and wear on occasion. But I have now taken to the notion of wearing it all the time- I’ll be proud of my wife/marriage and I do want her and the world to know it- and I also changed the style of ring I’m going to buy to something I was happier with and would be more practical in daily life. I’ll be proud to put it on each day & I’m sure I’ll love wearing it and won’t even notice it once I’m used to it. I do stuff like mountaineering/rock climbing so I’ll definitely take it off for that.


By the way- I am the guy who’s lucky enough to be marrying Michy (the starter of this topic)
=============================================

Thanks to everyone here who has given their view- it’s been very interesting to see what others think of them- there are certainly strong feelings about them. I’ll throw a few comments into the ‘ring’ (without much order or coherence!)-

Weddings/rings are something that (until we decided to marry several months ago) I’d paid no attention to in life. In my personal experience- my father doesn’t have a wedding ring and I grew up believing it was something only worn by a women, however I’m now aware these days how common it is for men to wear them. I hadn’t really thought about the point someone raised here- of how it’d be weird if the wife didn’t wear a ring- I guess it’s because they always have worn a ring and feel way more obligated to do so than a man does. A woman in my office didn’t get a ring when she got married- neither her or her husband have one- they just don’t like wearing rings, simple as that.

Wedding rings have evolved through history – a man wearing a ring at all seems to have been done increasingly in modern times (that's not to say it hasn't been done for thousands of years), and I believe much more so in some countries (whether by a tradition, belief or just pure commercialism). There’s no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ but there seems to be some foundation as to why it’s widely thought to be acceptable that only the wife wear a ring. Much evidence points to World War 2 being a catalyst for men going away to wear a ring make public their commitment to their wife by the wearing of a public symbol that declared that commitment to all. Others may claim it started in ancient Egypt. In any case- the main thing is the 2 people that love each other and want to get married. Rings then take a meaning unique to us all.

Anyway…I’ll stop babbling on!

[Casey]

I gave my SO a commitment ring a couple of years back, and he wore it for awhile. He couldn't wear it to work, as the men there are only allowed to wear wedding rings. So I was fine with him not wearing it to work. For at least two or three years though, it has sat on his dresser. He reckons he needs to have it resized. I reckon he's full of shit. Especially since it sits next to the bracelet/chain I bought him, and I was going to pay to have it resized (but he says he wants to lose weight not have it resized).
My dad never wore his ring either. I think it got too small for him too (or that was his excuse) so he left it on the dash of his car. Then he sold his car.... and forgot to grab his ring.... and didn't realise for a couple of months.... Mum reckons she doesn't care, but I think she does but doesn't want to tell anyone...

So if you choose not to wear your ring, make sure you know where it is. But I would personally prefer my husband to wear his ring.

[Sano]

I'll admit it, I'd be pissed if he didnt wear his and extra pissed if he expected me to wear mine.

[michy]

But I have now taken to the notion of wearing it all the time- I’ll be proud of my wife/marriage and I do want her and the world to know it- and I also changed the style of ring I’m going to buy to something I was happier with and would be more practical in daily life. I’ll be proud to put it on each day & I’m sure I’ll love wearing it and won’t even notice it once I’m used to it. I do stuff like mountaineering/rock climbing so I’ll definitely take it off for that.

Glad you popped in for a comment- and I'm glad to hear that your thinking has taken a bit of a turn! I admit it would be my preference that you wear it, it just seems... right. It definitely struck me as strange to hear you'd probably not wear it regularly, but then, you make a good point about how it all comes down to what we see around us and in my immediate world, there's a pretty high expectation that both parties would wear the ring!

I do think, regardless of whether a person is used to wearing a ring, it does just kinda become part of you rather quickly.

I am definitely NOT going to wear my ring... on those days when I'm out mountaineering/rock climbing with you!

[michy]

My dad never wore his ring either. I think it got too small for him too (or that was his excuse) so he left it on the dash of his car. Then he sold his car.... and forgot to grab his ring.... and didn't realise for a couple of months....

Oh, no! And a shame that whoever bought the car from him didn't try to return it... :/

[LostInLove]

Just a suggestion, if he's not big on rings maybe he could get something else? Because of my dad's job he couldn't wear a ring, so he got a small gold chain and wore that all the time instead. It's the symbolism that's important right?