To change or not to change?

[kymccloud]

Let me explain a little. I have always been raised to appreciate my heritage. My family is big on the fact that we are McCloud's and that we descend from a long line of MacLeod's from Scotland. Anyways, I would like to keep my last name when I marry. I'm not very traditional in the sense that I don't want to take my SO's last name. However, I got extremely lucky. My SO doesn't care if I take his last name, and he is perfectly willing to take my last name.


So my question is:

To change or not to change? Would your SO take your last name? Or you their's?

[tiffinnie]

Ok... My parents were cruel humans and gave me a hyphenated last name... BOTH of theirs... so my plan when I get married is to drop my mothers maiden name and keep my fathers name and add on my SOs name!

so I would go from Morris-McHenry to McHenry-M***** (I don't mind posting my name but I never asked my SO if it was ok to post his...)

You could always do that! That way you won't lose your last name and he won't lose his. I mean... I think its really awesome that he is willing to take yours! Not many guys would do that.

[mllebamako]

To change or not to change? Would your SO take your last name? Or you their's?

To change!!

I love my last name, even though it's loooongggg and I always have to spell it for people. I am proud that it shows my heritage and is unique. But I will happily give that baby up to take on my SO's last name. I personally love the idea of sharing a name with him...of becoming family on many different levels.
Plus, I get to take on a new, fun name that is much shorter (but I'll still have to spell ) Then I can have fun confusing people when they hear my name and assume I'm African and get a great surprise when they meet me!! (Lastly, his last name means 'lion', that's just cool)

[LadyMarchHare]

Ironically, my SO's last name is the American form of my last name, Schneider, which is German. So in a sense I wouldn't really be changing last names as they both mean the same thing.

Personally I find it odd that people marry and keep separate names but that's me. If you don't want to lose your name, then don't change it. So long as the SO's cool with it I don't see a problem. But me, I'm taking his last name mainly because I'm tired of people mispronouncing my surname.

[milaya]

I'm taking my SO's name.
I don't have a reason not to... I more have reasons why I want to. First of all, because it's like a childhood dream for me to get a Japanese last name XD Mrs. Kayashima is pretty cool XD
Second of all, my current last name is my father's last name... and he and I have a really bad relationship, so it might be mean, but I'm looking forward to replacing that name.

[kymccloud]

It's not that I don't want to take his last name. If he was against taking mine or really wanted me to take his I probably would. It just that I prefer not to give up my last name, and he is willing to take mine. Trust me it is going to be interesting in a couple of years when we break the news to his parents. I'm not sure if they will have a problem with it... I know his grandparents will. It's our choice not theirs.

[lucybelle]

Not changing mine. I was born with my name and I'll die with it. Plus, in Hispanic culture, the females don't change their last names. The children get both last names tacked on the end. That's why most Hispanics have really long names! I also like it because it makes it easy to track heritage. But yeah, it's a cultural difference.

[Silviar]

I think it's great you're both ok with it. As a professional writer, I have decided to always use my maiden name with my writing as I want to leave my family's name as a mark on the world - once I change my name, my family's last name dies with me.

When I got married to my first husband, I stressed and went back and forth until I finally decided to hyphenate my name. I didn't want to lose my family name and be in his family, quite bluntly speaking.

Now, having divorced and being on the other side, I realized the reason I didn't want to take his name is that I didn't want to be aligned with his family - I didn't want to change clans, which should have told me a lot, but I was in love and stupid. Now with my boyfriend, who's freely stated that he was fine if I never took his name, I realized that I truly wanted to take his last name. So when we get married someday, I'll take his last name legally.

[garnet]

In my first marriage (11 years long) I kept my name. I am the last person in my family, (everyone has died that could have had children) and it was important to me that the name live on, at least through me, if not future kids. Plus I didn't like my ex's last name (just being honest... it was a terrible name), and his family and I were at war. He refused to consider changing his name, or joining names.

This time though, I did take Rane's name. It still bothers me about my own name dying, but I'm also proud to become a member of his family, and happy to share it with him. I also appreciate that all options were on the table with him. If I wanted to keep my name, he wouldn't have given me the hell my ex did. He would have considered hyphenation, or even taking my name.

I'm all for a woman keeping her name if it's important to her for any reason though.

[tiffinnie]

Not changing mine. I was born with my name and I'll die with it. Plus, in Hispanic culture, the females don't change their last names. The children get both last names tacked on the end. That's why most Hispanics have really long names! I also like it because it makes it easy to track heritage. But yeah, it's a cultural difference.

I'm not hispanic but my parents did that to me! and my SO is brazilian and his parents did that to him... now he has 4 and I have 2... but I'm only willing to take the last one... is that weird?

just random comparisons...

[kymccloud]

once I change my name, my family's last name dies with me.

I have one male cousin with my last name and he doesn't even have a gf so the chances of him marrying and having kids anytime soon is pretty slim. Mind you I still have a few years before my SO and I will get married and a few more years until kids. Its still nice to think that if I have a son he'll have my last name

[Stephanieeee]

The whole name issue has never really bothered me. I'm completely okay with taking his name. It even has a better flow to it then my name now.
Stephanie Renee Hylton < Stephanie Renee Ramsey

[hxcbreakdance]

I personally love my last name and if I change it that ends our family name but I've always wanted to change my name when I got married. It's cool when people don't but for me I just love the idea of having his last name once we get married

[Trethsparr]

Hyphenating your names could be a good solution if you want to carry on the tradition of your family name.

As for myself, I'm taking my SO's last name. However, my maiden name and my SO's names are different but they exactly rhyme. So for that reason, I was tempted to hyphenate just because I thought it would be hilarious. I'll do that on Facebook, but legally I'll just go with his.

Interestingly enough, growing up I had considered keeping my last name if I married because I like it, but the rhyme will suit me just fine.

[lucybelle]

I'm not hispanic but my parents did that to me! and my SO is brazilian and his parents did that to him... now he has 4 and I have 2... but I'm only willing to take the last one... is that weird?

Actually most Hispanics just use the "first" of their 2 (or more!) last names. It usually goes like this: First Name, Father's Last Name, Mother's Last Name. So something like Luis Diaz Gonzalez, then of course you could add in a middle name: Luis Alejandro Diaz Gonzalez, then you could add on the "from such and such": Luis Alejandro Diaz Gonzalez de la concha. haha They can really go on forever! But he would probably just go by Luis Diaz.