facebook has kinda been an issue for us. I know its just a stupid website but I think that why people do or do not do things on there have bigger motives or reasons. From the beginning of our relationship Jeff had never wanted to list us as in a relationship on there. It kinda struck me as a red flag but his reasonings behind it made some sense. (people use facebook to show off. hey look at me im in a relationship now. and havin to explain to extended people bout our relationship. things like that) I was able to let it go. he wasnt listed as single it was just left blank.
Other issues have been the things posted on his wall by girls. At first I ignored it because I didnt wanna be that crazy girlfriend that flips out about stuff on there. Well after a little bit I couldnt not say anything so I asked him about it. He said shes a friend and she always flirts and it means nothing and hes told her to stop because he doesnt appreciate it and hes sure her boyfriend doesnt either. I was really happy that he said something and I told him how much I appreciated it and if she didnt stop I might have to say something. Well it stopped for a little bit then she said something else and I just couldnt help myself. I wrote her a message asking what was goin on between her and Jeff. She said nothing they were just friends. I replied back sayin that it seems like more on her part and she assured me that shes just a friend. I told her that I dont appreciate some of the comments she leaves him and that I know hes told her to back off before. She just replied back have a nice day. When Jeff found out he wasnt very happy with me that I had messaged her. I can understand to a certian extent but i just couldnt help myself. Hes my guy and I wanted her to know that.
Its been a like a month or so since that but now somthing else has come up. For Valentines day I wrote him a very sweet comment. I know I could just text him or call him and told him but I think its sweet to write somethin on there. I know when ive gotten things its made my day brighter. Well I never heard anything back from him on there so I checked it to see if it had worked because I had posted it from my phone and sometimes it doesnt work. Well when I was on there I saw that he had posted back to another girl who had wished him happy valentines day. (not the same girl who was postin comments from before) I know shes a friend but it upset me that he responded to her and not to mine. I sent him a text asking if he saw mine(knowing he had) he said yes it was very sweet. So I went on to push the subject more because I was hurt. He ended up gettin all pissed tellin me its stupid facebook and so on and have fun at my cousins party(it was a bday party for my 11yr old cousin we were goin roller skating haha) so I just dropped the subject and figured when we both calm down well talk bout it later.
Later that night we were supposed to have our valentines date nite and open our packages we got from each other and watch a movie. Well by the time i got home around 4 I still hadnt heard anything from him so I gave him a call no answer. Maybe like 15 mins later he called back and I could tell he was just in a bad mood. He wasnt very happy for our date night which me and him both were all week. He said he was goin hiking with his friend kyle and wed have date nite later. that kinda pissed me off. I wanted the whole night to talk about things open our packages and watch a movie. but I knew hikin might help him cool down and relax. in the end our night turned out ok. We were able to talk bout it and expressed my feelings bout the whole facebook thing and thing seemed to be fine and he said he might just delete it anyways beacuse we have this website and the phone. I said its his choice but that i like him havin facebook he has other pics on there that i dont have that i like to look at and I think its another way for us to communicate.
Since then Ive seen him and another girl posting quotes back and forth to each other and its just seemed strange. I havent brought that up to him because weve been having to deal with other things that seemed more important. He found out on Monday that hes not goin to be able to come here at all for spring break for us to meet. this will b our third trip weve had to cancel to meet because of things gettin in the way. we both were really hurt and crushed. Well tuesday morning we were texting back and forth I was throwing some ideas out there bout ways we could still make some what of a trip happen and he just seemed so like whatever about it. then he texts me
him: this isnt going to work is it?
me: the trip? or me and you?
him: both
me: the road trip could wrk. me and u will wrk only as long as we both wanna try . . .are you having doubts bout us babe?
him: it just seems like this trying to make our schedualed meeting is always going to go wrong
me: i dont think that means we should give up on us tho. do u?
him: i just wonder if we will ever be in a stiuation to where we can make it happen. i mean after we meet in may r u comin down regularly and visce versa? can u afford regualar trips and save for a house?
me: yes id be able to make regualar trips i will make them happen i want nothing more then to b in a relationship with you and make it wrk i think ur amazing and dont want to let you go babe. and i will still be able to save for a house. im saving for a h ouse and our trip now i have two diff savings accounts. . . will you be able do to those things?
him: yeah but ill b less flexible bc of my clients but i should be able to
me: andyou want to do this? i know i want to b with youjed and do this. i think you are amazing and worth fighting for
him: i want it too i just want to be realistic
me: i know we need to be. realistically do you believe it can wrk>
him: ill believe more once we see each other in may
Me: do you have doubts because wever never met in person
him: yea and we havent
me: ive had those before too. how long have you had those thoughts babe>
him: alot recently
me: what started it?
him: just time and things not working out
me: you didnt meet someone who's makin you have doubts about us did you?
him: No! trust me its hard enough maintaing one relationship right now.
me: just a question babe. do you wanna keep talkin bout this now babe?
him: i cant now honestly
me: kk babe. I love you jeff from the bottom of my heart and im willin to do anything to make this wrk
him: i love you too
through out the day we text and things were ok. Later on that night we talked and about our conversation. I was so worried he was ready to leave and not work on things. He said no he doesnt want to leave and that I had just caught him at a weak point. we had a nice long coversation and things seemed to be good. we talked bout still meetin in march for his spring break and not waitin till may when hes out of school for a break. and he helped me because i was stressing beacuase i felt like i was the only one tryin to make this trip happen and he was bein so reasurring and helpful and just amazing he stopped to really be there for me.
well the next morning i left a comment on his facebook just tellin him how much i loved him and how much i appreciated him being there for me last nite. well later on in the day i get a txt from him saying he has to delete his facebook because his practicum site said since hes seein patients he cant have one. well i get that and understand that compeletly. but later on i was on facebook and found out that he didnt delete his facebook he just deleted me off of it. WTF? I was so pissed off. I didnt want to text him about it so i waited till after wrk to call. no answer. i know he was wrkin too. then i waited till after he was done with class. called again still no answer. tried again a half hr later still no answer. so by 10 i figured we werent goin to talk that night maybe not ever. so i sent a text saying "you lied to me jeff, you didnt delete your facebook you just deleted me off you profile. . ."
i never got a response back from him. ;( im so pissed i know he has to have deleted me off because he doesnt want someone on there too see it. I honestly think its that new girl hes been sending quotes back and forth too. last nite i was so mad i thought it would b easy to just move on. because he lied. but i had dreams all night of him callin me and apologizin. i woke up checkin my phone thinkin it was real. it wasnt. I tried goin back to sleep all i could do is think of him and how amazing he is or thought he was. I guess the right thing to do is move on? never call or text him agian? is that the right thing tho? im soo pissed right now but i still love him so much and want us to wrk it out. i dont know if we can. i dont know if hes willin too.
sorry this is soo long. i just needed to put it out there. get it all out. and see what others have to say. i dont really have anyone to tell about this. i dont really wanna tell anyone i know i dont wanna here well now you can find a boy close to you.
well if you have any advice to as what i should do now id greatly appreciate it. and thank you if youve made it through readin this whole thing.
Other issues have been the things posted on his wall by girls. At first I ignored it because I didnt wanna be that crazy girlfriend that flips out about stuff on there. Well after a little bit I couldnt not say anything so I asked him about it. He said shes a friend and she always flirts and it means nothing and hes told her to stop because he doesnt appreciate it and hes sure her boyfriend doesnt either. I was really happy that he said something and I told him how much I appreciated it and if she didnt stop I might have to say something. Well it stopped for a little bit then she said something else and I just couldnt help myself. I wrote her a message asking what was goin on between her and Jeff. She said nothing they were just friends. I replied back sayin that it seems like more on her part and she assured me that shes just a friend. I told her that I dont appreciate some of the comments she leaves him and that I know hes told her to back off before. She just replied back have a nice day. When Jeff found out he wasnt very happy with me that I had messaged her. I can understand to a certian extent but i just couldnt help myself. Hes my guy and I wanted her to know that.
Its been a like a month or so since that but now somthing else has come up. For Valentines day I wrote him a very sweet comment. I know I could just text him or call him and told him but I think its sweet to write somethin on there. I know when ive gotten things its made my day brighter. Well I never heard anything back from him on there so I checked it to see if it had worked because I had posted it from my phone and sometimes it doesnt work. Well when I was on there I saw that he had posted back to another girl who had wished him happy valentines day. (not the same girl who was postin comments from before) I know shes a friend but it upset me that he responded to her and not to mine. I sent him a text asking if he saw mine(knowing he had) he said yes it was very sweet. So I went on to push the subject more because I was hurt. He ended up gettin all pissed tellin me its stupid facebook and so on and have fun at my cousins party(it was a bday party for my 11yr old cousin we were goin roller skating haha) so I just dropped the subject and figured when we both calm down well talk bout it later.
Later that night we were supposed to have our valentines date nite and open our packages we got from each other and watch a movie. Well by the time i got home around 4 I still hadnt heard anything from him so I gave him a call no answer. Maybe like 15 mins later he called back and I could tell he was just in a bad mood. He wasnt very happy for our date night which me and him both were all week. He said he was goin hiking with his friend kyle and wed have date nite later. that kinda pissed me off. I wanted the whole night to talk about things open our packages and watch a movie. but I knew hikin might help him cool down and relax. in the end our night turned out ok. We were able to talk bout it and expressed my feelings bout the whole facebook thing and thing seemed to be fine and he said he might just delete it anyways beacuse we have this website and the phone. I said its his choice but that i like him havin facebook he has other pics on there that i dont have that i like to look at and I think its another way for us to communicate.
Since then Ive seen him and another girl posting quotes back and forth to each other and its just seemed strange. I havent brought that up to him because weve been having to deal with other things that seemed more important. He found out on Monday that hes not goin to be able to come here at all for spring break for us to meet. this will b our third trip weve had to cancel to meet because of things gettin in the way. we both were really hurt and crushed. Well tuesday morning we were texting back and forth I was throwing some ideas out there bout ways we could still make some what of a trip happen and he just seemed so like whatever about it. then he texts me
him: this isnt going to work is it?
me: the trip? or me and you?
him: both
me: the road trip could wrk. me and u will wrk only as long as we both wanna try . . .are you having doubts bout us babe?
him: it just seems like this trying to make our schedualed meeting is always going to go wrong
me: i dont think that means we should give up on us tho. do u?
him: i just wonder if we will ever be in a stiuation to where we can make it happen. i mean after we meet in may r u comin down regularly and visce versa? can u afford regualar trips and save for a house?
me: yes id be able to make regualar trips i will make them happen i want nothing more then to b in a relationship with you and make it wrk i think ur amazing and dont want to let you go babe. and i will still be able to save for a house. im saving for a h ouse and our trip now i have two diff savings accounts. . . will you be able do to those things?
him: yeah but ill b less flexible bc of my clients but i should be able to
me: andyou want to do this? i know i want to b with youjed and do this. i think you are amazing and worth fighting for
him: i want it too i just want to be realistic
me: i know we need to be. realistically do you believe it can wrk>
him: ill believe more once we see each other in may
Me: do you have doubts because wever never met in person
him: yea and we havent
me: ive had those before too. how long have you had those thoughts babe>
him: alot recently
me: what started it?
him: just time and things not working out
me: you didnt meet someone who's makin you have doubts about us did you?
him: No! trust me its hard enough maintaing one relationship right now.
me: just a question babe. do you wanna keep talkin bout this now babe?
him: i cant now honestly
me: kk babe. I love you jeff from the bottom of my heart and im willin to do anything to make this wrk
him: i love you too
through out the day we text and things were ok. Later on that night we talked and about our conversation. I was so worried he was ready to leave and not work on things. He said no he doesnt want to leave and that I had just caught him at a weak point. we had a nice long coversation and things seemed to be good. we talked bout still meetin in march for his spring break and not waitin till may when hes out of school for a break. and he helped me because i was stressing beacuase i felt like i was the only one tryin to make this trip happen and he was bein so reasurring and helpful and just amazing he stopped to really be there for me.
well the next morning i left a comment on his facebook just tellin him how much i loved him and how much i appreciated him being there for me last nite. well later on in the day i get a txt from him saying he has to delete his facebook because his practicum site said since hes seein patients he cant have one. well i get that and understand that compeletly. but later on i was on facebook and found out that he didnt delete his facebook he just deleted me off of it. WTF? I was so pissed off. I didnt want to text him about it so i waited till after wrk to call. no answer. i know he was wrkin too. then i waited till after he was done with class. called again still no answer. tried again a half hr later still no answer. so by 10 i figured we werent goin to talk that night maybe not ever. so i sent a text saying "you lied to me jeff, you didnt delete your facebook you just deleted me off you profile. . ."
i never got a response back from him. ;( im so pissed i know he has to have deleted me off because he doesnt want someone on there too see it. I honestly think its that new girl hes been sending quotes back and forth too. last nite i was so mad i thought it would b easy to just move on. because he lied. but i had dreams all night of him callin me and apologizin. i woke up checkin my phone thinkin it was real. it wasnt. I tried goin back to sleep all i could do is think of him and how amazing he is or thought he was. I guess the right thing to do is move on? never call or text him agian? is that the right thing tho? im soo pissed right now but i still love him so much and want us to wrk it out. i dont know if we can. i dont know if hes willin too.
sorry this is soo long. i just needed to put it out there. get it all out. and see what others have to say. i dont really have anyone to tell about this. i dont really wanna tell anyone i know i dont wanna here well now you can find a boy close to you.
well if you have any advice to as what i should do now id greatly appreciate it. and thank you if youve made it through readin this whole thing.
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