Are you and your SO from two different cultures?

[lshay]

I love to learn about other cultures and it's especially interesting how couples from two different cultures can seemingly make it work.

Personally, I find the differences part of the ATTRACTION. Things are never boring because there is always something new to learn about each other.

I am American (live in the southeast) and he is Brazilian (Rio de Janeiro). Now of course I am biased as to why I think Brazilians are wonderful (hehe), but even before we were a couple, I could only find myself being attracted to Brazilian guys! This is a curse and a blessing at the same time. And there aren't any Brazilian guys in my town...trust me..I looked! HAHAHA A curse because well..I live about 4000 miles and a 10 hour plane trip from Brazil. A blessing because in the 5th largest country in the world, and in a city of 6 million (Rio), I found him.

I am still trying to learn Portuguese which I was doing before we met. Thankfully he is fluent in English as well as French, German, and Spanish although I think for now, I'll take it one language at a time. But I want to be able to speak to him in his native tongue one day. His family is great so far, I've met them once and they were so wonderful to me, I cried when I hugged them to leave.

For me, the hardest part of dating a Brazilian guy is the culture of how freely they flirt, hook up, and kiss in Brazil. Brazilian guys are not known to be faithful and most of them aren't, even any Brazilian guy will tell you this. But they ARE out there. Just like with any guy, you have to consider them as an individual as well and there are Brazilian guys who have great morals and values still. Luckily, I found one of them.

So tell us what are your differences in culture with your SO and if you have faced any challenges due to this as well as some great things about this difference.

[Miramaid]

He is American, I am Russian. We do not live too far away because I am in the US going to school right now, but we are still on a distance. He is half African-American, well and I am fully white, he is also in military and I have never dated a military man before - they are different. HE went to Iraq, I have never seen a war (and hopefully never will), he comes from a single parent home and he was not close with his mom and she died 10 years ago, so his family is only his sister...I come from a big family where there is no divorce and everyone sticks together (that is our major difference and a challenge, because we deal with relationship difficulties in a completely different way and we show affection differently etc.) We are very different, but yet we have a LOT in common and I just love him very much, I care about him, and I hope to give him a son some day.

[sabby64]

Well, since back home we're two blocks away from eachother... We're pretty much from the same culture XD The only real difference is my familys screwed up and broken and his is happy and picture perfect.

I'm technically a Canadian aboriginal but it was never brought into our family, my parents wanted to keep it out of the house. So there's no cultural aspects of that in my family.

[Butterfly]

This doesn't relate to me and my current SO, but my ex and I did have cultural differences.

He was Lithuanian and I am American. (He was born in Lithuania and raised in America, but his family was still very much into their own culture. This was not an LDR.) I will say, there were many aspects of having cultural differences that I loved. In fact, that was part of the initial attraction. I loved that he spoke another language fluently. Hell, it's always sexy to hear a guy speak a foreign language! He was a great guy and to this day I have nothing bad to say about him as a person. I have been lucky in life to have such great relationships.

But the cultural/language barrier did cause a lot of problems. Every family party I was invited to, I couldn't understand a DAMN thing. Sure, I caught on a bit, but not nearly enough to be a contributing part of discussion. I am a big family person and I thrive on those feelings of bonding with each others families. Also, as much as his immediate family would help to make me feel welcome, it never seemed to be enough. There was also always that lingering feeling that his family wanted him to be with a Lithuanian instead of me.

Obviously, ultimately, it didn't work out. I don't blame the cultural differences at all.. There were plenty more problems involved. But I just thought I'd share my story. I know how much of a struggle it can be to adjust to different cultures, but if it is the right person for you, it's so worth it.

[Elissa]

Kinda I guess. She's from the South, so it's a bit different.

[DarkSolitary]

I guess. I grew up in a typical American household that was open minded and lax and he is Mexican and was raised by a mother who is very strict and very religious. He grew up pretty open minded though despite the strictness of his mother, his way of rebelling against her I guess. Hell, he still is rebelling against her. Even I'M rebelling against her and she's not even my mother :P But that's a different story...

[nicole]

Well he's American and I'm English, you'd think it would be easier for us, but there is a sort of language barrier where one of us is going "Errrrm What now?" more him then me, but I get really confused sometimes too!

I have a lot more slang which I don't realise is slang sometimes, and I'm slowly learning not to skip words in my sentences like I do at home. I feel sorry for him, my Yorkshire accent and dialect goes off the charts when I'm around my family, so he won't understand a lot =/ I'll try my best anyway! Thankfully he thinks my english mannerisms are cute! Like when I got annoyed America doesn't have a proper Pancake day (not IHOP pancake day- the traditional 'Shrove Tuesday") So I made him english-style pancake- he definitely liked learning that part of my culture- he won't eat American pancakes anymore lol

Yesterday I got an email from my professor whilst I was talking to him and I said "You're having a giraffe aren't you?" and my SO nearly died laughing. I meant "you're joking" but apparently I've been back in England to long where that phrase is normal It's all fun though, more laughs come out with the confusion; you learn something everyday!

[lucybelle]

He's from Costa Rica and I'm from USA (well I guess if we go on ancestry my mom's side is Cuban, but we certainly weren't raised that way unless you count eating beans and rice all the time! hehe). Fortunately, we met while I was living in CR and learning Spanish. So I'm fluent in Spanish (mas o menos!) and he's fluent in English. One of the things I love so much about being with my SO is that I get to learn new things every day! Whether it's a word, a phrase, about a festival, anything. I love the latin american culture. For a while I wondered if I was in love with the idea that's he's Latin, or if I really loved him. When I realized that I loved him because of all of those things, it made me feel better. I love that he's into PDA (even though it makes me feel super uncomfortable), I love that he knows how to dance, I love that he puts gel in his hair and wears tight pants (cosito RRRRICO!), I love that he's way too in love with me and constantly compliments me, and I love that he speaks Spanish.

When I met his family I felt a little awkward. Even though here I'm considered to have "brown" hair, down there I'm straight blonde. So I was worried they wouldn't like me. But they loved me. I just want to learn the language better so I can participate in conversations with them. Right now I can understand everything that's being said, I just can't think quick enough to be involved in the conversation.

[Silviar]

I'm American, and my SO is Australian. You'd think that being both English-speaking countries, we'd have much in common, but we don't! Australian culture is a weird mix of English/American/their own things, and so it means you never know which way the wind's going to blow with everyday things like the education system, or how the court system works.

In addition to that, the Australian slang is completely wild - I love it, and sometimes my SO will say the strangest things, which occasionally requires a translation into American English. I've started picking up some of it though. XD

[lucybelle]

Haha I can totally relate to Silviar and Nicole! When traveling I've met lots of Aussies and Brits and geeze louise there would be times when I would be so lost! I traveled with a girl from Scotland for a few weeks and she would say words I didn't know, then use other words I didn't know to explain them. haha Like "I'm such a numpty" a whaaaa?

Then the Aussies I met called it "talking in Aussie". When they get going... they really get going! I liked not being able to understand them because it made me feel better when I couldn't understand Spanish speakers. If I can't even understand people speaking my OWN language...

[Enric]

Yes we are. We don't share any tradition or festival at all, we don't share religion, our cuisines are very different, our alphabet are very differents, and the only words that we share are neologisms.

[tiffinnie]

AH! This made me smile! I'm from California and my SO is from Brazil too (Sao Paulo). I want to learn Portuguese but my attention span is garbage compared to his. He is a suit and tie and everything is about being logical and responsible and all that "business man" type stuff... while I'm the complete opposite. I completely agree with the idea that things are never boring because there is always that little something new that you find. The great part about this is that when I have doubts about him being faithful (I've only questioned it once because of something he said that I didn't understand because he had a poor choice in words) I simply ask him and get it out in the open right then and there and he discusses things with me and we agree on how this relationship structure is set. We agree that being faithful means no sleeping with, no kissing, no sexual anything with someone else... I'm not one to flirt with someone to begin with, but being Brazilian, he flirts A LOT with more than just me, and I understand thats a part of who he is, I wouldn't change it, I actually enjoy knowing that he flirts with other girls and that they want him because in the end he loves me, not them, he wants to be with me, not them... We've been at this for almost 5 months (talking every day all day) and I would choose him over an American boy any damn day, the way he talks (he learned english from a Brit. bwahahaa) and his overly formal gestures and words drives me insane. He says he loves that I'm his exact opposite...

I draw pictures and I'm a photographer, I read YA Novels and wear sweat pants and play hide-and-seek in department stores still at almost 21 years old... I collect childish things like Tigger and Nightmare Before Christmas (on an obsessive level) and I don't have a normal steady job or schedule and I'm completely illogical but some how he thinks all of that is the best thing in the world, like girls there don't do the things that I do and he loves that I do all of that because he has never seen it before and its refreshing in the environment he is in...

we encountered one really amusing difference in how we say things last night
I said something about getting butterflies
he wanted to know what "getting butterflies" was... and I've never in my life been asked to explain that... therefore I didn't know how... and he found out what it was in his language and it translated out to be "a cold in the stomach" because its a little like shivering internally... and I laughed sooo hard because I never would have thought about it like that.

[tiffinnie]

Yesterday I got an email from my professor whilst I was talking to him and I said "You're having a giraffe aren't you?" and my SO nearly died laughing. I meant "you're joking" but apparently I've been back in England to long where that phrase is normal It's all fun though, more laughs come out with the confusion; you learn something everyday!

Awesome! I about died laughing when I read it...

[OliveOyl]

I am American (La Gringa) and my SO is indigenous Mexican culturally, I would say he is more Mexican than his indigenous side, although there is still a good part of that tradition. Some hardships we have:

-Language: I am not fluent in Spanish, he is not fluent in English... but we both can understand the written language really well. And, We are both trying to learn eachother's language. Funny thing, is that we met in Mexico while I was studying an indigenous language, which happens to be his, my dialect is different but he can understand some things.

-I also tend to agree with the Brazilian example, Mexicans are not "known" for being faithful, and are also very flirtatious. He has a lot of pretty female friends, and there a lot of besitos and te quiero muchos floating around amongst his group of friends. But then he explained to me the 3 "levels" of love in Spanish, which made a lot of sense and...made me understand why pretty girls were telling him they loved him... jaja.

-His (mine too) friends and family, while as supportive as they thought they could be, thought we were both out of our minds for dating someone 1700 miles away. Not until recently, one of the most outspoken cousins of his starting calling me prima

-We aren't really dating, he wants to formally asks me to be his girlfriend which is just so awesome! I've been in love before...BUT this is the first time I know what it feels like to have such strong feelings reciprocated, which makes everything sooo amazingly awesome!

[lshay]

Tiffinnie...that is too funny! I am a photographer too! LOL

Brazilian boyfriends and photographers...must be something to this...haha