hmmmm what can I do?

[nicole]

Well lately I have been very busy with schoolwork- I'm in my final year and have a huuuuge project to do, as well as work for my normal classes. This week has been especially busy, coursework, my half-way report for my dissertation and 2 presentations were all due thursday/friday. I got them all done on time to a good standard, but on the way.... I've sort of put my SO to the side.

We normally talk in the mornings, but these last 2 weeks, I've had to not talk as the experiments I''m running take 5 hours to do- if I wait till after I've talked to my SO, it means I have to walk home in the dark by myself, and it's dangerous round here. And yesterday, I didn't talk to him again in the morning; I got up super early so I could get my report in on time. I was so exhausted by the afternoon I fell asleep, and didn't wake up till late- like really late. I managed to still talk to him for an hour, but I was completely out of it the whole time- the stress and exhaustion finally caught up with me I guess....

My SO has been great and wonderfully understanding throughout all this, and hasn't had any complaints, but I still feel bad for messing up "our time"- we need all the time we can get! I would like to do something to say thank you for being so great and supportive, but I don't know what I can do for him, bearing in mind he will be here in 2 weeks, and the post will be slow this time of year, I can't really send him anything =/ any ideas??

[Cucaratcha]

Simply tell him what you have told us !

I wish I could be as patient as your boyfriend, but when my SO doesn't speak to me, even if she has good reasons, I get "mad", because even if I'm busy, she's always the most important thing

[ioanna]

hey there

first of all, courage with your studies! it can get pretty overwhelming... but looking at the bright side, things will be over soon, AND you'll have the lovely reward of a visit

i think it's very sweet that you want to do something for him to thank him for being such a sport... if i remember correctly he's in the US right? you could surprise him with a gift and a nice note delivered to his place, like an amazon purchase or so the possibilities are endless depending on what he likes, and your budget... i had "mille bornes" (the childhood game he always wanted but never had) sent to my SO, a bit over a year ago. it was just a card game, cost practically nothing, but made him oh so happy.... there are also books, cds, dvds....

how about an Etch-a-sketch?

[Cucaratcha]

Or a LFAD telegram

[Silviar]

You could always give him something when he arrives. That mr order some flowers sent to him... then you don't have to worry about the post.

[LadyMarchHare]

I know my SO feels the same way that our time is so screwed up and has been for months. I'm glad your SO has been understanding throughout all of this as it's a stressful time and I believe he knows that. Maybe a handmade thank you card with a little gift (or even a kiss)? Something simple to tell him you appreciate how he handled it and that you really do love him.

[Cucaratcha]

Handmade things are the ones I appreciate the most

[LostInLove]

It's great your SO has been understanding. If you want to send him something now that doesn't require the post, maybe write him a poem or send him a photo of you? Otherwise, I agree that something handmade would be great. Maybe cookies, if he likes sweets?

[BabyGund]

Simply tell him what you have told us !

I wish I could be as patient as your boyfriend, but when my SO doesn't speak to me, even if she has good reasons, I get "mad", because even if I'm busy, she's always the most important thing

THIS!

My SO and I just had this happen! He's also in school, although he's the professor! But he has been extremely busy the last few weeks, with grading papers, as well as some behind the scenes maneuvering in his department. And because of that, he hasn't been able to speak to or even text me. And I got mad and we didn't speak to each other for a few days. But after we cooled off, he did send me flowers to apologize. But now I have a better idea of what to expect when he is teaching.

[nicole]

Thank you for the replies guys

Cucaratcha and BabyGund: My SO is the most important thing for me too- but with our situation as it is, I HAVE to put my school work in priority. I need to get the top grades to get into grad school where he is, so if I slip up, it will make it much more difficult to end the distance, we'd probably have to get married a lot sooner then we expected; not necessarily a bad thing, but we want to try do this on our own terms first!

I agree spending time is very important, but I truly believe in a relationship, you have to think for the good of 2 people, not just yourself, not just for the other person, but for the both of you as a whole. If this means cutting down on a few hours of communication in the short term, as much as it royally sucks, it's better for us in the long term, which is what I am seeking to protect. I do not love him any less, quite the opposite, I miss him like crazy all the time, and I really hate mornings I can't speak to him, it's just right now I can't just focus on him.

ionna- yes he is in the US thank you for your suggestions. I did consider amazon too, it's just WHAT to get him. all my good ideas seem to have left my brain!

LMH and LostInLove: thank you very much, I have decided hand- made is the best I can do, according to funds and such. But instead of a card I have left him a video message on our private youtube account :3 I have told him thank you in person of course, but I wanted to do something a little extra. I've decided as I'm going back to my student flat the day before his arrival so I can pick him up, I will get up super early and make him some cookies, to go with a little letter He'll probably be starving coming off the plane so think he'll appreciate them the most

again, thank you guys for all your kind suggestions