Why does it have to be so hard for us??? same sex couples rant!

[Caitlin2009]

Now its getting close to the time for me to start the visa process of moving with Denise and for us to get married. Here's what frustrates me to no end, i live in America and we are supposed to be the land of the free, and not discriminate against anyone right??? Well that has gone out the window because in most states gay marriage is banned, theres like a few states that actually allow it. And theres the visa process to coming to America which doesnt give you that many options especially if you and your partner are the same sex and you want them to come move over to you but unless they choose the work, or school visa which are expensive and with the work visa you practically have to be an astronaut to get!! For me and Denise I actually have to apply for a few visa's to move over with her in the UK, no complaints here i wanna move anywhere she is anyway, the UK has those options available which is really awesome! But what I don't understand is why the US can't have these options??? Is the world gonna burst into flames if they have those options available? lol hasent for the UK and there still here, It's really unfair that the US doesn't have this because there are so many couples in this world going through the same thing, and me and Denise are lucky in this aspect because so many other countries do not have the same options available either, and the sad and horrible part is that couples in our situation will actually give up hope and break up because of it. As someone said love is love, it doesnt matter if your the same sex or not, if you love the person you should have the right to wanna be with them forever!!!

[garnet]

I don't get it either. I think it's easier for people to get in, and get to stay when they come in illegally, than it is for folks to do it the right way. I mean, I don't see them jumping through years of immigration hoops!

No same sex fiance or spouse option is crap. A loving couple is made up of two people. Having 1 vagina and 1 penis does not make a "better" couple. I hope things change. I'd like to see the people fighting this so hard move onto ACTUAL bad things in this country. Lets improve our schools, lets work on lowering the amount of homeless. Lets get rid of puppy mills, lets do more to help battered women. And lets let people who want to be together, and do it the right way, be together.

I'm sorry you're facing this Caitlin. Glad you do have more options in the UK though.

[lucybelle]

I think there's a lot of things that need to be changed here. I'm just waiting for "Don't Ask Don't Tell" to get repealed. I mean seriously? What a stupid piece of legislation!

I was so sure about 5 years ago that in 20 years we would look back to now and say "Geeze that's so stupid that we didn't let same sex couples get married" Just like now we look back and say "Geeze that's so stupid that we didn't let interracial couples get married." But I feel a little more down about it now. I don't think a lot of progress is being made and it breaks my heart.

And don't even get me started on immigration! My friend moved here legally with her family and JUST became a USA citizen about 2 years ago. Which means it took her TWELVE YEARS to become a legal citizen. But I also have great sympathy for all illegal citizens... I mean you have to know how hard they work, how little they get paid, and what crappy places they come from...


BUUUTTTT I'm way off topic and rambling...

Good luck, Caitlin, and I'm so sorry this is so tough for you!

[Riyko]

I'm just waiting for "Don't Ask Don't Tell" to get repealed.

To be honest I don't think it will get repealed. I understand their reasoning for having the "Don't Ask Don't Tell" policy, but I don't fully agree with it.

I'm sure or at least I hope that the laws will change in the distant future to make same sex marriages legal in all of the US (with the exception of Utah because the Church will never allow it =/ sad that a religion dictates what happens in a state). Good luck with everything

[Silviar]

I don't get it either. I think it's easier for people to get in, and get to stay when they come in illegally, than it is for folks to do it the right way. I mean, I don't see them jumping through years of immigration hoops!

Agreed, and let me add my own particular bit of frustration to that. In order to legally get into the US costs so much money and require essentially marriage or lots of job qualifications, and I think that's shit. If we're such a great country, why don't we offer more options for people to come, like a REAL working holiday visa or things like de facto partner/common law marriage visas? We always talk about who we're a country of freedom and equality, but apparently freedom and equality only count if you come with thousands of dollars to grease things along or only love the opposite sex while holding some sort of influence in another country.

Our whole visa system is completely backwater as compared to other wealthy nations. Bluntly, I can't wait to leave.

[Rugger]

I'm sorry darling. I agree with you. The ban on Gay marriage is not only stupid, but discriminatory and unfair. I have the right to marry my boyfriend, You should have the right to marry Denise. Hopefully you will have better luck in the UK.

Wishing you two the best

[Caitlin2009]

Our whole visa system is completely backwater as compared to other wealthy nations. Bluntly, I can't wait to leave.

i cant wait to leave myself :/ i know at some point we'll move to North Carolina but thats gonna take a few years because since shes into stand up and were both into improv and acting its sadly gonna take awhile for her to get recognized with the talent she has! Thats pretty much the only way shes ever gonna get to move to the US but like i said that takes years i wanna be with her under one roof now or at least as soon as possible, like i said a few months back we had a discussion about hiring that lawyer who wanted us to challenge the DOMA act by getting married and taking it to court in the US, O_o i'm all for taking risks and what not but that i wont do because if it didnt work then there was a risk she wouldn't be able to visit the US anymore, and i wasent sure if that applied to me as well and i just couldn't take that risk, because i knew in my heart if it did it would have changed things for us and not in a good way. So i started thinking why not move there since i wanna be with her, it wasent in my original plans to do so but i dont have a choice, i cant stand the thought of not being with her forever under one roof, i mean going back and forth on visits is great but it would cost too much in the long run. Sure the visa process is expensive and requires a few trips but its not that bad. I just wish the US had these options and like you said i cant wait to leave here, theres nothing for me here, nothing holding me back, what i want is in Scotland and i just cant wait to actually see her beautiful face every morning when we get our own apartment

[Darth_Taco]

Maybe this will make you feel better :P.



This is why my family came here illegally and either waited for an amnesty or had sham marriages to stay :P. Anchor babies work too XP. I'm not saying I suggest it >.>...<.<...>.>... It's just how most of us did it :P.

[LostInLove]

I'm so sorry, that sucks for you guys. The US can be so backwards...my mom's from the states, and I know that if I was a lesbian most of her family would never speak to me again. I hope it can all work out for you guys.

[Caitlin2009]

lmao Darth

[Silviar]

Maybe this will make you feel better :P.

...

This is why my family came here illegally and either waited for an amnesty or had sham marriages to stay :P. Anchor babies work too XP. I'm not saying I suggest it >.>...<.<...>.>... It's just how most of us did it :P.

LOL Darth! So, my family is immigrant - my grandma married an American man, and although my mother was born in Spain, she's got dual citizenship. And lemme tell you, it wasn't easy even for them as legal immigrants. Even as a hetero couple, things were truly a struggle. Unfortunately, the law is always slower to catch up to the status quo than we'd like, but that's how it works. I think if we had less people who were against gay-everything (you know, the whole "no gays!" as if somehow that makes them disappear), we could allow homosexual unions, soldiers, and everything else without so much ridiculous fighting.



Man, if I keep thinking about this, I'm gonna end up kicking a puppy or something.

[lucybelle]

Maybe this will make you feel better :P.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! I just showed that picture to my whole family and made it my facebook profile picture. LOVE it.