Nervous. wreck. = not. good.

[kymckenna]

I met my SO's dad's side of the family for the first time this past summer, but this Christmas I'm meeting his mom's side, and when I mean side, I mean EVERYONE like grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins.. I'm so afraid I'm going to do something stupid. I'm such a clutz..

I just plan on being myself. My personality is very loud and outgoing and fun but I know when to be serious and where I stand. Being from the south I say yes mam, and no mam and thank you and such.

Problem is.. they're french Canadian.

I know some french but not a lot. I'm just afraid I'm going to look awkward and not fit in very well.

So what did you guys do when meeting parents and what did you do to make yourself relax? My SO is very good at making me feel comfortable, it's just first impressions are everything. His grandparents don't believe in teen love, so it makes it harder. help? haha (:

[LadyMarchHare]

If your SO makes you feel more comfortable, perhaps ask him if he could stay by you when you meet them and talk to them. If not, try and work out a system where if you get uncomfortable there could be a code signal/word/whatever and he could come excuse you from the situation politely. And if you're not comfortable speaking French to them, say so. Honesty's better than having them speak rapid French and you not understand a word.

Also keep in mind while it's GREAT to be accepted by your SO's family, it's not their opinion that wholly counts and you don't have to be around them/talk to them/etc if you don't want to. They're the ribbon on the package, they can come off as easily as they can stay on, see what I'm saying? Good luck in meeting them and I know everything will go alright.

[mllebamako]

Hmmm I don't know if I have any stellar advice, aside from the obvious: relax. Realize that it's normal to be nervous. Obviously, most people are nervous when meeting the family. When my SO met my parents he was like freaking out haha. When I met his, I was ALONE, going to stay with them for 1 week, and our only communication language is French which they aren't great at. So yeah, nerves are normal.

But like LMH said, remember that their opinion doesn't mean everything. It's the icing on the cake (the ribbon on the present--I like that better). And don't expect to fit in right away---these people have known each other for their entire lives!

Good luck and be yourself!

[nicole]

Just relax and if it makes you comfortable, stay close to your SO. I remember meeting my SO's parents, I was so nervous and checking my hair every 5 minutes, and he made it worse by making us late... but I needn't of worried, they were perfectly lovely people On the other hand, my SO is currently in panic mode as he's meeting my parents in 2 weeks

I think it's perfectly normal to be nervous, it is a big thing and all, but at least you will meet them which is the main thing, if you get along, that's nice and a bonus, but not necessary. I'm sure everything will be fine, most people don't go out of their way to make these situations awkward and intimidating, just be yourself, and I'm sure you'll do great!

[Silviar]

Agreed with the other fine advice given here. It's nice to have the approval, but really, it's not necessary to your relationship's survival. Also keep in mind that bad impressions can be turned into good, but you can never turn a negative person into a positive one. So just keep in mind that if for some reason someone says something about you that you don't like, consider the source.

Something else to keep in mind - this is really great time to observe the family dynamics and see how everyone treats everyone else. If this is going to be part of your family for the rest of your life, you should see whether you want to be part of that family or not (for some people, it's more important than others). It's also kind of just plain fun to observe people.

[lucybelle]

I have no doubt you'll charm the pants off them. My SO is Hispanic so when I met his family we all had to speak Spanish. I'm fluent in Spanish, but they talked so fast that I couldn't think quick enough to say anything. It's like I could understand what was being said, but couldn't put in any input. Which was different for me because I love talking and have a "big" personality as well. Soooo I just sat there and smiled, and laughed, and said the food was great and I loved the house, and what a nice blouse, and thank you sooooo much. And they LOVE me. They barely know me and they love me. Just be polite, kind, and loving and you'll be fine.

[LostInLove]

I agree with everyone, just be yourself and don't worry too much. I'm sure you'll do just fine.

Them being French Canadian most likely will not be a problem, unless they live in REALLY rural Quebec the francophones tend to have quite a good grasp of english. So I'm sure between your basic French and their partial (or maybe even fluent) English you should be able to communicate just fine.