New here, and already seeking advice.

[Poof]

This is my first post. I'm so excited to finally have somewhere to get advice from people who actually know what i'm going through. I met Alec 9 months ago today. We dropped the 'L' bomb almost 7 months ago. (we consider that the time we started dating.) He's in NY, me in NC. We haven't become completely official yet because we haven't met in person. I'm just weird about that. He's finally coming to visit in January though! Just a few weekss (21 days, 2 hours, and 47 minutes to be exact. But who's counting. lol). I cannot express how excited i am, but also the nerves are really kicking in now that it's really happening. He's gonna be my first boyfriend. My first everything, really. I'm 21, he'll be 20 (on xmas eve) and we are both virgins. We will be each others first kiss even. As excited as i am, i really am terrified. I've always been overweight and EXTREMELY self conscience. I've lost about 30 pounds this year, but am left with a body i am less than pleased with. (flabby, deflated balloon look) and i still have more weight to lose, and really low self esteem. Even though we've talked on camera for the past several months, part of me is still terrified he will see me in person and no longer feel as attracted. Of course he says there is no chance of that happening. But anytime we talk about that my reply is something like 'yeah well, you haven't seen me without clothes on...'. Such a sweet talker i am. lol I am just SO inexperienced, and i'm trying not to let the anxiety and worries get in the way of my excitement. I've told him there's a high possibility sex won't happen on the first visit seeing as we are staying at my parent's. And i'll be visiting him in March so it's not our only chance. I still am nervous the closer it gets. Anyone gone through this on their first meeting? Sorry this is so long. But thanks in advance for any replies. I look forward to being part of this forum =)

[stacyrose]

Welcome to the forums! =]

Nerves are natural, and it's very exciting to meet for the first time!! Believe me honey, if he's with you and says that he loves you, he will love every part of you, inside and out. Just relax, breathe, and enjoy yourself. Things will pan out and develop as they are meant to, and all the jitters will go away for the most part once you are actually with him. I hope you have an amazing time with your SO when you finally meet him! =]

[Richard Marks]

I remember my first meeting with my SO, I was so nervous I almost missed my connecting flight. In fact I almost went home before I saw her. When I saw her this is what went through my head.
"Strong face, big nose, not that pretty" and then I looked into her eyes, and everything changed. To this day I still say she is not the best looking woman on the planet, but she is the best woman on the planet. Your SO MAY think the same thing, but hopefully he is more sensitive than me and not say it.

OK that's the worst over with, now for the best. You have already spent a long time getting to know each others personalities, you already know the most important things about him (what makes him laugh, cry, smile, favorite colour etc). Compared to that looks are nothing. The single most greatest peice of advice I can give you is this:
When you meet in person. Just be who you are, the woman he loves. Do not try to be someone you think he wants, be yourself and everything will be OK.

BTW, Don't get hung up about the sex bit either, it was 4 years from meeting till I had sex with my wife, and that was on our wedding night......(we were both virgins)

[KimberlyJ]

Trust him. If he loves you, it wont be an issue. Our view of ourselves is always far worse than anyone else sees us. I sometimes worry about my weight gains in between our visits, and he still makes me feel like the sexiest woman in the world. Men worry about their looks too. Just trust him. There's nothing wrong with waiting if one of you aren't ready or comfortable. Good luck!

[Sano]

I understand completely :3
I was feeling the same way but then I'm getting over >.> but Im sure the closer I get to our meeting the more nervous I'll get but guys are self conscious too. My bf just recently started telling me he worries if I'll like him in person. XD
I tell him I will all the time but then he'll say something like "you're just too nice to tell me"
>.> I probably am but i say since I love you already theres nothing really to worry about

[TknandLvnIt]

I remember my first meeting with my SO, I was so nervous I almost missed my connecting flight. In fact I almost went home before I saw her. When I saw her this is what went through my head.
"Strong face, big nose, not that pretty" and then I looked into her eyes, and everything changed. To this day I still say she is not the best looking woman on the planet, but she is the best woman on the planet. Your SO MAY think the same thing, but hopefully he is more sensitive than me and not say it.

OK that's the worst over with, now for the best. You have already spent a long time getting to know each others personalities, you already know the most important things about him (what makes him laugh, cry, smile, favorite colour etc). Compared to that looks are nothing. The single most greatest peice of advice I can give you is this:
When you meet in person. Just be who you are, the woman he loves. Do not try to be someone you think he wants, be yourself and everything will be OK.

BTW, Don't get hung up about the sex bit either, it was 4 years from meeting till I had sex with my wife, and that was on our wedding night......(we were both virgins)

That is sooooo amazing :-). My So thinks I'm gorgeous...but I must say he is a bit biased...but we are both waiting until our wedding night and its nice to know someone in an LDR was actually able to do that...blissful sigh.

[Caity]

This is just how i felt before meeting my feller for the first time too. Don't worry about it. As soon as you meet him in person all those thoughts will disappear from your head . I know my guy was even more nervous than me, he went all shy, but after being together in person for a few hours we'd gotten used to it and then it was almost as if we'd been together for ages, not for less than a day. Don't let the nerves stress you out enjoy the anticipation of waiting, and then definitely enjoy the moment you meet and the rest of your visit.

[LadyMarchHare]

I remember thinking the same thing about myself with my SO as I'm overweight myself and I have the build of a marshmallow. He's my first boyfriend, will be my first everything, and I was so nervous he'd up and leave me when we met. We haven't met yet, but I do feel a lot better about myself, I don't feel so negative about how I look, and all I can say is it takes time, reassurance from him, and biting your tongue and not saying "yeah right" or rolling your eyes. You have to try and believe that someone loves you enough to see what you still have the blinds over.

That aside, nerves are normal. I'd be more worried if people WEREN'T nervous over meeting their SO for the first time, even a little.

[London-FortCollins]

Aww sweetie. I understand the nerves. To reiterate what everyone else has said if he loves you, he loves YOU and everything about you.

Dont think about the sex, or any physical stuff for that matter. If it happens, it'll happen naturally - try not to overthink it

And also dont worry about being "inexperienced". Again when we're with the right person, it doesnt matter how much or how little experience we've had in the past. Its about being there, in the moment, with each other.

And also if your both virgins, when it does happen, you'll both be on the same page. You'll be able to experiment and find out what you like and dont like together.

Honestly hun - dont worry about it at all. Just enjoy the moments and live in them - dont overthink them.

[Richard Marks]

You will be just fine. In fact I can see something like the following happening

"You see each other across a crowded room and you slowly move to one another. looking, searching, waiting for that moment of pure joy when you first meet. When you feel it your face will light up in a massive smile, as will his. You will reach out and just hold his hand, and the world will just fade away until there is nothing but him, and for him there will be nothing but you. Then you will move in for a hug slowly anticipating the moment when his arms are wrapped around you and you breath deeply of his scent and he breathes deeply of yours".

Well that's what happened with me anyway (sorry guys I kinda love to tell my story of me and my wife).

But that first meeting will be just pure magic. There will be no thoughts of looks or anything like that, instead you will both just be so wrapped up in each other that nothing could intrude.