When bridging the gap will take years?

[Andrea]

Mark & I both have young children - our exes are very involved in the kids lives so moving any of the kids isn't an option....it's pretty unlikely Mark would move here in less than 8 years and I can't/won't go until my 4 year old is out of high school - so I've got 14 years before I'll go anywhere. How do you stop focusing on how much longer it's going to take & just focus on the good times we do have together?

[Silviar]

Here's what i do - in the past, I've always made sure we plan our next trip and make sure we're both ok on it so we have something to look forward to. That way I focus on trips rather than the large amounts of time inbetween.

[Andrea]

Yes...I think that's a good idea...in the past 15 months, he came here in late August 09 til mid Sept, then was back in October for 5 weeks until Nov....& then I couldn't get out to him until March, then we were up in the air until Sept when he came back & I'm going again in January.....I want to make it more consistent...the biggest prob with that is that he's too proud to accept a plane ticket from me and he's been out of work for a couple months now with very little opportunity presenting itself....I can afford to get out there, but have limited vacation time...

[Silviar]

Yes...I think that's a good idea...in the past 15 months, he came here in late August 09 til mid Sept, then was back in October for 5 weeks until Nov....& then I couldn't get out to him until March, then we were up in the air until Sept when he came back & I'm going again in January.....I want to make it more consistent...the biggest prob with that is that he's too proud to accept a plane ticket from me and he's been out of work for a couple months now with very little opportunity presenting itself....I can afford to get out there, but have limited vacation time...

I understand that - my boyfriend had a hard time accepting that as well. I finally told him that him accepting my gift is my way of helping our relationship when he'll be the primary breadwinner. Then he'll be taking care of us, whereas when I had a job and he didn't, it was my turn to take care of us.

[Karringtyn]

Totally Agree with Silv on this one....as long as I have a trip planned...no matter how long till the trip..I feel better.

[Dauntedpoet]

We have several trips in the works down the road, so that we are always planning one at all times...and we measure the love between us not the distance.