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[sagittariusgirl89]

my boyfriend was supposed to come on the 31st and stay till the 2nd, well today he called me and said that his boss gave him an option of working the 1st and john asked me if that was alright. Well no its not. I feel so disgusted right now. Especially since johns boss gave him the option and didnt tell him to work. I made it clear to john that Im upset and he has the nerve to get angry at me! He throws shit up in my face.

He even had the balls to ask me "what do you do for me?" I feel like he can be abusive on how he talks to me when he gets angry.

The other day he got mad at me because he had the day off and we only talked once for like 10 minutes. Well 5 hours passed and I told him I think its mean that he will only talk to me before he goes to church. He called me "A seagull and that I think whatever is his is mine too".

I feel like I always have to say sorry when he get in arguments. Half the time we fight is because I want to talk to him.

Im so upset because he is back at work until 10pm and he turned his phone off after he hung up on me. I feel like we had the new year all planned and he thinks iM not flexible. I am in fact flexible and adaptable.

I feel like I have to say sorry but I dont want to. He really hurt my feelings and im crying.

[Michelle]

I'm so sorry. I don't think it's right that he makes plans with you but pushes them aside so easily.

I think it would be one thing if it were just a random weekend because you could just change your visit to a different weekend, but you had plans for new years and that only comes once a year

[sagittariusgirl89]

Exactly michelle! He is still coming on the 31st but he said he will be leaving at noon or 1 on new years. I start school on the 3rd so It sucks. He said he is trying to make up for it by coming on the 5th for my dr appt, but he was already gonna do that anyway. I hate how he talks to me when he is mad. I feel like it is abusive. But I already said sorry...i hate always saying sorry. I feel like I did something wrong. I mean im freakin upset that he wont be going home on the 2nd as planned!

[Michelle]

I think we all say mean things when we're frustrated. If it were abusive he'd be making more emotional/personal attacks (eg. telling you that you're worthless, or that no one else loves you or could love you.... you know things that bring down your self-esteem). You know? Hopefully you can both move past this and still enjoy your visit together.

[Silviar]

I would really encourage you to pick a time where you're doing fine/in a neutral place for both of you and see if you can talk about the way he handles his anger. He's not fighting fairly with you, which is uncool, to say the least. And I would discuss ways you two can also fight fair - I think that's really important.

[sagittariusgirl89]

I would really encourage you to pick a time where you're doing fine/in a neutral place for both of you and see if you can talk about the way he handles his anger. He's not fighting fairly with you, which is uncool, to say the least. And I would discuss ways you two can also fight fair - I think that's really important.

Yesterday I brought it up to him and he said he is sorry for the way he talks sometimes. I really hate what he says, it affects me and stays with me even after we make up. I have told him that before too.

[Silviar]

Yesterday I brought it up to him and he said he is sorry for the way he talks sometimes. I really hate what he says, it affects me and stays with me even after we make up. I have told him that before too.

That's a good start, but have you talked about ways to keep the fighting 'fair'? I think it's good you've got the dialogue started, but until your boyfriend has ideas on how to handle his issues and starts working on them, then it won't show any productive change. And he has to be willing to change - which being sorry I think indicates he does.