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"Just try and be normal"

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    #1

    "Just try and be normal"

    So I finally got around to having that talk with my boyfriend about being uncomfortable sending his pictures or doing anything sexual with him. As soon as I said it. He clammed up and said he had to go. So I called him after a few hours (and that was a struggle in itself) had passed and he said he didnt understand why Im distancing myself from him in any way and that hurts him that I feel like he doesn't want to spend any time with me. Then his solution to everything was "dont worry so much, just be normal" or the way I was before. I haven't changed any and if I have its because of the things he does.
    -.- I just have no idea whats he's thinking anymore
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    #2
    I really don't like the way he's going about this. On purpose or not, he's on that manipulation edge, and that is REALLY uncool. That sort of answer is completely unacceptable.

    What about his part in the distance? He needs to understand his portion of the cause as well.


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      #3
      I agree with Silviar, this isn't sounding very good on his part. 'Be normal'? Honey, there really isn't a normal but I can see what he's asking and I think that's really rude to imply that you've changed so drastically that you're not the same person you were, and for the bad too. From the threads you made it's him who's changing and not 'normal', he's going for the worse. He needs to understand he's not Mr. Perfect here.

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        #4
        I think that respect...mutually in regards to each others values and boundaries whether or not you agree with them is SUPER important in a relationship. Not being physical does not mean that you are any less committed to him or that you love him any less...he reminds me of an ex that used to make me feel guilty for not wanting to do things with him...even to the point that I was crying or just withdrawn he still tried to push it. If that's how you feel then stand firm behind that and try to get him to understand why it is that you feel that way and that its not because you don't care for him. But it does sound like from your previous posts that he tries to play the victim even when he is in the wrong and that's wrong.

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          #5
          Im trying to work things out with him and I hate to say it I dont see us getting very far.

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            #6
            We were suppose to watch a movie together and he left me waiting for 5 hrs. and I had been sending messages online the whole time reminding him and he claims he never got them or saw me online. I dont believe him, I really dont. The only way that happens is if you block the person. So I called him like 5 times and left a voice mail telling him if he didnt call me back in the2 hrs I had before work I was done trying to work things out with him.

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              #7
              He said it makes him think Im trying to break up with him slowly.

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                #8
                Ok, I want you to think back to everything you've said about him. How he constantly talks to other girls knowing you're uncomfortable, how he shows off those other girls to you, how he always finds a way to make you look like the bad guy, how he pressures you into doing things you're not comfortable with despite making it clear how it makes you feel. I honestly don't see any part of this relationship that makes it seem like he's at all committed to you or that he even cares about you, do you? I know it hurts to have this done to you by someone you love, but that love isn't enough to stay with him. It takes two to make a relationship work, and this relationship seems completely one-sided. What would you tell someone else going through the exact same stuff you're going through? You deserve better, and I really hope you see it like we do.

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                  #9
                  Originally posted by Sano View Post
                  He said it makes him think Im trying to break up with him slowly.
                  From every thread you've made regarding him, I say his sorry ass deserves to be dumped. Like Darth said, he's mistreating you and you're the only one trying to make it work out and that's not fair.

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                    #10
                    He's def. mistreating you sweetie! I've said this in all your other posts about him. I think his behavior is borderline abusive and you need to get rid of him once and for all.
                    "We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love " ~ Theodore Seuss Geisel.

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                      #11
                      Never seen a happy post from you concerning your SO. I think that's saying something. You already know what needs to be done, you're just looking for support now. Do what needs to be done.

                      As far as "changing" is concerned, I change every goddam day. That's why I enjoy my life. If I look back just THREE years in my life I was a completely different person. I know I'm going to continuing changing (getting a dog, buying a house, having children...) and anyone who thinks that change is a bad thing is not right for me.

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                        #12
                        You really need to think about your relationship. Every single one of your posts has a red flag. Nobody deserves to be mistreated.

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