On a visit and fighting. Bleh.

[Sano]

You both are aware of each other beliefs and I think you need to talk honestly about if it bothers him that you're not as religious as he and make him aware that his comments about your family hurts your feelings. If you dont it'll just keep coming up in other thinigs like if you have kids and what religion they'll partake in

[Richard Marks]

Richard, it sounds like you're trying to justify the SO's actions more than anything. There is a line between wanting to share the word of God and try and save someone and being an outright prick to those who don't share your beliefs and acting like a religious nutbar. Yes there's probably good intention behind it, but the bible does preach tolerance for other religions and beliefs and he's honestly not showing it. Nor is he showing it by acting like his religion means more to him than someone who loves him and someone he claims to love. It's not right behavior regardless of religion. No offense meant, but just because you believe the same thing doesn't mean there's good in taking up for wayward actions and stupidity. Like I mentioned in a previous post, he can love God until his face turns blue but he needs to tone it down or risk losing people in his life. There is such thing as being an extremist.

I am sorry if I offended you there. I was not trying to defend or suggest that the SO's actions were correct. What I was trying to do was give a different perspective on the situation. Unfortunately that is often hard to do, throw in the fact that I kinda typed this shortly after I got up and may not have been at my sharpest and we end up with what we have here. A slight miscommunication

So let me try again, hopefully this time with a little more tact...:

This is the way I see things: Your SO is concerned for your 'immortal soul' and that of your family. He earnestly desires that you be in heaven with him. Unfortunately he is not communicating this very well, and is coming across as over-bearing and as just a touch of a 'religious nut'. You need to sit down with him and talk to him about his religious beliefs and how his OTT (over the top) enthusiasm is actually driving a wedge between you. Remind him that it is not up to him to save anyone, all he can do is show someone the way and let them choose. Tell him the best way to show someone the way to Christ is to live the way of Christ and not jump to conclusions about someones faith by what someone is reading.

Apologies once more if I offended people, even the best intentioned christian often falls flat on his/her face.

[bluepotato1236]

I actually kinda agree with Richard..Not to say that your SO actions is correct..But im as a Christians and how i see things between my SO and i..He is not a Christians. At the beginning of the relationship i didnt think much about it.. But after being with him for quite a time, i start to think about our difference in a religion. I respect his belief, but sometimes i think what if one day when we die..How the funeral will be? As for me i will want in a Christian way. And i want him to be next to my grave too. Besides that like someone before this said about the kids..

he respect my belief and he is willing to go to church with me..And now he start to pray before he sleeps or when i am sick. :-D It is like give and take and compromising and respect. He told me few days ago that we both starting to love each others interest and be more alike.. For example,I start to love the sports he watching and he start to love God and etc.

But you SO actions jumping into conclusion and say about the Christmas Dinner and your brother is not right..Like many others said, talk to him.. Tell how you feel and see what he said..and what he feels too..I wish you all the best!:-)

[LadyMarchHare]

I am sorry if I offended you there. I was not trying to defend or suggest that the SO's actions were correct. What I was trying to do was give a different perspective on the situation. Unfortunately that is often hard to do, throw in the fact that I kinda typed this shortly after I got up and may not have been at my sharpest and we end up with what we have here. A slight miscommunication

So let me try again, hopefully this time with a little more tact...:

This is the way I see things: Your SO is concerned for your 'immortal soul' and that of your family. He earnestly desires that you be in heaven with him. Unfortunately he is not communicating this very well, and is coming across as over-bearing and as just a touch of a 'religious nut'. You need to sit down with him and talk to him about his religious beliefs and how his OTT (over the top) enthusiasm is actually driving a wedge between you. Remind him that it is not up to him to save anyone, all he can do is show someone the way and let them choose. Tell him the best way to show someone the way to Christ is to live the way of Christ and not jump to conclusions about someones faith by what someone is reading.

Apologies once more if I offended people, even the best intentioned christian often falls flat on his/her face.

Nah you didn't offend me, I think I just mistook what you were trying to say since it just sounded like, to me, you were defending the SO's actions just because you shared beliefs. I can see now it's not the case so thanks for clarifying.

[samglam209]

You SO is probably worried about your immortal soul, and the souls of your family, see it as him caring. He wants to see all of you in heaven, and he wants to be with all of you for eternity. He is probably very scared (even if he won't admit it) that when you die he will never see you again as you will be going to hell (sorry to be so blunt, but these are often the thought patterns of someone in a faith/non faith relationship). There is also a scripture that says that two people in a relationship are not to be unequally yoked (2nd Corinthians 6:14).

He has told me these things before. That he wants me to be in heaven with him. When he says that I tell him I don't believe that there is a heaven and a hell. And that I don't believe that God would/should split up people that love each other. What exactly does unequally yoked and that passage mean? I'm wondering.

I've talked to him about it and I think he understands that I felt disrespected.
A few days before Christmas I even asked if he was going to Christmas eve service and expressed an interest in going.(I went to one last year with my mom because my brother played Tuba in the band at the Church,yes the same brother that got the book)and he said he wasn't going. We ended up going to see lights with my family instead.

[uniquefem]

huff... this is though....
I am a Moslem, not a Christian. I born as moslem in moslem family, i did praying, but i am not blindly strict (cover all my head, not talking or going out with any guys but my family etc etc).

I agree, its kind of hurt when others judge you because of what you belief. Its hurt when they know i am a moslem, and later they associate me with some murders/psycho.

I think its a bit shallow to think that others will go to "hell" if they don't believe what you believe. If there are many people think that way.. i am very sorry to say this, there will be lots more of people "hating" each other from now on because EVERYBODY think that what they belief is right and other who doesn't belief in same way will go to hell and they were wrong.

Some of people that i know who stick to what they belief and had the most loud voice to say they could prove their love to their belief, treat their family and love one or other badly. They beat their wife, not giving money/food/education to their childrens, steal things that not theirs (corrupting govt money as much number as they went to mosque or church perhaps???) there are so much hatred in them that they can not see other people kindness even if they had other beliefs. Do and say things, as they are "God" and decide whos worth to live and whos ot or whos goes to heaven, and whos not. So..... are these people really goes to heaven? really??

Once i had a friend from USA. He was a christian, from Texas. Once he read me bible when we talk on phone.. i think i remember.. we were argue about something and its really bad, its my mistake and he forgive me.. i ask why you always did? why you can do it? and then.. he read something really nice, and later i found it was from bible its Corinthians 13:4, about love.

I was crying when he read that, because its very deep and sweet. He said because Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. As christian he shall be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave him. He explain more, but i can't remember details. But its.. really sweet to hear the definition of love like that! Why can't we love each others like that?

People have to learn to respect others beliefs (or not belief), its basic human rights, its a very personal thing. Why can't love others just like the way they are?



Of course everybody had their opinions. Its just my two cents about respecting others beliefs. So sorry if i offend others here.

[mllebamako]

Am I wrong for being hurt by this? I'm questioning whether to just be like if you can't get over my beliefs then just end it now or if thats too blunt?
Please help.

Sorry to hear about this argument. Actually, now I realize this post was back at Christmas so maybe you guys have already resolved this issue. But I'll reply anyway.
I don't think you are being too blunt about this. I agree with others that you really need to discuss religious difference and discuss them thoroughly when your partner is of a different religious background. And I mean a thorough discussion. When my SO and I were first getting serious, I asked him a million and one "What if" questions to gauge how our future would be since we do not practice the same religion. (ex: What if your child decides he/she wants to change religions?) You also have to consider what you are willing to give up or change for your SO. If you get married, are you willing to have a Christian ceremony? Are you willing to raise your kids Christian or is he willing to raise them agnostic? This may seem like blowing 1 argument out of proportion but I think this conversation is necessary for interfaith couples.

You need to set boundaries with him so that you can feel like he is respecting you and your family. And so that he feels like his opinion is being respected too.

[samglam209]

We have resolved it and we have talked about those things before.I am fine with getting married in a church and our kids going to church. IF they choose too.

[Richard Marks]

Glad to hear that you have resolved the issue And letting your kids (when you have them) choose if they want to go to church is also an excellent idea. Hope everything else works out as well God Bless

[samglam209]

Wait Richard I still wanna know what 2nd Corinthians 6:14 means.

[samglam209]

Wow I just looked it up. I wonder if he's read that one. Probably not.