LDR meanies

[EBKitty]

This is going to be a long post (I think), bare with me...

I have had two people, in the last two days, say something offensive to me and I got mad. The first one was about me being a "miserable bitch" because some of my posts on facebook aren't always happy. Then last night and into this morning, this chick, who knows NOTHING about my LDR or my SO, gets personal because I put up a pic of Manchester United that she didn't like. She got defensive with me, so I got defensive with her. She was directing everything she was saying towards me, not towards the conversation about Liverpool and Manchester. Like "tell me that, Erin. You this. You that." Everything was pointed towards me!

Now, ordinarally I wouldn't really care but it got to the point because my SO started commenting back about Liverpool (my team) and Manchester (her team), him saying that he doesn't care for Manchester or their players either. She started saying, "uh oh, here comes the knight in shining armour... hold on, lemme go get my boyfriend too...LOL" and other things like that. Plus she kept deleting other comments and reposting things. I could see them all because I get emails from facebook.

Her final comment was this (before she deleted herself) " "...ok children- i'm done playing. have a nice life and go get your rocks off insulting me and twisting the facts and all that and believing you truly will be the one couple to succeed at this very long distance relationship...you won't."
But what I don't get it is: why bring in my LDR? What the flip did that have to do with anything at all?

I know this chick because she was friends with an ex-friend of mine, who actually was an ass toward my relationship as well. We had it out about a month ago, about my LDR, and I was done with him.

I am just having a hard time with people. I never really mention, unless needed to, that I am in an LDR for this exact reason. I respect my SO so much that I want to protect what we have, but it feels like we keep getting bombarded.

Things have been getting to me so much lately. My SO and I talked about this earlier, he's English, so naturally he was all cuss words hehe.

Any advice on something like this? Anyone had something like this happen before?
Thanks for listening.

[TknandLvnIt]

It sucks but don't let it get to you. There are going to always people that make you feel like what you have isn't real and that its never going to work. But this site is a constant reminder that no you are not the ONE couple that's gonna make it work you are ONE of many that ARE! I think its best not to engage in arguments that aren't going to lead to anything productive...easiest thing to do is walk away...don't let little comments on facebook or other things cause you to lose your cool its not worth it. Hope this helps a bit ;-)

[lucybelle]

I've heard of other people encountering problems like this, but I personally have not. I always try to not have arguments over facebook. They're just so STUPID. Everyone leaves angry. I once had a girl I've never met, don't know (not even sure how she was able to comment) threaten to fight me over something I put in my status. Really chick... really? just made me laugh.

She's just being a jerk. Leave it alone, you're happy and that's what's important.

[Snowy.Winter]

People like that aren't worth it, of course people are allowed their opinions, but jerks like that don't
need your time or attention. Don't let them get to you. You've got us if you ever need us

[LadyMarchHare]

I had a similar experience, but it wasn't LDR related. On New Year's Day of '10 I had a triple surgery on my left arm, my writing arm. I made a lot of journals on an art site about the pain, my daily life, getting the stitches out and me going through the motions of life. I had one girl comment on one after I jokingly said no one paid attention to me anymore that "no one wants to listen to the rantings of a cantankerous, injured girl." I got mad, but I didn't reply. Know what I did? I had "cantankerous, injured girl" put on a shirt to wear. If someone said that's what I was, by God I'd be proud of it.

Moral being, there are jerks out there who are gonna kick you when you're down and just kick you because they have a foot. If you let them all get to you, you're gonna end up with some serious problems and a lot of stress-induced headaches, not to mention a bitter demeanor. Hold your head up high, be proud of your LDR and SO and if people have a problem with what you post on FB, block them from seeing your content or de-friend them. It's not worth the tears and the gritting your teeth.

[Silviar]

It seems anymore that if you even want to have an opinion on the 'privacy' of your Facebook page, then by god you gotta have a thick skin to beat away People Who Know Better Than You. Don't pay attention to her - sore losers often say things they don't even mean, and are completely useless besides. I suspect part of the reason she deleted it is because she knows that calling out your relationship was completely stupid and pointless.

[britt0851]

I've had this happen to me multiple times, whether it's over fb, real life, email, etc. People criticize me and my LDR, the fact that we met online and the fact that we've been together nearly 2 years and we haven't met yet. It's hard to deal with but I agree with everybody who has posted so far, so just take their advice and just don't let it get to you. They're not worth it. I'm not sure how you handle it, but whenever it happens to me I always call my boyfriend and talk, even if it's just a short chat. He's my best friend, so he always knows how to cheer me up.
Good luck

[EBKitty]

Thanks everyone
I did talk to my boyfriend about because he was in on it, and he definitely helps. ^.^
Maybe I'll never understand why people have to get so mean about things that don't involve them.
But I am feeling better, hehe

Thanks again ^^

[uniquefem]

If someone saying something about my LDR, i will tell them to back off, and mind their own business (yeah like she ever had a "perfect" relationship, sure....).

The more people try to say something about it the more i want to made this work. I wont let anyone tell me what to do with my life, especially someone that i don't know well. LDR ONLY for those are stronger. So i am proud of it, like you should do. If there's anyone say something bad... don't ever listen. They're not God, they can't read future to know whether it will last or not!

If this is happen on FB, i will put her on my block list. I don't need negative people. I think it bit childish attacking people on FB. Maybe she just bored and had no boyfriend to cuddle with or tease with on webcam :P

Just ignore her... you both in love, thats what matters most!

[Mxchaela]

This happens to me a lot. No one really knows when it comes to my peers, but when I want to tell family they sometimes turn their heads. And I'm also overly-sensitive about it because my SO means so much to me.

Normally I just brush it off, or talk to him about it. You aren't alone though, obviously. Don't listen to her.

[PooleArmyofFour]

Sadly, there are a lot of people out there who are so miserable in their own lives that they find pleasure in being complete downers to others who are happy. This seems particularly common when LDRs are involved. Now, I understand that sometimes people are acting out of sincere concern for you and your well-being (they don't want to see you get hurt), but others are just hell bent on being mean for the sport of it. LDRs take a lot of time, patience, sacrifice and trust...they are more taxing than other relationships in so many ways (not to say that you don't have to work at traditional relationships, but I think everyone knows what I mean since we're all in the same boat). We rely on our connection to sustain when physical distance prevents us from sharing the same airspace. This is further complicated, and usually even more misunderstood, when you haven't ever shared the same airspace and met online,etc. Those are the ones "friends' usually have the most difficulty with. They don't understand how someone can have such intense feelings for someone they've never kissed (and some of my guy friends use the "you don't know how they are in bed" stupidity...as if that is really what is important). My soldier soul mate and I have been together for two months and we each knew in the first week of speaking, after having met through a chance card exchange through a soldier support site, that we were going to spend the rest of our lives together. Most of my friends are happy and excited, but there is a small group who are just downright rude and mean about it. I've learned to brush them off and just focus on the happiness I'm feeling. It's hard, especially when people go out of their way to be obnoxious, but just keep doing that. If they are really your friend, they'll be happy for you too and not act out. Keep your head up and best wishes!