Cyber LDR... Can it work for me?

[Edh448]

Hey, I've been in a LDR for over a year now and I been liking it. We met online on this social network and usually talk on the phone and facebook.

My girlfriend is in Florida and I'm in New England is this LDR worth continuing?

I feel like she really loves me....but family says girls always talk to a man to make them feel like their interested in them when really they're not.

Please give me some advice on LDRs and how I can make it worthwhile.

[TknandLvnIt]

Have you two made plans to meet up? I think that is one of the first steps in deciding if your relationship is worth keeping and if you both want it to work and if the love and chemistry you feel now is real. I also suggest Skype or some other video chatting service in addition to the forms of communication you currently use.

[LadyMarchHare]

If you're willing to make it work, it can work. As suggested, meeting each other in person if at all possible is definitely a way to go to solidify the relationship. Communication as a whole is key as well since it's really all you have. Talk on the phone, use webcams, text, IM, e-mail, write letters, do all that you can. Set up schedules to talk if there's a time difference or a big schedule difference such as college or what have you. But like I said, as long as you're willing to make it work no matter what that means whether it's saying sorry when you don't really mean it, setting aside your pride to make up for a misunderstanding, or listening to any garbage your family or her family might spew, it can work.

[Edh448]

Yea I will try to solidify the LDR with this girl. I hope that in 2011 we can somehow meet each other for once.

[blankita719]

Welcome - My SO is in NH and I'm in FL, and we make it work

And what your family says is not true. If I'm not interested in someone, then I may be polite to them and say hello but not involve myself in a year long relationship with them online. Like has been said before, communication is the key to a healthy relationship, long distance or otherwise. Best of luck!

[Silviar]

No one can say the LDR is worth continuing but you, since you know all of the ins and outs, ups and downs. Only you know if it makes you happy and is worth continuing. I would highly recommend talking about meeting up and seeing how you work out in person.

[agentholli]

I have been with my bf for a year...and we haven't met. We met online, and we video chat and talk on the phone. We never ever just chatted on msn or whatever. We did write emails the first year of our relationship. I have known im for 2 1/2 years now. We became a "couple" after we started talking on the phone.

I agree with blankita...if a girl is NOT interested in you, she isn't going to invest a year of her time. She might say hello and have a little conversation with you, but not on the phone and what not, all the time. That is crazy what your family said.

You are the only one that really knows if it is worth it. LDR's are worth it..look at all of us here, some have waited years and years to see their SO (Significant Other). If you want it to work, it can work. Yes, meeting in person will help..but also, the deep lengthy conversations that you have on the phone can also validate how strong your relationship is. I know that figuring out how strong your relationship is, is different for everyone..but I am just saying that, that is how I know that he loves me and that he is worth it for me.

People are going to say alot of garbage...you just either don't talk to them about your relationship, or just take what they stay in stride. It is part of an LDR. Good luck to you!

[Richard Marks]

Only you can decide if this LDR is worth it. However the fact that she has invested a year of time and energy, and money into this relationship shows she is committed to you, and the fact that you have also invested a year of time, effort and money into it shows that you are committed to her.

Already after a year you are proving your family wrong. They can say what they like, but in practice it is very very hard to keep anyone hanging onto a pipe dream for more than a couple of months. Especially if it requires the amount of effort a LDR for a year requires.

Plan a meeting with her so you can spend time physically together, but also just continue to invest the way you have been doing (phone calls, IM's, Skype, Emails, Letters, Gifts etc) and you will find that a LDR is worth it.

Final word. Be understanding of your parents as well, they just want the best for you. Unfortunately they have only heard of the negative side of LDR's, how one took anothers money and gave nothing in return etc. These are the things that the media thrives on and feeds to the rest of the world. But as a counterpoint there are plenty of people on this website who have experienced LDR's and even married their SO (I am one of them). We are living, breathing proof that LDR's can and do work.

[Karringtyn]

Follow your heart. LDR's are hard...but if both hearts are in it...it WILL work. We have been together over a year and I am happier than ever.