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its weird knowing that my caring is causing problems...

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    its weird knowing that my caring is causing problems...

    Been together 2 months as of tomorrow. First month. Amazing.
    Second month? We're barely talking to each other anymore, when we do it is either about some show we're watching or just "nm" "u" "o nm either" stuff and it drives me insane.

    Something is clearly wrong - she'll even admit to it - but she refuses to talk to me about it ever.

    We did end up talking a few days ago as to what we thought about our relationship and she said she seemed unhappy, as if something was missing, but she didn't know what. We decided to try and focus on making things work as much as possible ... then today happens.

    Tells me she's having a tooth ache and has had one for past few days, but can't afford to go to the dentists...so I offer to help her pay for it. She declines, then later continues to complain about her tooth so I reextend the offer and she pretty much just switches subject right away.

    Then while later I'm mentioning ideas as to how we can make things more interesting in our relationship and she goes "Why?" ... "Uh, because I think it'd be fun to do something more than our normal just talk on MSN deal..." "I guess." "Just trying to find something fun to do with you. oh well"

    then she gets pissy again and "yeah, going to bed." As if she no longer wants to talk to me because I did something wrong.

    Ask her to wait a second and explain to her that everything'd been fine earlier in the day, but all of a sudden I offer to help her with her dental issues, then mention I'm thinking of something fun we can do together and she goes into total pissy mode and just want to know why...remind that we can't get through any problems we have if we don't talk about them."

    Then she goes on a "well i don't want to talk about it now so good night" I mention we still need to talk about this and she just laughs "HA" as if to say "Fat chance." then signs off...

    Perhaps I went about it the wrong way I don't know, but ... I'm putting my all into this, trying to figure out whats going on ...

    and well I guess I just wonder ... have any of you gone through anything similar and how'd you make it through it all?

    #2
    hmmm, well maybe she likes to be independent? Maybe she feels like you helping her makes her less then you? i don't know really. I am trying to think about what it would be. I think that I would be a little defense if my bf offered to help..at first..because for me, I want to take care of my own problems and i feel stupid when he sees just how bad off finanically i am. Then I would probably let him help me if I needed it that bad. But if I didn't let him help me, I would just shrug it off, not get all pissy.

    I really don't like that she went all pissy and stopped talking to you..that is strange. I wish I had better advice for you. Good luck!

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      #3
      the only advice I can have is that there's a breakdown in how she sees the conversation versus you. Ask her ot describe how she felt in her words, and ask her what she wants from you to keep things vibrant and going. Then listen.


      LFAD Book Challenge: 34/100 Complete

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        #4
        Only a thought but if she really has bad toothache I can sort of understand the pissyness. When I have a headache/period pain/any kind of pain it makes me terribly moody and cranky, too.
        If it has been going on for longer, though... I have no idea.

        Być tam, zawsze tam, gdzie Ty.

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          #5
          She might just be having a bad few days, I completely understand. Sometimes I've gotten like that and just been a downright asshole to my poor baby

          Just give her some space, I guess. Let her know how much you care about her and let her know you'll always be ready to talk about things when she wants to. If you guys are talking and things are getting monotonous, try doing something nice for her to help her get out of her funk. You could write her a poem, leave her a nice voicemail, or draw her a cute/funny picture or something? Just anything to change the pace of the old boring MSN conversations. Good luck!

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