Feeling Paranoid? We're just girls being girls

[theitchinc]

Sometimes we think too much
but its normal cause I guess every girl here would.
And this "thinking too much" might one day cost our sanity!
So if anything you feel paranoid about your SO do describe your paranoid-ity here and perhaps you'll see you're not alone in this cause some of your LFAD friends might be feeling the same as you.

I guess I need this thread alot to keep my sane for a my sake.

[Butterfly]

Believe me, I am sure I will be posting on this thread sometime very soon!

I did want to comment now though just to add that my New Years resolution was to worry less! I really need to stop sweating the small stuff and worrying about everyone and everything. Why do we (women especially) do this to ourselves!?!

We shall see how long my resolution lasts!

Great thread!

[amandamayaaa]

Believe me, I am sure I will be posting on this thread sometime very soon!

I did want to comment now though just to add that my New Years resolution was to worry less! I really need to stop sweating the small stuff and worrying about everyone and everything. Why do we (women especially) do this to ourselves!?!

We shall see how long my resolution lasts!

Great thread!

haha this is my resolution too! i agree though, i worry and think wayyy too much about everything and it causes a lot of little fights in our relationship that shouldn't happen

[Richard Marks]

You know this post does not have to belong to girls alone. Guys can get paranoid about stuff as well.

[stacyrose]

Worrying less about little things is DEFINITELY my resolution for the year...I've stressed myself out the past several months over stupid little things and I'm going to just try and enjoy myself more and try and stay positive. =]

I agree, this post definitely applies to men as well!

[Jackie-O-hio]

I'm paranoid ALLLL the time!!!!!!!! me and my SO were together for a year then he got his job offer and I'm so scared he's going to meet someone then change his mind about closing the distance and run off with some other women. then the 1st person to befriends him at work was a female- and she invites him out, to parties at her home and to go to different places around the city. If we were in the same city this would not be an issue, I would have met this lady by now. But now I just get to hear about it's enough to drive any one insane.

[Moon]

I've gotta say, and flame me if you'd like, but I kinda hate the "just being a girl" excuse, it's pretty sexist for one and saying "Oh, I'm just being a girl!" isn't a good reason for paranoid behavior! Being a girl doesn't give you an automatic pass to excuse your actions, and I feel that attitude gives women everywhere a bad name, we're NOT all like that!

Being in an LDR takes trust, and if you can't trust your partner from a distance, its time to re-think the whole LDR thing. Last time I visited my guy, he had to work, and I was alone at his place. It never even crossed my mind to go through his stuff, check his email, or go through his phone. If he says he's going somewhere, or doing something, I believe him. Unless he gives me reason not to, he's got my trust. I don't worry when he's out with his friends, or if I don't hear from him for a day or two, he's got to live his life as normally as he can with a girlfriend who's over 4000 miles away. He's a busy guy with work, friends and family things to do, let alone making sure he always has time for me somehow

I didn't get this way overnight, it takes time to build that trust inside a relationship, and a bit of maturity too, I might add. Please don't use the "just being a girl" stuff, because not every girl thinks that way. Don't get me wrong, we all worry about the ones we love, but it should never be at a level where you constantly stress yourself out like that! Relax, you'll make your life much nicer that way

[mllebamako]

I've gotta say, and flame me if you'd like, but I kinda hate the "just being a girl" excuse, it's pretty sexist for one and saying "Oh, I'm just being a girl!" isn't a good reason for paranoid behavior! Being a girl doesn't give you an automatic pass to excuse your actions, and I feel that attitude gives women everywhere a bad name, we're NOT all like that!

Being in an LDR takes trust, and if you can't trust your partner from a distance, its time to re-think the whole LDR thing. Last time I visited my guy, he had to work, and I was alone at his place. It never even crossed my mind to go through his stuff, check his email, or go through his phone. If he says he's going somewhere, or doing something, I believe him. Unless he gives me reason not to, he's got my trust. I don't worry when he's out with his friends, or if I don't hear from him for a day or two, he's got to live his life as normally as he can with a girlfriend who's over 4000 miles away. He's a busy guy with work, friends and family things to do, let alone making sure he always has time for me somehow

I didn't get this way overnight, it takes time to build that trust inside a relationship, and a bit of maturity too, I might add. Please don't use the "just being a girl" stuff, because not every girl thinks that way. Don't get me wrong, we all worry about the ones we love, but it should never be at a level where you constantly stress yourself out like that! Relax, you'll make your life much nicer that way

Yes. Yes. and...... Yes.

[paulawriteslove]

I get paranoid pretty easily! Sometimes when I don't hear from my SO for a few hours and I know he's was driving some where I get nervous that something happened to him. But we've made a promise to text each other to let one another know that we're safe once we get somewhere, and so far it's been working. But sometimes he forgets...typical guy

[Dziubka]

I actually think that in our relationship my boyfriend is more of a worrier than me. Some days I'm either quite busy or don't do anything interesting at all, so I don't message him like until 5pm and it always (without fail) provokes a lot of "Do you still remember me?"/"Have you forgotten about your poor Polish boyfriend?"/etc texts...

It's not paranoid-ty, though. He just misses me and wants to hear that I think about him (which I do).
Like Moon said, trust is soo important. In any relationship, but especially in LDRs. Theoretically my boyfriend could pick up a different girl every weekend without me ever finding out about it. His word is really all I have and if I couldn't believe him, there'd be zero chance for a relationship.
I know form experience that if a guy doesn't trust me, I have a *really* hard time staying faithful.

[snow_girl]

Agreed. Trust is all you really have in a LDR. I texted my bf a few hours ago and haven't had a reply yet...sure I am anxiously waiting to hear from him, but I am not going crazy wondering where he or who he is with. I've told him in the past that in order for us to work I need to know I have his full commitment. The moment he or I decide we don't want to be with each other instead of going behind each others back and cheating (Because it would be ooooh so easy when he is on the other side of the Atlantic) we need to express our feelings then and there. Not sting me along to save my feelings and end my making a fool of me. Knowing that, I am worry free. If I don't talk to him for a couple days I realize that we both have busy schedules and don't get upset.

[Kyleeee]

I don't get why it's acceptable to be a crazy girlfriend. LDRs, as with ANY other relationship require trust. LDRs more than most because of the Distance and extended periods without seeing each other. I have never once been jealous of or really second-thunk what my fiancée was doing or who she was with. I have been worried about her safety occasionally, or in some rare cases, I've been worried about guys creeping but not because of jealousy but just because I don't want her to be in one of those awkward situations. But she can handle herself very well and I trust her and know her very well. I mean, we're engaged so there has to be trust and commitment there. So if you're going to get yourself ulcers from worrying about that stuff then maybe it's time to re-evaluate your suitability for a long distance relationship.

[Moon]

I don't get why it's acceptable to be a crazy girlfriend.

^^That!^^ You summed up my thoughts in one quick sentence! C'mon ladies, let's show a little dignity and grace, OK? Please?

[Mfashnik]

Trust is so so important. I agree. I get paranoid a lot, but it isn't about whether or not my SO's interest is shifting to someone else. When I don't hear from him for a while I usually worry that he's gotten into a car accident or something else has happened to him.

[FadedSunrise]

Trust is so so important. I agree. I get paranoid a lot, but it isn't about whether or not my SO's interest is shifting to someone else. When I don't hear from him for a while I usually worry that he's gotten into a car accident or something else has happened to him.

This. I could have written this.