I dont know what to do anymore!!

[KiwiLove]

Hello everyone!

First of all, I want to wish to everyone a happy new year!!

Its been a long time since I have posted last, but things didnt happen so well for me and my SO and I also think this post will be my last one since Im just not strong enough to write everything in here...
I had christmas holidays since the 20st of december until yesterday.
The first week I stayed at hme since I had my 21st birthday and christmas with the whole family. At my birthday, my SO have sent me a really cute message and aswell at christmas morning he have sent me a message which said that I will be in his thoughts and heart always.
At the 26th he didnt message me the whole day (I knew his sister came to visite him over xmas) so tried to call him several times.
A day after I went to my skiing vacation with my cousin my best friend and her sister.

I still didnt get any message so I decided to message him whats going on.
He messaged back and said he was out with his siter and her boyfriend. Thats fine with me but is it such an effort to txt your gf?! I mean I also have the time to message him whenever even if im with my girls on vacation.

Well, during the day he tried to call me because I didnt reply. But I told him I dont wanna talk to him today since Im a bit disappointed of him...
The following day I texted him in the morning, saying I want to talk to him to sort things out but because the time difference he was already asleep when I had lunch break from skiing.

This was going on like that the whole week until the day before new years eve.
Then I thought he will message me at least at midnight (even if I wished he would call, because I think thats the only right thing what he could do after that rought week) but he didnt even message...

I txted him saying I believe every guy is just the same and after he txted back saying thats not true becasue his feelings for me are so strong, he were asleep becasue he had an early night and didnt went out...At the first of january we talked on the phone for quite a long timeand we had an argue. I told him Im hurting pretty much becasue it seems he doesnt care at all anymore. When I almost hung up he told me he loves me and hes sorry for what happend. I only said good bye since I was so hurt.


Yesterday he texted me saying hes so sorry for everythiing what happend and there is no way he wants to lose me. I texted him back saying that it takes a lot of work to get the confidense back. I need time now to trust him again..that he really mean it serious.

What do you think? Have you had something like this? And can someone give me adivce how to go on from here? I also dont want to lose him and I told him that but it all seems so fuzzy at the moment. I know that I love him but I cant say it at the moment because Im scared to get hurt again....It would be so nice if someone could help me!! :-(



Im sorry for this long post and I really do appreciate it for everyone who read it till the end!!!!

[lucybelle]

Hmm... I have to say that I feel like you overreacted a bit. It seems to me that you got mad because he didn't text you as often as you wanted him to, for a few days??? That's no reason for you to "lose confidence" in him. He was with his family during the holidays, it's easy to get side tracked. I think you're being too harsh, and he's trying really hard. You've told him you were upset he didn't call/text, now move on. There's no reason to hold a grudge. He apologized, you have to let it go now. Move on with your relationship or you will lose him.

[KiwiLove]

Well, I think I have forgotten to write about that he were with his friends new years eve and for me there is no reason why he can not text. I mean it has been rough the whole week and I think that would have been a good change to make things work better, or not?

And when I wanted to call him last saturday he just said its not a good time to call because hes at a friends. I think if it really is important as much as it is important to me he would have wanted to call straight and wouldnt have let me wait for more than one and a half hour.

Sometimes it just seems really every guy is the same at the end. For some guys you can do nothing and they are treating you not good and for others you do everything and they still dont appreciate it.

I dont know..by the side I have to say it takes a lot for me to trust in a guy. Since I made bad experiences in the past.

[Silviar]

In LDR's, you have to be willing to have a certain amount of flexibility, especially with a time difference involved. The holidays in particular are a busy time for everyone - even your schedule was decently busy. I know how hard it is in LDR. I completely understand the time difference.

What I would do instead is focus on figuring out what exactly he can do to make you feel happy and secure in the relationship. Him trying to call you and speak with you shows he was trying to apologize and give you time and attention, and telling him all guys are the same doesn't give him anything to work towards and meet you in the middle for having a happy relationship.

The thing is, though, if you're having problems trusting in a guy because of your bad past experiences, you need to work on YOUR trust issues and find ways for you to be a confident, self-assured young woman. Him doing all of the work in the world won't make you happy and confident. It has to come from yourself first in order to be happy in a relationship.

[snow_girl]

The things you said he has said about loving you and being sorry sound sincere. Yes its not hard to text you when he is out with friends, but he should be able to go out and not have to worry about checking his phone every 10 minutes just incase you messaged him. I think it would be rude to his friends to constantly have his face in his phone. It sucks not talking to your guy as much as you want but like the previous post said, it takes flexibility trust and patience, you've got to know that just cause he doesn't reply right away or can't talk when you want him to doesn't mean anything is going on that you should be worried about.

[NaNi]

My SO sometimes doesn't always have the time to email me, and while it does suck, you can't do anything about it. Life keeps one busy. I wouldn't go all crazy about it though. It happens. Especially with a huge time difference. My SO also lives in New Zealand and is therefore 12 hours ahead of me.

[Obsydian]

We had a similar problem over the holidays, but the holidays will do that. Family, etc. I overreacted a lot and got close to leaving him cause I'm an emotional fool, but we're good now, and very happy again. Just relax, things will be fine.

[FadedSunrise]

Oh yea, we definitely had the holidays problem. He called me on both xmas and nye, and I didn't pick up the first time either time. He kept trying though, and I eventually picked up and we talked. I feel like it's a trade-he's trying in so many ways to reach me, so I'm going to take a little time out of my celebrations to talk to him. Oh, and 16 hour time difference :shakes fist:

[Sano]

First let me tell you I understand you situation completely. My bf and I were having communication problems like that a while ago too. I know that you were mad but you do have to try and understand that he probably really didn't think his lack contact was hurting you at all. It may take some effort but you can't over reeact and want to end your relationship because you're upset right now. You both need to calmly talk about the amount of contact you think you need from him and give him a chance to try and be there for you. Dont jump to conclusions about what he's doing when he isn't calling you. Calm down, patience is very important