What's the most difficult thing in your LDR ?

[Cucaratcha]

Hi there !

Apart from not having the possibilty to be physically with your partner, if you could change something in your LDR, something that annoys you, or makes it more difficult, what would it be ?


- Personally, I would say the time difference. We have 6 hrs, and we'll have 7 when it will be summer time... It's really frustrating sometimes. I personally stay late or wake up early to speak with her... I'd like to have the possibilty to say good night to each other at the same time, or with maximum 3 hours difference.

[FadedSunrise]

Time difference and language barrier both take the cake. Time difference is 16 hrs, 15 with DST, which leaves me two choices everyday to contact him(factoring in our schedules)-7am in the morning, which is super early, or 6pm at night, when I could easily be busy doing other stuff during the school year. He's so damn understanding though, so that's been...ok, at least.

Language barrier, because for all intents and purposes my Mandarin is ok(he only speaks Mandarin), but it is still not perfect enough that I rely only on that. And that frustrates me.

[garnet]

Our biggest issue was a lack of money. Couldn't afford international phone calls, texts, or more frequent visits.

[LadyMarchHare]

I think right now it's the lack of communication. He works 12 hour shifts 7 days a week and has been since late May/early June. So conversations are rare and I miss them especially when I know he's off but we don't talk anyway. Phone calls I'm lucky to get one once a month, we haven't IMed since early November, and text messages are MAYBE once a week. It gets pretty lonely.

[SamiWami]

Communication sucks right now. I hardly ever get to talk to him. Maybe once every 2 weeks or so. I wish we could talk all the time like we used to! But, he's out trying to make a living =(

[LostInLove]

I would say money on my part. I've got a lot on my plate at the moment, and I just got a car as well which will be yet another (but much-needed) expense. I was hoping to go somewhere special for his birthday, but I don't think that'll happen now.

[Cucaratcha]

OMG, how do you manage this lack of communication ?
When I don't have at least an email or an SMS a day of my girlfriend, I get mad, I feel unloved... it's probably not the case, but I think I need a lot of communication, that's why sometimes I sleep 4 hours per night...

Have you ever felt that way ?

[CanadianGirl]

For me, the biggest problem is my painfully "traditional" family. I've been with my boyfriend for some time now and we both see a future with each other, but I am terrified to introduce my family to him. My mother is a typical South Asian mom and she definitely disproves of interracial relationships. We'll work it out though. We've already come so far.

[EBKitty]

I have to say it's time in general and the unknown. That's broad, but we don't have time schedule's like some on here, like when we'll actually get to see each other or when and/if we'll close the distance. It sucks to know time can't be on someone's side :/

And the unknown because we aren't sure of things yet. We love each other very much, and that won't change, but it's the knowing of that we don't know when things to go in our favor.

Other than those, yes texting and calling seem to be a big one for us. Skyping is for me I can't seem to be able to sit down and skype. Plus I get very nervous on there. I know my SO does too, he makes it more apparent with his giggling and blushing

But we're hoping for the best in everything. We'd like to change some things, but right now, we are happy with what we have.

[princessmeg1328]

For us, it's our schedules especially this coming semester. I'll be student teaching so I won't get home until around 4 at the earliest. There's a 6 hour time difference between us so it'll already be late for him, and he has to wake up early for work. We'll probably only get to talk on the weekends since I'm not allowed to use my phone while at the school.

[samglam209]

I'm actually very lucky and get to txt my boyfriend everyday. Skyping more often would be nice but really money. I need a job badly but the SO has an interview today and if he gets that job he's going to come see me asap and I'm very happy about that.

[Dziubka]

I totally couldn't do with that little communication. We talk on the phone for about 1h daily and send tons of texts back and forth and I already feel that that isn't a lot. If he wasn't living in another country I'd def call him more often.

Anyway, money. The travelling being so effing expensive and getting more expensive all the time is quite hard.
And that Closing the Distance, whatever it will look like, is going to be a bunch of complicated, most likely quite expensive paperwork.

If I could change something I'd have Lufthansa/Lot bring back the good promotions they used to have. I don't mind booking early (in fact... I love knowing when exactly I'll see the love of my life) so when Lufthansa had more of the 99€ tickets for Europe, it was quite ok. This year however...

[lucybelle]

Hmm I think maybe the biggest thing for my SO and I is our jobs and not being able to take time off. He gets only a few vacation days a year and he spends them all with me. But that only ends up being about 2 weeks. Same for me. I'm in my 1st year teaching so I don't have a lot of sick days saved up to take off. Hell, if I had enough days to take a week off I would! I'd buy my ticket tomorrow and be there Friday! Traveling isn't cheap, but it's the one thing I spend my money on. (check out my thermostat - 50 degrees F, refrigerator - barren, or furniture - free, if you don't believe me...)

[milaya]

Think it's the fact that we can't plan things in advance. His work changes his schedules without further warnings. So he can't just say "okay so I have 4 weeks vacation in April... then I'll go to Denmark". Everything has to be done last minute... especially lately. Me going to Japan later this month to see him was decided really last minute (after his work changed his vacation in Febuary so he had to cancel his visit that month). Preparations are a mess, at least I got to apply for the renewal of my passport today. And because of all these schedule changes, we've also faced soo many disappointments.

That's why I've decided to stop planning things. It's actually started to brainwash me a bit... My friend was talking about a travel in June and she was wondering when to buy the tickets... and I caught myself almost saying: "don't buy them now! You never know what can happen until then. Maybe you'll have to cancel!".
That's when I realized what my SO and his work has done to me. I've gotten afraid of planning.

Also our communication are not the greatest during his work weeks. (he works for 5 weeks. 12 hours everyday... then have 5 weeks off (not so much in reality though)) So his 12 hours of work and the 8 hour time difference really makes communication difficult. Think we talk for about 30 min. 3 times a week. Sometimes I feel like we don't just look forward to see each other in his vacations, but also "just" talking is something we also have to look forward to.

[Yorkshire Girl]

If I could change one thing it would be that time goes so much faster when we are apart. Time seems to standstill sometimes, which may be down to the fact I am constabtly checking the time to assess how fast time is actually going. I just cannot wait for him to come home in 8 weeks time. This is the last time we are apart for so long, because next December we are visitting his family together, Him for a couple of months and Ill join him for a month. So 1 month apart out of the whole year is worth waiting these next 8 weeks for.

Communication is complex. He has no access to internet or a landline. So i cant Skype, Facebook, email him. He used to have internet but they moved and now they dont have it or a landline. They all just use there mobiles. Its expensive to call his mobile so we usually speak once a week and text message morning and night.

But I love him, and these things are just minor obstacles which we have already overcome with routine.