I think he's lying to me

[luna_banana]

...

[Silviar]

Do you have reasons to suspect him of lying? What if this wasn't the tutor he was talking about? I guess I'm wondering what made you go and check rather than believing him at his word - have there been trust issues in the past?

Bottom line is, you snooped and now you're worried, so you've really only got two options: stay silent, or fess up. If you stay silent, it's probably going to eat at you unless you can come to terms with it. If you confront him with your concerns, you're going to have to admit that you checked up on his tutoring. I can't guarantee this will give you the answer you're looking for, but it should at least bring the matter out into the open for discussion.

Good luck hun.

[paulawriteslove]

I agree with Silviar, is there a reason that you arn't trusting his word? Personally I think that you should fess up because if you let it sit with you then it will just eat you up inside. Try to nip this situation in the bud before it has time to develop into something much bigger.

[snow_girl]

Trust is the absolute most important thing in a LDR! You are far enough away that he could do anything behind your back without you knowing, that being said if you don't trust your SO completely you will not last long in the relationship. Perhaps instead of going behind his back and checking up on what he was saying was true or not (no matter how odd it sounded) you should man up and confront him head on.

If you honestly have concern to be suspicious of what he said then confront him, but if you find out that he was telling the truth don't be surprised if he in turn has trust issues in the future towards you.

[Michelle]

Ask him how tutoring went.

Then if he lies and says he actually met up with his teacher for a tutoring session, fess up and let him know that you called the school. If he is truthful and says he got the time messed up, then still tell him what you did.

[folclor]

hey, I had tutoring sessions with my physics teacher before tests that would be at 6PM-10PM in high school (yes, was for the entire class, we had pizza and Coke and studied till our brains hurt). What's done is done, though. and I agree with Michelle on what you should do, I was just including my own experiences to show you that, while wacky, it's not out of the blue to have tutoring late at night.

[dealradh]

I struggled with maths in high school and had extra tutoring, outside of the school, in the evenings to get me through my GCSE. Could it be something like this?

[Zephii]

I think that we have instincts for a reason, and that you should trust them. I'd be asking how tutoring went, like Michelle suggested, and go from there.

[Karringtyn]

I think that we have instincts for a reason, and that you should trust them. I'd be asking how tutoring went, like Michelle suggested, and go from there.

I totally agree.

[Cucaratcha]

Unless if you have an unreasonable personality
I am when it's about love. I quite often understand situations in the wrong way when it's a bit different as what it should be in my mind... and I think everytime, I'm wrong, and I realise it after when I speak further with her..

I don't know if you can understand, difficult for me to explain it in english, as it's not my mother tongue :o

[lucybelle]

I'm a teacher. My after school tutorials are from 3:45-5:00. I can't imagine a teacher wanting to stay for LONGER than that. Especially cuz after school ends (3:35 where I teach) you don't get paid. And I remind my kids of that all the time. "Quit acting a fool while I'm not being paid to deal with your attitude!"

[samglam209]

Not that the "teachers" want to but I have heard of people being at school that late before. Especially for sports. I agree with Michelle that you should ask him about it. Thats the only way to find out for sure.

[Moon]

Michelle's idea sounds really good. Unless you're always like this (snooping and stuff), your gut was telling you something, and you followed up on it. Has he done anything like this before? The problem with snooping is half finding out something, you don't know if there's a perfectly reasonable explanation, or he's a lying douchebag. Good luck, I hope this turns out to just be something silly, like he got his schedule confused.

[luna_banana]

Well I'm pretty sure he actually was at tutoring, since I found out the teacher does actually have tutoring then. But the reason I was suspicious is because he's lied to me before, we used to have problems with it. Sorry about making a big deal of it

[Karringtyn]

You weren't making a big deal hon, you were asking for advice.....that's what we do we all support each other!