You already know, why do I need to tell you?

[tiffinnie]

The topic says it.
I found myself sitting and wondering where the boy that told me how I'm beautiful every single day multiple times a day went. So I asked. The response I got was "You know you're beautiful, I don't have to keep telling you that anymore now that you know it."

>.< Dear boy, that does not mean stop telling me that. I like it.

Then he went camping with the boys for new years (its summer there) and when he came back after 3 or 4 days of not talking I tried to keep myself from posting insanely needy things all over FB and I told him "I missed you!!" and he said "i know."
ok thanks.

THEN!!! I kept saying "I love you" and getting smiley faces back... Then I started getting angry. So yesterday I brought it up to a friend and she said that whenever her love does that to her she just plays it off like "oh I see how it is! you don't love me! fail!" and so I did this to see what would happen...

"what are you talking about?! You know I love you. I don't have to tell you, you already know it."

DEAR GOD BOY YOUR LOGIC SUCKS!

Ok, I need to keep in mind that this is his first real relationship... he is 22 and has many "relations" before but none that were actually "relationship" worthy... just... *cough*

So I'm not a noob in the relationship aspect and definitely not new in the LDR aspect (this is my 4th... crazy as it sounds, I prefer to start things off LD, which I'll be happy to explain my standpoint about that if anyone really wants to know) but he is. Where he is new, I am not, and visa versa.

SO!!!!! Dear forum addicts... what do you think? have you every had this happen? how would you handle this? how do I make it stop? how do I make it go back to normal and without being rude or sounding angry or hurt how do I get the point across that I WANT him to tell me he loves me and that I'm beautiful even if he thinks he doesnt need to because now I already know it...


RAWR thisgamesucks.

[Altessa]

Perhaps when he says "you already know", just playfully respond with "But I love hearing it anyway! " or "But I love it when you say it" will give him a not-so-subtle hint? And just explain to him that even though you know he loves you, there isn't any harm in saying it. Hope this helps somewhat!

[LadyMarchHare]

I agree with Altessa. Some guys, when they think the girl knows they're loved and so on, quit saying it because they believe it's unnecessary. Telling him you want to hear it anyway because you like it will give him a reason to keep saying it.

[agentholli]

are you calling me a forum addict?!? I think you will need to just flat out tell him that you need to hear it. I don't think it will hurt his feelings if you tell him what you need. Thats my two cents!

[paulawriteslove]

I would just tell him, "I know that you love me but I absolutely love hearing you say it! "

[Cucaratcha]

Just tell him you won't die by an overdose of love

[Silviar]

This reminds me of a conversation my boyfriend and I have every couple of months. People are not good at realizing the maintenance relationships take sometime. just because you've heard it before doesn't mean you don't need to keep hearing it. It's as important to keep healthy attitudes and positives in a relationship - they're like booster shots and healthy nutrition for a relationship.

Since I like it when my boyfriend compliments me (and he's very good about keeping up his end of contributing compliments), I make sure to tell him when he does something that I like and enjoy. I tell him every so often how much I appreciate that he compliments me, and how good it makes me feel - and how it helps me be a more positive, self-assured person hearing his approval of me.

Another way to help get your point across might be reading the book "The Five Love Languages" together. It explains in a very easy to understand way why these things are important for a healthy, loving relationship, and how much they help keep a relationship solid. Plus it'll give you guys something to discuss.

[Stephanieeee]

I actually completly understand why you'd like to start things off in long distance first, you get to know if its really worth it or not before dealing with all the drama of a relationship.
As for your issue, I would be kinda annoyed too. Its always nice hearing those things, no matter how many times they're told to you, or how many ways he decides to say it.
I always like to go back and re-read cute emails he sent me cause it reminds me of why we're here to begin with, ya know. You should always remind eachother of the things you love about one another, and more importantly, that you love one another.
I wouldn't go a day without saying I love you. Or getting one in return.
But that's just me.

[Richard Marks]

Oh man. Those words of his are a classic case of 'foot in mouth disease' LOL.

I realized a while ago that if I pay compliments to my wife (even if she already knows them) it will bring out the most beautiful part of her - her smile. You need to let him know that you require the "Your beautiful", "Your sexy" and other comments like that so that you don't feel like a spare wheel in his life.

So sit him down, and let him know in no uncertain terms that he needs to feed this relationship by paying you compliments. Just as long as you pay him compliments back.

[tiffinnie]

So sit him down, and let him know in no uncertain terms that he needs to feed this relationship by paying you compliments. Just as long as you pay him compliments back.

Truuuuust me, that boy's ego is now pushing its way into other galaxies with the compliments that I can't help but to pay him...



Thanks everyone, I kinda talked to him about it and there are more "I love you"s now buuuuuut we still need to work on the compliments... I mean... he's gettin' there again.

[hxcbreakdance]

It sucks I know, I had an ex who would compliment me everyday and then he just got kinda lazy about it. Stupid boys! I just called him out and told him that I still wanted to be called beautiful etc. because it made me feel special but he never listened to me lol but perhaps telling your SO that up front will make him realize that it means a lot to you to hear those things often.

[tiffinnie]

I do believe my boyfriend took a vacation and let aliens take over his body and mind... but now he is back and tells me he loves me and I'm beautiful at random since I talked to him about it and told him how it was making me feel. YAY FOR THINGS GOING BACK TO NORMAL (sorta)

[LadyMarchHare]

Well hopefully he did indeed get the message and it stays this way. Glad to hear things are going better on that note.