Support

[Mfashnik]

Something that I have found to be very frustrating about my LDR is that I have little or no support within my friends and family. I don't like to discuss any concerns or issues I may be having with my relationship with any of my friends or family, because their advice is almost always that we should end it. Even if I'm not struggling with my relationship friends and family seem incredibly negative about my relationship and often times even discount it's intensity.

I was wondering if you guys have a similar experience? And if so how to you deal with it?

[snow_girl]

I'm sorry to hear you don't have support from your friends and family, but you sure do have all of us! I don't think any of the people here will ever get annoyed about hearing about problems or run out of support.

[princessmia]

My dad is totally non supportive of my LDR.
It's hard..
What I do is try to not let it bug me, and just ignore anything and they say...don't let it get you down. You know deep down in your heart that this is right--some people I've found don't understand why you would want someone so far away..but when you know that person and that they are meant for you, you just KNOW. And some people are envious for you being so strong and dealing with it as well, because they themselves could never possible do that...and it comes out as being 'unsupportive.'
I've discovered that my dad won't be supportive of my relationship or acknowledge it more is until he meets my SO, and sees that this is real, and that he makes me a happy. The day that you close the distance with your SO, you can all shove it in everyone's faces!

[FadedSunrise]

I'm lucky to have my best friend, who totally understands, totally supports it, and genuinely thinks he's a good guy-because she went with me on the study abroad semester, and got to know him too. But other than that, I don't really have much else either.

[NoNeed2SayGoodbye]

I am going through a little bit of the same thing as well. It does get lonely sometimes because you feel like you can't really speak to anyone about your relationship, though there are other ways of getting support such as through this online community. Also, keeping a diary or blog helps get feelings out when you need it. The place where I have the most support is from my boyfriend. You two are in the relationship together and it is very important to support each other. There will always be people who don't support your relationship but you have to try and not let it get the best of you. Stay strong and perhaps with time they will come around.

[true_survivor_586]

I dont have the same problem you have i have an amazing amount of support, but i just want you to know that still doesnt make it easy. People telling you "you will be fine", "when he gets back everything will be ok", and all that such only helps temporary. You really gotta find that strength in yourself (i dont get to talk to my SO very often so i cant depend on him for it)

[LadyMarchHare]

I just recently gained support from my therapist, but since the beginning my mom's been against my relationship. I learned to not broach the tender subject with her and if she wanted to pick fights to not give in. It's hard when the people around you are not as open as we are, but it's not the end of the world either because you at least have your SO's support and that's better than nothing.

[Luisina]

I think a lot of us are fighting off these ignorant/hurtful/insulting comments..

until recently, I thought most people in my life understood... and while my family does 100% (they've even sent him a package recently^^), most of my friends just don't care. Which is fine, I guess... but it's hurtful when they get annoyed with me for occationally bringing up my boyfriend.
It's like, THEY are allowed to be sad, tell about ups and downs, bitch about guys and other relationship problems, but I'm not... naturally. cause my relationship isn't real.. since we're not physically together

On New Year's one of my best friends even brought it up and kinda humiliated me, while discussing her own problems (- which she's CONSTANTLY blabbering about.. I consider myself a good, patient friend, but when I say constantly, I mean con-stant-ly!)
She wouldn't shut up about us.. and while I started out trying to defend myself, I soon gave up and left.. I don't think she even noticed that I was tearing up.
She was quite drunk, though. But still. I've been telling myself that her behaviour was caused by the alcohol and her current messy love life.

So yeah, I get it... And it's so DAMN frustrating not to be seen as a legit couple because of a "few" miles (and oceans -_-) separating us... narrow-minded morons.

I'm really sorry it's getting to you
So far I've just tried to shake it off.. sorry that I don't have any good advice - other than hanging out in here and discussing any ups and downs with us
But then again, my LDR is over in about 2 months so it's not going to be a long-term problem..
Still, don't get me wrong - if I'm ridiculed ONE more time, my patience will not last - I WILL bite...

Anyway, *HUGS* you're definitely not alone.

[Yorkshire Girl]

Luckily my family and friends are very supportive. BUT I think this is due to the fact that me and my SO live together in the UK. The only reason why he is away is to visit his family and friends in his home country, but also to have his surgery to fix his shattered collarbone.

But one thing that does annoy me is when friends constantly moan and bitch about their relationships. I just sit there thinking .... Hello, get a bloody grip. Do you know how lucky you are!

In all fairness your relationship with your SO is probably more valid and loving, trusting and honest than your friends'. So hang in there and remember that your relationship is a strong one, one that can overcome the distance =)

[hillke]

But one thing that does annoy me is when friends constantly moan and bitch about their relationships. I just sit there thinking .... Hello, get a bloody grip. Do you know how lucky you are!

COMPLETELY AGREE. I try to be patient and understanding but seriously.... especially when it's been a long time since I've seen him. I just can't feel bad for you and your pithy relationship issues when my boyfriend is 2000 miles away.