Measurement Escapade (sorry, long!)
Hi everyone,
[Background: As you know, I have been struggling with poor feelings about weight gain recently (see many of my past threads and a specific blog entry about it) and have gained even more weight over the Christmas break. I am taking steps to now register in some dance, yoga, and maybe even some cardio programs like Zumba (I received some assistance from the rec centre for fees--yay!) to shape up in the New Year, but I know that changes aren't going to happen over night. My SO and I continue with our fitness goal board game, which is good, too (but the goals are very diverse, like everything from reading more and watching the tv less to doing crunches and I keep declaring ones for going for walks, but it has been cold, rainy, and gross...so no weight loss has happened). So, as much as I have been feeling down about it, in the past few days I actually feel better now that I feel like I am taking lots of steps in the right direction.]
However, today I noticed that my SO has made a birthday wish on our website (if you haven't heard about that, we basically grant each other birthday wishes that can be used all year and more can be earned. Sometimes the wishes can be simple or quite involved and unless they are compromising in some way, we try our best to grant them) and he hasn't used a wish in quite some time. I was excited, at first, but approached it with some trepidation since the title was "Measurement Wish." Ah, well, it was what I thought it was--he wants my waist, upper hip, and lower hip measurements. Before there is a rampant outcry, he did say that he wants to get me something special and ideally that he wouldn't have had to ask about it, but he wants to get it right. My guess is that he is getting me lingerie (if this needs to be moved to the adult section, let me know--I'm not going to say anything explicit, but just talk about clothes). I love lingerie and I have hinted that it would make me feel really flattered if he did get me some (and we have flirted over my love for lingerie almost from the beginning). Plus, I am sure he is sick of me wearing flannel pjs and I don't always like wearing lingerie that came from my ex boyfriends in front of him.
I was concerned about my weight before, but now I feel absolutely mortified and like I can't tell him measurements like that until I work off all the flab! (I'm about 145lbs, when my own ideal would be 110-115 and a likely healthy medium with muscle would be 120-125. Also, my hips have really bulged out and my nice waist has basically gone into definite flab). On top of that, I am feeling extra sensitive about his comments right now. I was happy to go through ideas for me to do in the rec guide (since I was happy to hear the news that I would get some assistance towards the classes), but when he suggested almost three classes that all had to do with toning the butt and tummy...I was feeling pretty glum (I haven't actually told him yet that I noticed his wish, but it just felt to me like there was a bit of pressure).
I'm not sure what to do, because I would really like a gift like that, but for when I look fitter, though I think it might be a Valentine's gift in the works (which means I can't put it off for long). I would feel emphatically embarrassed, poor about myself, and open up a whole can of worms that I am not ready to talk about with him yet, if I was honest and said "I don't want to tell you my measurements, until I lose some weight first. I have gotten out of shape being at home and it makes me embarrassed." I know that many of you believe in full disclosure, but insecurities about weight (even at too skinny) have plagued me all of my life, so it isn't like I can just suck it up. I have, I thought, told him my underwear and bra size in the past and that made me feel a little uncomfortable (though, I thought it would help him), but actual measurements make me feel ughhh...! He wants to keep the gift a secret as much as he can, so I doubt that he would just let me look at a sizing chart. Anyone have any tips?
P.S. I suppose he could be planning to get me a skirt from a nice clothing shop (but that's a pretty weird gift for him to keep a secret when it is so hard to find the right sizes for anyone) or get a ballet skirt (but they usually only come in a few sizes and don't need exact measurements). ...but maybe you guys can think of something I haven't.
[Background: As you know, I have been struggling with poor feelings about weight gain recently (see many of my past threads and a specific blog entry about it) and have gained even more weight over the Christmas break. I am taking steps to now register in some dance, yoga, and maybe even some cardio programs like Zumba (I received some assistance from the rec centre for fees--yay!) to shape up in the New Year, but I know that changes aren't going to happen over night. My SO and I continue with our fitness goal board game, which is good, too (but the goals are very diverse, like everything from reading more and watching the tv less to doing crunches and I keep declaring ones for going for walks, but it has been cold, rainy, and gross...so no weight loss has happened). So, as much as I have been feeling down about it, in the past few days I actually feel better now that I feel like I am taking lots of steps in the right direction.]
However, today I noticed that my SO has made a birthday wish on our website (if you haven't heard about that, we basically grant each other birthday wishes that can be used all year and more can be earned. Sometimes the wishes can be simple or quite involved and unless they are compromising in some way, we try our best to grant them) and he hasn't used a wish in quite some time. I was excited, at first, but approached it with some trepidation since the title was "Measurement Wish." Ah, well, it was what I thought it was--he wants my waist, upper hip, and lower hip measurements. Before there is a rampant outcry, he did say that he wants to get me something special and ideally that he wouldn't have had to ask about it, but he wants to get it right. My guess is that he is getting me lingerie (if this needs to be moved to the adult section, let me know--I'm not going to say anything explicit, but just talk about clothes). I love lingerie and I have hinted that it would make me feel really flattered if he did get me some (and we have flirted over my love for lingerie almost from the beginning). Plus, I am sure he is sick of me wearing flannel pjs and I don't always like wearing lingerie that came from my ex boyfriends in front of him.
I was concerned about my weight before, but now I feel absolutely mortified and like I can't tell him measurements like that until I work off all the flab! (I'm about 145lbs, when my own ideal would be 110-115 and a likely healthy medium with muscle would be 120-125. Also, my hips have really bulged out and my nice waist has basically gone into definite flab). On top of that, I am feeling extra sensitive about his comments right now. I was happy to go through ideas for me to do in the rec guide (since I was happy to hear the news that I would get some assistance towards the classes), but when he suggested almost three classes that all had to do with toning the butt and tummy...I was feeling pretty glum (I haven't actually told him yet that I noticed his wish, but it just felt to me like there was a bit of pressure).
I'm not sure what to do, because I would really like a gift like that, but for when I look fitter, though I think it might be a Valentine's gift in the works (which means I can't put it off for long). I would feel emphatically embarrassed, poor about myself, and open up a whole can of worms that I am not ready to talk about with him yet, if I was honest and said "I don't want to tell you my measurements, until I lose some weight first. I have gotten out of shape being at home and it makes me embarrassed." I know that many of you believe in full disclosure, but insecurities about weight (even at too skinny) have plagued me all of my life, so it isn't like I can just suck it up. I have, I thought, told him my underwear and bra size in the past and that made me feel a little uncomfortable (though, I thought it would help him), but actual measurements make me feel ughhh...! He wants to keep the gift a secret as much as he can, so I doubt that he would just let me look at a sizing chart. Anyone have any tips?
P.S. I suppose he could be planning to get me a skirt from a nice clothing shop (but that's a pretty weird gift for him to keep a secret when it is so hard to find the right sizes for anyone) or get a ballet skirt (but they usually only come in a few sizes and don't need exact measurements). ...but maybe you guys can think of something I haven't.
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