More distant after a visit?

[sabby64]

It seems that every time I come home after or a visit or my SO leaves we stop talking for awhile. We don't webcam, call or anything, and there's not many texts. It makes me really sad because I want to talk to him, but I know that we've both gotta get our lives back in check before things can go back to normal. And in all honesty I don't even really know what to say when we DO talk, so there's alot of silence... It sucks. And this goes on for a week or two after.

Does anyone else feel more distant from their SO right after a visit? How do you cope with it?

[Micah]

I am not extremely distant after a visit, but my SO can be at times. He tells me that he gets into a funk where he is sort of depressed and misses me after we part. I am the same way, but it makes me want to talk to him more. He is different to where he is the type that kind of becomes quiet when and keeps to himself when he is missing me. Also, I think it's sort of hard to go back to texting and phonecalls after days of physically being together because it just pales in comparison to being there. So, I just have come to expect a decrease in communication and am now growing used to it. Also, I did a similar thread about this a while back. Here's the link:

https://members.lovingfromadistance....-after-a-visit

[Anolinde]

I get that, after our first visit together we've stopped webcamming as much as we used to aswell. Which really hurts but it's due to a couple different things. I think it just means you're both missing each other and the distance feeling is just a part of that, so I wouldn't worry too much about it.

[LostInLove]

I'm the opposite, I feel super clingy right after a trip. As soon as he's out of my sight it's all I can do not to call him and talk to him until my battery dies. Thankfully I think he's similar, because he definitely texts me a lot more right after I leave.

[mllebamako]

We still talk the same amount after a visit but we definitely have more silences. I think before the visit, you are so excited and have loads to talk about, like plans for the upcoming trip. And then after the visit, it is hard to know that the stretch of time until your next visit is so big and you don't want to dwell on saying how much you miss each other, so it's more quiet.

[Stina83]

We still talk the same amount after a visit but we definitely have more silences. I think before the visit, you are so excited and have loads to talk about, like plans for the upcoming trip. And then after the visit, it is hard to know that the stretch of time until your next visit is so big and you don't want to dwell on saying how much you miss each other, so it's more quiet.

Agreed. I think that's quite normal, and I wouldn't worry about it

[Silviar]

We've had that after each visit. I think it's the body's way of trying to recuperate after the shock of losing someone (again), if that makes sense. How about both of you making sure you have something to do right after you part, so you have something to talk about? Or maybe you can plan your next online date for when they return - that helps, too.

[NaNi]

My SO and I are quite distant at the moment.

We had the most wonderful time when she was with me, but now we only seem to have tensions and they last quite a long time.

I set up a webcam date, but she's going to have breakfast with her friends on that day.

That's something I really hate about being apart again. You spend every single day together and then it's back to normal again, friends want to meet you and you don't have much time anymore. For each other.

It hurts.

[BoogleBee]

I set up a webcam date, but she's going to have breakfast with her friends on that day.

Just so people know the breakfast was organised a couple of months ago. I didn't choose to have breakfast after the webcam date was planned.

But yes we are distant..and I don't want to be. I hate it. I want us to be happy. I miss being with her so much.