asking my parents if i can go to canada...

[xsomanymilesx]

as many of you know my SO is moving at the end of august to the UK where i live.
hes visited me and my family in october, then hes coming in february for 10 days...
so i was thinking i could go around beginning of august for say... 3 weeks and meet his family - then hoping all works out we can fly back together
ive never been international before so this is also exciting for me his parents have already agreed that i can stay with them.
i was just wondering how i should ask my parents. ive weighed out pros and cons...

CONS -
1. they are paying for the most of it since i have no job (they told me not to have a job in college)
2. ive never travelled alone without my parents so they will be worried
3. they have never met his parents
4. general worries about me being away in a foreign country

PROS -
1. he has come here twice to see me, and i want to go and see his family too before he comes here to live - since he wont be able to afford to go back for a holiday so i can meet them.
2. i havent been on a family holiday for.. this being the second year.. so really they have paid over 1000 pounds for my sister to go on holiday with them and it would be nice if they could help me out for my holiday
3. i will be 2 weeks off turning 18 when i come back - i could go as part of my 18th birthday present?
4. i will be getting my bonds off my dad (hopefully) so i could pay them back when i turn 18.
5. the fact i just REALLY REALLY want to go.

my main question here is - how does a 17 year old girl ask her parents if she can go and stay at her boyfriends , 3000 miles away for 3 weeks this summer?
how do i approach it? and if they react with a NO how do i talk to them calmly about going?

all advice is helpful!

[Silviar]

So, when we had the opposite problem, (My SO visiting me), what I did was I wrote a letter to his mum talking about how I'd keep him safe, I vouched for anything that happened I'd take care of him, and what a wonderful opportunity it was for him to not only visit a new country, but an important step in our relationship. If your family is ok with you two going out, I think you can approach it as something you'd like to start discussing because it's all of those things for you - and him. I would also encourage your SO to send an email or letter if they have any sort of decent relationship at all. Finally, I would also suggest your parents meeting each other via skype - that will help as well.

[Silviar]

I forgot to add, doh - good luck!

[xsomanymilesx]

ahhh thanks, i like the letter idea. it sounds goooood
and the skype thing - we will definitely have to do ! that will for sure put my mums mind at ease.
i was wondering if i should ask her when hes here? or before he comes or after he leaves in feb?

[bluepotato1236]

i agreed with the above...besides that, when your SO come and visit you this February, that might be a good chance for both of you to approach..i have a conservative parents..and like you i never travel to other country alone especially to meet and stay with a "guy"..I asked and talk to my parents about me going to the USA..but they give me a "NO"..So when my SO come and visit me, he talk to my parents..he tell him that he will take care of me..and he convince them why i have to go..
1) i need to meet his parents as well..
2) his parents cant come to Malaysia and it will be easier and cheaper for 1person (me) to go there instead of his parents (mum&dad)
3) his dad is busy so unable to take a long holiday (since we are international LDR..7000++miles)
and that night..i get a YES from my mum and dad..:-D

[bluepotato1236]

to answer your question..give a hint to your parents before your SO comes in feb..so when your SO come and talk about it, they wont be as surprise..:-P

[sabby64]

I would have your parents talk to his parent to arrange things, to give them some peace of mind. If they know that you are being looked after and what exactly will be happening it will be alot more convincing then a simple "Hey, can I go to Canada for a bit?" XD

I'm sure making a bit of money towards the trip to show that it's important to you would also be a good thing, if you could manage it without having a job (say by selling baked goods or scarves or something)... Also just generally showing more responsibility will also help, like keeping things clean or not missing any classes or whatever you could improve on.

Those were my ideas. Good luck!!

[Karringtyn]

I would definitely bring it up a little before he comes in February and then talk while he is there. The letter idea is great!!!

[xsomanymilesx]

im not sure about asking when hes here because i dont want my parents to feel like pressured to say yes. i mean it would be great if they did say yes but i dont want them to do it just for the sake of it then change their mind

[Stephanieeee]

bahaha, i quite literally was in this exact same situation. with an overly protective father to boot.
basically, the way i asked wasn't a very good one. i sort of just made my dad so sad that he finally agreed that i could do what i want, but he wouldn't help me. so thankfully i found a way to purchase my own ticket and do it all on my own. but basically just explain that its important for you to see the way he lives day to day to make sure that you're making the right choice by him moving here to live with you. make it more about you then about him, cause i know my parents wouldn't buy that. show mad responsibility as well. and basically just kiss ass until they say yes.