Why do people say things like this?

[kelsey23]

So my boyfriend is currently in Navy boot camp and after he has 5-10 of physical training before heading to SEALs training. And apparently like 30% of people who start SEALs training actually graduate. I was telling some friends what he was doing and one of them just laughed and said that he wouldnt make it. And he doesnt even know my boyfriend and how determined he is to become a Navy SEAL. I was so pissed off about this and I'm hesitant to talk to my boyfriends about it because I dont know if it would piss him off or not. Plus I heard that the guy who said it likes me and has for a while, but I dont think of him like that because we are friends. And he is the only one of my friends not supportive of me and my boyfriend. Should I talk to my friend or just let it go? Because if he is gonna keep being an asshole i dont think I really want to be friends with him anymore.

[Silviar]

If that was my friend, I'd be blunt an say "Why do you think that?" And enjoy listening to them stumble around on their words. If your friend is an unsupportive jerkface, then why keep him around?

[Caity]

I agree with Silviar. There's not much point in being friends if they're going to be horrible to you. I can see why he would be unsupportive and say stuff like this if he fancied you, in the hopes of possibly getting you to dump your bf so he could go out with you instead. If this is the case I would stay away from him if I could, or tell him to back-off cause you're taken and don't want to leave your bf.

[Rach321]

If your friend brings it up again, I'd definitely talk to him and tell him that it's unacceptable for him to make assumptions like that and you don't appreciate it. But if it doesn't come up again, I wouldn't make a big deal out of it. My boyfriend's a former SEAL. People often don't believe me when I tell them, or they make judgements. I think it's often out of jealousy and insecurity- especially if this friend fancies you and knows he doesn't have a chance. There isn't a lot you can do about that.

If your boyfriend really wants it and works hard, he can do it. The key is persistence above all. And I mean PERSISTENCE. I've never met anyone as determined as my SO. Be supportive and encouraging of him, and I wish him the best!

[Karringtyn]

Best of luck to your boyfriend..that is awesome! As far as your "friend" I would respond next time with....."and you are saying this WHY?" and let HIM be the uncomfortable one..

[Jack V.]

I think some people need to drag other people down because they don't feel good about their own lives. You don't need friends like that.

[Dauntedpoet]

I agree with everyone else. It sounds like this 'friend' isn't. An LDR is tough enough. You don't need friends like that. If it were me, I wouldn't tell my boyfriend right now, unless he asked specifically, but I would tell him I wasn't hanging out with the jerkface because he was being a jerk. Then after he becomes a SEAL tell him what jerkface said.

[LadyMarchHare]

Just because the guy likes you doesn't mean he needs to be a grade A asswipe about your guy. He doesn't know him and from the sounds of it, doesn't want to. I'd confront the guy, personally, and tell him the remark upset you and that he needs to watch his tongue. If he keeps it up I'd cut him from your life because whether it's directed at you, your SO, or a hobo, assholes aren't cool and no one needs one in their lives.

[luna_banana]

I've been through something like this quite a few times. Guys that like you will bad-mouth your boyfriend and your relationship. They do it because they are jealous. They think "why is she dating some guy on the other side of the country/world when I'm right here and she could be dating ME?" Its partially out of jealousy and being immature, but they also hope that if they talk crap about your boyfriend enough they may be able to discourage you enough that you'll consider breaking up with your boyfriend. That's the disadvantage of being in an LDR when there's competition, because you have these jealous guys talking badly about your relationship EVERY DAY, and your communication with your SO is so limited that sometimes its almost hard to not listen to them

Next time this guy says something hurtful about your SO or relationship, I'd tell him that you really don't appreciate his crap and if he wants to keep being your friend, he'll keep his thoughts to himself concerning your relationship. I hope he doesn't cause any more problems in the future.

[usmcgirl]

This happened to me a while back, because my SO is training to be a Marine and a sort-of-ex-boyfriend-former-best-friend said "You know only like, 20 out of 100 make it, right?" But because I knew the guy, I understood he was simply trying to make my SO's dream (to be a Marine) seem futile and stupid. Later, I realized that's why most people say sh*t like that. Don't let it bother you. I wouldn't tell your boyfriend and I would defietnely not hang out with the guy anymore. good luck!

[Deleted]

I made a similar thread to this some weeks ago. I do not know your SO, so I would not know if you should tell him or not. In my case, I told my SO and he wants to punch the guy on the face, but he's not at all angry at me, he feels glad that I trust him enough to tell him about these things. This guy would say my SO would starve to death for studying arts and that he must be really dumb, that I was too smart for him, and that he was probably cheating on me. He was unsupportive about my relationship in every aspect and directly told me to break up.

If this guy likes you, he will be an ass to you about your SO and your relationship. Do as I did, stay away from thsi guy. There was a day when I got pretty sensible because I missed my SO and this "friend"'s stupid words about my relationship kept running through my head and they made me have a few days of depression.

I'm sure your boyfriend is very perseverant and he can be what he wants, or at least try really really hard and that's something to be proud of. I bet this guy who likes you is jealous of him because he has you and he has a great goal in life, don't listen to that guy. NEVER let his words get into your head! you SO can do everything he is determined to!

And believe me, you do want to stay away from these kind of "friends" (sorry for being a blunt here, I'm still in the process of getting out of my own problem and I get emotive with this). Recently this guy uses every stupid excuse to touch my face or look into my eyes really closely or grab my hand. He's a doctor and just takes my hand to ask me about my scratches (I have a playful kitty), or gets too close to see why my eyes are irritated.

About telling your SO about it, it depends on how your SO is. Mine gets angry but appreciates I tell him what's going on in my life, specially if it has something to do with him...but if your SO is the kind that could get sensible about it, perhaps you'd rather hide it. If you want to read more about these "friends", you could PM anytime, many nice people gave me advice on it when I posted my thread.

I wish your SO good luck in his goals I'm sure he can do it!

[Lady Death]

OKay, next time your male "friend" decides to talk about that again, ask him: "Why don't YOU try it?"
And if he still seems/acts jealous or disapproving of your boyfriend and does anything to ruin your relationship, steer clear of him.

I mean, if he's a d*ck, there's no reason for you to stick.

[xbriellex]

You shouldn't let him pull you down because of his comments because you know what the truth is. I think if this keeps happening a lot, make sure you talk to him, either he stays as your 'friend' and shut his mouth or just quit hanging around with you.