This is weird. . . I'm probably being crazy.

[Mfashnik]

Today my SO texted me and told me that he really wants to try and visit me every month this year. If I were a normal person this probably would have made me really happy considering in the past we've gone as long as seven months without seeing one another. However, I'm really reluctant to get my hopes up about this, because there have been many instances in the past when he has planned to visit and at the last minute been forced to cancel for various reasons leaving me more or less a complete lonely mess.
Now I'm not sure how I feel about seeing him so often and so regularly. I feel like I was just starting to get used to the distance and long intervals apart. I know that I should feel happy and blessed to have a SO who is willing and able to trek down here every month to spend some time with me, but I'm concerned about being disappointed if something comes up and prevents him from coming.

And of course there's the constant fear in the back of my mind that things will be different when we see each other more often and maybe not in a good way.

Am I crazy? Have any of you had similar experiences?

[snow_girl]

If things turn sour seeing him more often then its probably better to figure that out now then it would be years later when you plan to close the distance. I would be thrilled to see my SO that often, I imagine unless you aren't meant to be it would only strengthen your bond. Ya it sucks if he has to cancel or when you say goodbye, but you know that so why worry more just enjoy that extra time with him.

[pytsip]

It doesn't sound like you're not happy to have this, it just sounds like you're scared. Don't be pessimistic about it, look at the glass half full instead! I also tend to look at the negative because I feel like if I get my hopes up about it that I'll just be disappointed about it, but I've learned that it just not a good way of going through life. So what, if something comes up something comes up, each time you have gotten over it (I hope) and if it were to happen this time around then just shrug it off and wait for the next month. I don't think you're crazy, I think you're just putting up a wall because you're afraid of being disappointed or hurt if it doesn't work out, but just try to think about the good in this plan of his and not the bad.

[threecheers9980]

I completely know what it's like. Joe and I haven't seen each other since last July. We've planned visits and even a trip to Disneyland, but none of it panned out. We're now planning to see each other for Valentine's Day and he says that we'll try to plan visits every other month until we're able to close the distance. Because I've been disappointed in the last few months, I can't help but feel like I shouldn't get my hopes up about our upcoming visit or seeing each other every other month. But at the same time I trying very hard to feel optimistic. I feel like if I'm negative about it, then none of it will work out. I hope you can try to be optimistic about it.

[Mfashnik]

I know I'm being a little doom and gloom about the situation. Which is sad, because my New year's resolution was to be more positive specifically about my relationship. Unfortunately, no more than two hours after I made this post I received a call from my SO during which he told me he wrecked his car due to icy roads. . . so there goes our plans for this month. I'm used to this kind of thing by now and I'm not really upset or disappointed. I'm relieved that he is safe and sound and wasn't at all hurt in the accident, but now I wish I could be there to help comfort him, because the poor thing has had a terrible start to the new year.

It's so odd how that worked out though.

I appreciate the support. It really means a lot to me to be apart of this community and since joining I have found it so much easier to be positive about my relationship, because I know that you are all experiencing the same or more difficult situations. It is always so nice to know that I'm not alone in this.

[Stina83]

Yeah, it does sound you're just scared, and not that you don't want to see him. I agree with the whole being more positive about things. But at the same time, I would probably be mad, if my SO cancelled on me too often. A few times can happen, but to cancel on you too often just isn't ok (obviously wrecking his car is a pretty good excuse though, and glad he's safe!). If I were you, I'd tell him that I don't think he should make plans until he's sure that he can stick to them. Just because you don't want to get dissapointed all the time and lose trust in him.
How great that he's willing to come see you once a month though. I'd be absolutely thrilled

[luna_banana]

Maybe instead of making what sounds like half-attempts to see you every month, you could suggest that you guys make several 100% dedicated plans to see each other once every few months. So instead of trying to fit a visit in around a busy schedule, you guys can schedule visits months in advance, and then plan the other events in your life around these visits. That way you guys can probably have more time to see each other, too