Afraid I won't have time to commit to this relationship, and feeling bad about it...

[FadedSunrise]

so far, so good in LDR land. It may be hard missing him, but this week I began slowly realizing that at least, we're pretty lucky-both of us have predictable schedules, and we get 2 monster 4 hour vid chat sessions a week. I feel myself getting closer and closer to him, and I absolutely love the feeling. I find myself fantasizing about far into the future with him in it, and I'm glowing at the idea. He makes me feel like the most wonderful girl ever, which I'm both befuddled and extremely happy about. I never want this to end.

However, my busy period is just about to begin. To sum up, basically, I am an aspiring law school student. And I will not. settle. for any less. than top 15 schools. My entire undergraduate career has been built on this premise.
Thus, from February till basically the end of this year, I'm going to be swamped under:
1. self study for the LSAT
2. an LSAT prep course in the summer
3. finding another internship, and probably working at it 15-20 hrs a week.
4. Keeping my gpa up and above 3.85 at ALL costs. Preferably raise it back up to 3.9+. Preferably a 4.0 this semester.

Given the way my classes are scheduled, and the insane amount of studying time I'm going to need for all of that, and then the 16hr time difference between soCal and China, I'm afraid it's going to be really really easy for the poor SO to drop to the bottom of my priority list.

On the other hand, I'm really conflicted. This is my first relationship, and every piece of advice I've heard prior has been "A boyfriend should fit into your life, not the other way around. You must still work towards your goals". Plus, not sure how many of you read my previous thread(in a time not too soon after I'd gotten back from China, and my emotions were in such turmoil), but the ongoing with no end in sight issue with my mom and her case. It is my main motivation to get into law school and settle for no less than top 15. Preferably top 10. I would feel like I failed as a daughter if I dropped my focus on this aspect.

I have the sad pathetic habit of thinking myself into a circle, so thus, when that time comes, I decide to come post threads and bug you all. What do yall think I should do? Cut back on some of my ferocity in life to have time with the SO? Don't cut back, but schedule it very very well? Tell him that I really really like you, but I don't have time for a relationship in this period of my life?(As much as I like him, and want to cry just at typing the thought of breaking up, I think my heart still has loyalties to my old goals and thoughts first and foremost)...something else?

I'm so confused, and so tired these days from working 15 hrs a week saving money for my next visit @___@

And sorry this was super long. D:

[mllebamako]

Well, personally, I think you need to stop putting so much pressure on yourself. It's nice to have ambitious goals but, in my opinion, it's unhealthy to be saying things like:

I would feel like I failed as a daughter if I dropped my focus on this aspect.

And I will not. settle. for any less. than top 15 schools.

It wouldn't be the end of the world if you didn't get into all these schools. It's not really my business, I just think you are putting too much pressure on yourself.

As for what to do, only you can decide that. But I don't think you have to completely sacrifice your goals or your relationship. Having an LDR doesn't take THAT much time. Maybe just talk to him about cutting down the talking time a bit. For example, me and my SO meet on skype every night for 30 minutes. I'm sure you would be able to find time in your schedule for something like that.

[Mara]

I'm on the opposite of a similar situation. My SO is an aspiring business executive. He only has a term or two left and then, he will be finished with his degree. This means that he spends a lot of time studying trying to raise his average for grad school, he also spends a lot of time networking with different companies so in case he doesn't go straight to grad school he can have a job, and on top of it he also works a good 20 hours a week to support himself.

I don't see why you can't accomplish your goals and be with your SO. Yes, it isn't easy for me or my SO to be in this situation. It makes me sad that we can't talk as much as we once did, but I understand his ambitions and I support him in them as I'm sure your SO supports you. Sometimes, we do only get to talk for a few minutes a day, but we usually supplement this when he's really busy with email. It's more convenient because either one of us can be asleep or doing something else and then we'll just respond to the other when we have time.

I'm sure that you and your SO can find a way to make things work. =)

[BabyGund]

Can I tell you the story of my BFF from HS? We both aspired to be attorneys. She was much more serious about it then I was - she was like you. "Must have 3.80 GPA" "Must score 165 or above on LSAT" "Must get into top 10 law school".

Well, she did all that. Maintained a 4.0 at Stanford Law. Got her dream position working for the Federal Courts - she's been with them for 12 years. You know what she told me at her wedding in October?

"After 2-3 years, no one cared I scored 170 on the LSAT, or that I went to Stanford Law or that had a 4.0 GPA - it really didn't matter. And the clerks we hire now may not have gone to top 10 schools, but excelled at their law school and are extremely well-rounded individuals. I wish I had smelled the roses and enjoyed my time in college and law school, now I can't get that back."

Nothing wrong with ambition - just make sure you stop and smell the roses. You cannot get that time in your life back! And she's right. After a certain period of time, it doesn't matter.

[lucybelle]

For about half a year my SO and I only emailed each other maybe once a week, more like once every two weeks, with no other communication. It was hard, but we made it through. He was busy with all sorts of stuff and we just never had the time to chat. Now that things have cleared up, we chat once a day, and talk on skype once a day.

I guess what I'm trying to say is IT CAN BE DONE. Both of you need to understand why the communication is uncommon. And if you're dying to chat once a week, find a time slot one day and chat for 30 minutes.

Good luck

[FadedSunrise]

Sorry for all the overreacting >___<

I will definitely at least try to make it work, before I do something stupid like calling it quits already.