help with parents!

[mpmuffin]

So hi. I'm Mayra, I'm eighteen and in a ldr. Me and my SO have been together for two years and in a ldr for about 6 months. We are separated because of college but i hope to be able to go his college this coming fall of 2011. The thing is i believe my mom is having major trust issues. My SO came down for Christmas and during that time we had no privacy, we were never left alone, could never do something without anyone asking what we were doing or where we were going. Once we went to a park nearby at night, and they went later to check on us! i mean we are adults here! We have never done anything wrong and all of the sudden they decide to watch our every move. and this worries me that it can hurt our relationship due to my parents really not trusting us, and it makes it harder for me to try to convince them to let me go to my SOs college. I mean everyone eventually leaves their home but my mom doesn't let me. My SO and i have discussed this a lot and we find no reason for her to say no. Our plan is this: i go to college over there and be with him, which is better than here because i am very alone here, i got only a handful of friends and its very hard to make friends in my college since most of the students there come from the same high school and yeah they have their clicks and stuff made, and i came from a different high school. and im also very shy so i believe a new school will be much better to socialize. 2nd, the college cost exactly the same yet it offers classes that i need for my major that my current college does not have. This way i can get more classes and finish my career quicker. 3rd. I can live with my SO, his dad, and his grandma, in a four bedroom house and the rent is going to be just 200-300 dollars which is pretty good. The school is just five minutes away which is not a lot gas spending compared to how i am right now because the school is 30 minutes away, PLUS i have to do about 1 and a half to 2 hours of line to cross to the US to go to school. I never spend a lot of money and i save most of what i have including my financial aid, so i can afford the rent and can get a job. I will have my SO with me who has always helped me when i find a course hard so i think i will do better at school than being on my own here since i have always had a hard time with math and chem so hes kind of my tutor. AND my mom knows that for sure that he helps me tremendously. Also the university i want to transfer to is just an hour away so i can keep on track with things by checking in. I will only be a year with him but its better than another year of long distance. When i discussed this with her, all of this, the one thing she told me that may be a valid obstacle was money. Having enough money for everything. But then she brought along other stuff completely uncalled for and hurtful for my SO because she said " what if his dad rapes you?" WHAT?!?!?!?!This hurt my SO a lot because its his dad we are talking about, how can she think that my SO would pt me in that kind of danger if he did not know what his dad was like, besides his dad is very religious and nice. So i need help and support to feel that this is possible and i don't know if someone has other good points to helping me move out and go to college over there.

[snow_girl]

Maybe your mom is just afraid to let you go and doesn't know how to voice it.

[Čternity]

So if where you are going is only an hour away, why couldnt you and your mom go up there and meet your SO's family? (Did I read this wrong, if so, apologies)

[sabby64]

No offense, you're 18, legally you can do whatever you want. My parents tried to pull that on me and I moved out the next day. It's just something they gotta learn at some point. To me it sounds like going to his school is the best choice because of all of the benefits, so if that's what you want to do then go for it!!

[LostInLove]

I think your mom is doing what mom's do best, and that's worrying for your safety. If your mom's anything like my mom (and by the sounds of it she may be), she'll have heard all kinds of stories on the news of young girls getting taken advantage of by people they thought they could trust. Add that to the fact you'll be far away from her and she can't be there to help you, and I'm guessing she's just panicking a bit and worrying about how you'll manage on your own.

I agree that it would probably help immensly if there's any way you can work out your mom and your SO's dad meeting, even if it's over skype or something like that. It'll give her a better understanding of who your staying with, and hopefully help calm her down. But I really don't think she means to be hurtful, she's just trying to keep you safe because she'd probably never forgive herself if you went away and something like that happened to you.

[mpmuffin]

Not quite, the college i want to tranfer to, where my SO is is 8 hours away, the university i want to go after is an hour away from my SO.