In need of advice. :\

[Loial]

Hey everyone.

So... I met my boyfriend (I guess you could call him an ex-but-not-quite) back in June. I'm in WA, he's in CA, and we immediately took a liking to each other. We finally confessed in July, and dated for a while, but we broke it off because of the distance (and of course there were other complications way after that but that's another story all together) basically and became "friends," whatever that means. December rolled around, we're still in love, and we get back into our relationship. We plan a ton, and we're completely starstruck again, but then this week rolls around and he tells me we have to break up again because of the distance and repeat the process all over again. He's coming up here in April so I'm definitely excited for the prospects of that because I love him so much and I'm thinking that we might be able to tolerate the distance again and be in a steady relationship for a long time until we're closer but I'm just completely dead these days. I have barely any hope that he's going to want to date me and not someone else within those four months and to be honest I'm really scared and lonely and I have absolutely no idea what to do... if I lose him I feel like I'll lose a part of myself and that idea just completely kills me. Does anyone have any advice in what to do in this type of situation?

- Loial

[LadyMarchHare]

Did he have a reason besides "the distance" this second go-round when you broke up? Because to do that out of the blue smells to me of he either wants his freedom so he can date or he has found someone to date. It may not be the case, but it's a possibility. Is this trip solid, like does he already have the plane ticket?

Some people can't handle physical distance the way others can, which does result in distance-related breakups but you can't expect the 'readiness' to just fall in your lap. Talk with your guy and figure out just what he can't handle about the distance, figure out what YOU can't handle, then see if there's a solution to it. Naturally the kissing and holding hands can't be fixed but those are minor things in a relationship. Buy webcams, set webcam dates for once a week or whenever you're both not busy, write letters, send pictures and gifts, talk on the phone or use Skype. There are tons of things to do long distance, so maybe have a look around the site and forum to gather ideas. Best of luck.

[Silviar]

How out of the blue are we talking the whole break-up thing? If there was absolutely nothing else going on, that's a red flag - like he might want to keep you 'on the side' but date there. Either he's in, or he's out of a relationship. Yes, long-distance presents challenges, but it also gives you so many wonderful skills in turn that'll give you a solid together relationship for long-term.