Me thinking

[Kika]

Solved.

[LadyMarchHare]

If he's saying things like you aren't the one and he can't imagine being with you in the long run, I don't honestly think you need to be staying with him. Whatever his reasons for not breaking up with you are, they can't be that he feels totally committed to the relationship or that he honest to goodness loves you. If you want to try salvaging the relationship you may try asking him directly just why he's with you and tell him how what he said made you feel, then see if he's willing to take that leap and see if you really are 'the one' and if he can imagine a future, kids or not, with you. If not, it may be time to move on to greener pastures.

[Kika]

If he's saying things like you aren't the one and he can't imagine being with you in the long run, I don't honestly think you need to be staying with him. Whatever his reasons for not breaking up with you are, they can't be that he feels totally committed to the relationship or that he honest to goodness loves you. If you want to try salvaging the relationship you may try asking him directly just why he's with you and tell him how what he said made you feel, then see if he's willing to take that leap and see if you really are 'the one' and if he can imagine a future, kids or not, with you. If not, it may be time to move on to greener pastures.

that's the thing, he said it 3-4 months ago on a forum, and at that time we were just enjoying the relationship and not talking about stuff like that, but since that, he told me in person he thinks I am the one, joked about marriage and stuff. Without me talking about it or giving him hints what I want to hear. That's why I am confused - If he has changed his mind since that and is sincere with me or if he's lying to me because he likes me and still doesn't believe in our future.

[LadyMarchHare]

Then ask him about it. There's no harm in asking him if he honestly means all of it or if he still has the mindset of months ago, because you deserve to know if you're being jerked around or not. You don't have to be accusatory about it, but you can ask. If you feel he's lying, maybe ask one of his friends if you know them enough.

[Kika]

Thanks, I will ask him, otherwise I will be wondering all the time if this relationship has future.

[Caitlin2009]

*raises eyebrow* i dont think you should be with him if he's gonna think like that! the idea of a LDR is having that persons full commitment to you because eventually your gonna close the distance at some point, i dunno he seems like the type of guy who if he gets bored with a girl after awhile he'll dump her and go find someone else to fill his time, with that being said trust is a big part of an LDR its the foundation of it if you dont have that especially in any relationship then there is no relationship, it would be hard to trust someone if they told me that

[Kika]

*raises eyebrow* i dont think you should be with him if he's gonna think like that! the idea of a LDR is having that persons full commitment to you because eventually your gonna close the distance at some point, i dunno he seems like the type of guy who if he gets bored with a girl after awhile he'll dump her and go find someone else to fill his time, with that being said trust is a big part of an LDR its the foundation of it if you dont have that especially in any relationship then there is no relationship, it would be hard to trust someone if they told me that

He is not that type of guy, but my issue is, as you've said, that the idea of a LDR is having that persons full commitment to you because eventually your gonna close the distance at some point and I am NOT WILLING to waste my months or years with someone who actually doesn't see the future with me, or to be with him for years and wait for him to propose but he won't because he won't think that i am the one and then he will meet another girl and end up the relationship.

I am a fresher at uni, I met lots of new people and some of them showed interest in me, but I didn't even think about that because I am fully committed to my boyfriend and believe in our future, but if he doesn't, I don't want to miss my opportunity to meet someone who wants to be with me, especially when I know that there are guys like that. I just think it's selfish of him if he doesn't want to break up because he is happy NOW but knows that he won't be later.

[Caitlin2009]

it is very selfish of him, i mean me and Denise are working hard to end the distance soon and hell we've only been together for 2 years! Theres no way in hell i would wanna be with someone if they said something like that, especially in a LDR

[xopookie]

I think he just wants his cake and eat it too meaning he's using you as back up like he's dating other girls and probably flirting with them but yet using you as a security blanket. A man should not be saying those things at all! A real man would tell he loves you and shows that he can't live without you. Not oh well, you're just there for company. I think you should add fire to his butt and tell him " No it's not Burger King you can't have it your way it's either you love and want me or not!" I'm sorry love but he's trying to have you as a the main dish yet want his little side dishes or appetizers!! Be strong!

[xopookie]

You're a freshman at university! Ok just read that! In that case, I think you should be single because in college you meet a lot of people and you never know who's going to be your potential boyfriend. I think college is truly a great time to meet someone because in the real world outside of college it's hard because you don't get to see a large amount of people everyday and some of them might be in the same class as you! Have fun you're a freshman!

[Kika]

I think he just wants his cake and eat it too meaning he's using you as back up like he's dating other girls and probably flirting with them but yet using you as a security blanket. A man should not be saying those things at all! A real man would tell he loves you and shows that he can't live without you. Not oh well, you're just there for company. I think you should add fire to his butt and tell him " No it's not Burger King you can't have it your way it's either you love and want me or not!" I'm sorry love but he's trying to have you as a the main dish yet want his little side dishes or appetizers!! Be strong!

I am pretty sure he is not dating other girls, not sure about flirting but I don't mind him flirting. He tells me he loves me and also shows me he loves me. But I don't want to be his security blanket, I am sick of guys who don't want a real relationship, so I am determined to get an answer from him how he feels about us.

[Kika]

So we talked, I basically asked him straight away whether he counts with me in the future and his answer was positive, he ensured me he loves me etc and I trust him. I know he was honest with me and I feel much better after talking to him about that

[Silviar]

So we talked, I basically asked him straight away whether he counts with me in the future and his answer was positive, he ensured me he loves me etc and I trust him. I know he was honest with me and I feel much better after talking to him about that

Good. I'm glad it was resolved and in a good way to boot.

[Karringtyn]

So we talked, I basically asked him straight away whether he counts with me in the future and his answer was positive, he ensured me he loves me etc and I trust him. I know he was honest with me and I feel much better after talking to him about that

Very glad you guys were able to talk it out! Communication is key.