Afraid that its all too much for your SO?

[KiwiLove]

So ok, I caught myself in having thoughts about me and my SO about the future. The problem is, I have the feeling I think too far into the future!! I think about a whole life with my SO like in the cheesy movies on TV. I think its maybe not very supportive when I think too far ahead because if its not going to happen that we will get reunited then Im even more disappointed.


I have been sick since last wednesday and due to that Im even more sensitive than normal.
At times like this I send my SO messages which are very emotional, telling him how much and deeply I love him and that I never want to lose him.
At those times being even more sensitive about everything I get very worried he might doesnt feel exactly the same even if he replies very sweet and tells me I wont lose him!
Or I start to think I scare him with telling him so much about my feelings to him!

Do you also worry about things like that?
DO you have thoughts like this?

[Caitlin2009]

you are talking to the queen of worry lol and yeah i do worry about those things, in fact i worried about that last night and talked about it with her to which she said "i love you!!! dont you think if i was gonna run and wanted to end the relationship i would have done so a few years ago!!! I havent, i love you and thats never gonna change!!" sometimes you just have those little moments that you cant help when your over emotional and start to think like that. It happens just ignore it and it eventually will go away if not talk to your SO about it

[KiwiLove]

Thank you for the quick reply.
Now Im crying.. :-)
I hope I will feel stronger soon!!

[Caitlin2009]

awww *huggles* you'll be alright its just one of those days

[mundohh]

I also feel like that sometimes, and I think its normal. Everytime I worry too much, I just send him a sweet message without telling him about my thoughts. I know it would probably be better if I talk to my SO bout it, but I dont want to end up looking like an insecure lady. lol.

[Silviar]

I agree with Caitlin - honey, you worry too much. You've got to trust your SO - they're a big kid and can handle it. Most people who break up in LDR's aren't because of the distance - it's other factors that make them unsuitable as a couple. don't hold yourself up to a hollywood standard - they're flimsy and aren't going to give the depth and insanity, and the amazing strength a real relationship produces.

It's ok if he feels differently than you about things, as long as you can generally agree on life's policies. It's normal!

Stop worrying, hun, and go have FUN!

[Rugger]

I always worry about that OP. My boy was very very shy when I met him, I had to physically put my number in his phone AND ask him out in order for us to date. I'm the person he's been with the longest. But I'm terrified that now that he's got all this built-up confidence, he's gonna leave me for someone hotter, someone more cheerleader-esque. I worry that the strain of LDr will be too much for him

I do worry that he's not as into it as me as well. He knows that I love him,but not how much because i think that will push him away

Td:lr

I worry alot

[tiffany1013]

I was feeling exactly the same not long ago, I don't want to seem all emotional so I probably wouldn't tell him.
How much I wish he's right next to me, or I can talk to him for as long as I wish ....

[Zephii]

I have two sets of thoughts on this.

The first: When I surprise visited Obi in June the year before last his first reaction was anger. I was only there 20 days and he knew what the ticket was worth, and that I'd scarped the money together... basically he felt it was a waste. We talked it out, and during that conversation he told me "sometimes I wish you loved me a little less". Yes, that hurt a bit, but we're always honest to each other. From that I learnt that I was putting a bit too much pressure on the boy and that he wasn't quite as ready as I was. We still had a really good time together, and we didn't regret the visit in the long run, but I did learn that guys (or mine anyway) worry about things that I wouldn't. Such as the financial strain of me just showing up, the strain on what being distracted might do to his schooling. etc.

My second lot of thoughts on the matter are: I've learnt a lot since he proposed to me. For a long time I assumed that being the woman I felt more strongly about us than he did, and that I loved him more than he could love me. (I'm not really very loveable so that isn't hard to believe.) His asking me to marry him opened up a lot of talks and silent communication, and we found out we'd both been holding back a bit. I'd been holding back because I didn't want to smother him or scare him away, only to find that he loves this more attentive and sappy me. He likes the extra attention, the romance, being told I love him and want him with me forever. I didn't think guys were into that mush, but some of them really are. So, I was worrying over nothing.

The moral of these two thought lines is that it depends where you are in the relationship, and that you can't just guess the way someone else feels, no matter how well you know them. But yes, I have and sometimes still can have thoughts/feelings like that, and sometimes they are not unfounded.

[sabby64]

I get that way sometimes because of the fact that Brandon doesn't know how to have a relationship and I was in one for years before him, so there's things that I got used to that he doesn't know how to do or that I'd like him to do. I know it's kind of selfish to still expect these things, and sometimes I don't even know if he really loves me because he doesn't really know how to show it in ways I'm used to, but a quick phone call always fixes that. Fortunately it's not happening as much anymore.