How do you fall in love again?

[sabby64]

Last night Brandon texted me after a big fight we had, saying how all he wants is to feel madly in love with me all the time again. We've almost been going out for 6 months now and I guess we just got past the whole honeymoon stage and now things have settled down and mellowed out, and it's taking a toll on both of us.

My question is, how do you fall in love with your SO again, what things can you do long distance that bring you closer together and make you feel the passion there was when it all started, how do you keep the romance once the novelty has gone away? What does everyone here do to keep things new and exciting?

[Zephii]

Well, I find I enjoy loving Obi the most when life is good and we're having fun. At least, he doesn't have to put in as much effort at those times. The giddy kind of love feelings come stronger when everything else is good. So I'd suggest finding ways to be the fun girlfriend again.
for me personally, sexual intimacy helps too. If our sex life (cam or in person, doesn't matter) is good, that spills over into the other areas of our lives.

I don't know what to suggest to make it new and exciting, because I don't know what yous have already done/have tried/ are doing.

[Mizpah]

Falling in love is easy. Falling love over and over, now that's the trick. Aaron and I hit a lull when we were living together, but the cycle came around again, and I think that was largely due to the fact that we put the others' happiness as our main priority and are hopeless romantics. We did a lot of things, but I will only suggest the ones that would work LD: write poems to each other, send each other thoughtful or handmade gifts, do projects together (you can mail or email them back and forth), send a surprise love letter, try new things, teach each other about things you each love (Aaron taught me about cars and the piano). The options are really endless and Michelle has an awesome list. Just start acting all lovey-dovey and you'll find yourself falling all over again. ALSO, get Gary Chapman's book "The Five Love Languages" if for nothing else, the quiz. It will help you both find how to express love in the way your partner needs, which could be different now than when you first fell in love.

[prinzeza87]

i so understand you on this. sometimes that kinda thought crosses my mind. wat we do, is first try not to talk about the relationship fading because by doing that is more likely to happen. and we all have to understand (at least we do) that having all that exiting passion wont last 4ever. we all change, with time relationships does too. i think that the key to staying together is to adapt to each other whatever the situation is with love and patience, of course if both still want and do their part. what you can do now is planning visits or sending gifts to surprise him without him expecting it, i dnt knw theres tons of things yall can do to bring up ur relationship... good luck

[Yorkshire Girl]

I dont really know what kind of advise to offer you here, as this has never happened between me and my SO. When we are CD everything is fine, we hardly ever argue, disagree of course, thats natural. When we are LD we don't argue because it is way too hard to put things right. Instead we save those for when we are together to discuss proprtly. Because it is way too easy on the phone to hang up or reject the call. But we never really get annoyed at each other because after nearly 5 years we know how to keep each other happy.

I would suggest if this happened to give each other time. Let things be fun again. Take things a little more light hearted. I know the distance can make small things seem massive things. But take a step back and look at what you have. Look at your routine, maybe this needs altering. He fell in love with you in the first place, think of what kind of person you was like then, how you approached things.

And then you will look back in a few years time when you are sitting next to each other on the sofa in the living room, watching TV, with your slippers on hee hee, that this was worth while :-)

[bluepotato1236]

My fiance always tell me..when things DONT go our way..never forget why we fell in love with each other in the first place..so when we have some disagreement we will try to think how and why we fell in love in the first place...that works for us, coz it will reminds us all the memories and we start falling to each other again...

[paulawriteslove]

My advice to you is to keep the relationship fun, surprising, and alive. Send him cute things out of the blue that will put a smile on his face. When me and my boyfriend fell out of our honeymoon stage, we started to learn more and more about each other. We really started to learn more about one another. Just go with the flow and keep the relationship positive

[Casey]

hmmm well to start off with, it is completely natural. Adam and I go through these "lulls" all the time. We definately fight more in a CDR simply because we are living together etc.
In a LDR, I like sending him random things. Like I might go shopping with girlfriends and see a shirt for him, so ill buy it and send it to him. I might be bored at work so I'll send him an email. I may go to the candy store and pick up some reeces pieces... etc. just little things to let him know he's always on my mind. sending mix tapes, digital photo key rings, a mug with our puppy's pawprints on it.

[uniquefem]

I think the best way is to keep it fun! i always try to find a way to made him surprise.. present or small things, like sending him a letter every 2 weeks... my "personal signature" is a pink envelope.

Hehe hes not really fan of it... but he read it! thats the most sweet thing that he could do! hehe (he asks why not mail me instead?). I just think that there is something more.... romantic about writing a letter and post it....

Made him checking his mail box if theres any "pink envelope" from indonesia!

[TknandLvnIt]

I don't think you ever have to fall out of the honeymoon phase...that is something that My SO and I are were concerned about how to keep the other from getting bored or interested in other people and we found that as long as we put each others happiness first and wanted the relationship that we would stay in the honeymoon phase. That doesn't mean that you don't argue but it does mean that you are continually learning growing and loving new parts about each other...We have gone from making up silly stories about our stuffed animal kids to talking about whether we would spank our own and I think the most important thing is to keep discovering new things about each other....Sometimes I feel like I'm trying too hard to force a convo I love talking to my SO but sometimes i just don't have much to say and neither does he Lol. So the other day we tried telling each other things we knew about each other instead of about ourselves and then things that we had never talked about so random facts like our favorite mole or other little goofy but personal things like that.
I also thinking falling in love vs. growing in love are very different we talked for a year and admitted to loving each other at the end of that. I guess my fear with falling in love is that I can always fall out of it...so don't focus on why you fell for him but rather why your love for him grew and continues to grow. Good luck with everything...we are about to hit our 6 month too and that's a huge thing especially LD