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really need advice please help

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    really need advice please help

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    #2
    If you trust her then who cares about her friends? If you trust her completely then you have to trust that she is strong enough to be her own person and make her own decisions regardless of what her friends are doing.

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      #3
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        #4
        I agree with mllebamako. Unless you've seen clear signs of her friends dictating her actions or coercing her into things then you have to trust she knows when to say no to their ideas and what's the line. What is it exactly you're not comfortable with, the drinking or the unseen possibility that her friends could lead her to cheat in some form? Because from what little you've given it just sounds like you're overprotective and don't like her friends for some unknown reason.

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          #5
          Originally posted by allen11.11 View Post
          i do completely trust her that not the problem at all see when we first got together she would like to get drunk and make out with random dudes and chicks thats why wanna why she had to get that drunk to get a hotel room in the first place it immature and stupid
          Going off my initial post here. Has she stopped doing that at all to your knowledge? Maybe you could talk to the friend or one of her friends who will be there (surely one has to be the DD) and ask to keep an eye on her.

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            #6
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              #7
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                #8
                Well, unfortunately you can't choose her friends for her or make her get rid of them if she doesn't want to. The best you can do you've already done and I think the rest has to be left to trust, which is a hard thing to do when you know what she can be capable of and what her friends MIGHT be capable of. A lot of people at that age do the drinking and partying scene and it's easy to worry about what'll happen.

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                  #9
                  If you trust her, then trust her to say no to her friends. Especially since you have a friend keeping an eye on her.

                  However, if she hangs out with friends that continually engage in bad behaviors, keep in mind this is what you're going to have to live with for the duration of your relationship, unless she grows out of it. You need to learn to start accepting and handling it NOW if you want to be with her.


                  LFAD Book Challenge: 34/100 Complete

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                    #10
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                      #11
                      Hey, you're not weird. I can quote you some research (wow, how exciting, huh?) that LDR partners who don't know the friends their partner has in their location are uncomfortable with all of that until they get to meet them. So, you're normal, just adjusting to a new separation situation. Even though you've been together 2 yrs & 2 mos, the dynamics this time are different, so it's uncomfortable for you.
                      17 years LDR out of 18 years of marriage. Oh, yeah, plus a year of LDR courtship.

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