Its officially over.

[FadedSunrise]

The email and the alert text message have both been sent. I may be singing a different tune in a few years, but I cannot see right now how it is that we can ever work out together. So I've decided to let him go, as soon as possible, before we fall anymore for each other and its even harder to break up.

Its hard enough already. I've cried for 4 days straight. Going to try to stop soon because it makes me look really really crazy, but I won't deny that I've debated this, cried for 4 days straight, and in the end still let him go. Better now than later.

A couple cannot be together without love, but a couple cannot be blind to reality either. This has no realistic chance of working. I can't but acknowledge now that it's entirely possible I love him. If its like that, I choose to love by letting go.

[snow_girl]

I'm sorry. I think you did the right thing though, its always hard letting someone go that you care about but I think you did it for the right reasons. There is no point in fooling you and him into thinking that things might work out when the chances are not on your side.

[Silviar]

I wish you all the best of luck.

[Butterfly]

(((Sending you hugs))))

You know what is best for you and your situation. I can only wish both of you the very best of luck.

[FadedSunrise]

I just really really regret that I did not think this over(so immature of me) before agreeing to him, and just not agreed in the first place. That would have been better. I feel really really bad for doing this to him, for hurting him. The thought of him reading my message, hurt, is hurting me.

[FadedSunrise]

Add: the poor heartbroken SO has replied. Even in this he takes it so well, continuing to prove to me that he is amazing. He said that he will respect my decision, because he cares about me a lot. That he doesn't hold it against me, that he has seen many girls in his experiences, but through them is still sure that I am the best, that I am the one. That we are going to take this time off, but that, if the situation, if REALITY improves in the future, would I still want to try this with him? That of course, we're still going to be great friends. Why. is he. so amazing.

I am not going to go about regretting my decision-because this went really smoothly, and I still have my friend and big brother. Maybe it'll take this breakup, time apart, time in which I go out into the world and meet other guys for me to realize that he, in the end, also is the one. He's already had these experiences, I guess that's why he was a lot more certain in his decision about wanting a future with me. This is my first relationship, but also first close male friendship. I guess it's also natural why I ended the romantic relationship.

I just hope that if it is meant to be that I realize he is the one, I don't come to this decision too late.

[Stina83]

I wish you the best of luck too. Can I ask what you guys' situation is/was? Like were you an international couple, and how long were you together? I'm sorry, just being nosy..

[FadedSunrise]

International. Beijing to Los Angeles. I have plans to go to law school at most a year after my graduation, and thus was going to go nowhere for at least 4+ more years, until I came out, passed the bar and started working. Even then I would stay in America. He is 25, already working, but in no where near the level of job to have money to come here. And also no solution in sight.

He says he felt it the past couple of days when I was agonizing and in a bad mood about breaking up. I think I feel it today-that my heart hurts because his does...

[Niecey]

My heart goes out to you both. Best wishes.....

[theitchinc]

i'm so glad that the whole thing went well, and the plan you planned out is smart.
i guess all we can both do is continue with our lives as per normal though it hurts to think about it once in a while.
We might perhaps one day still feel that this guy may be the guy we wanna live with forever.
Totally understand where you're coming from since we're both having our first boyfriends.

Best wishes!

[Stina83]

Yeah that's definitely a tough situation My heart goes out to you.

[Rach]

Who knows what the future holds, Follow your dreams and if he's still there... and you still want him, then try again.

[DropkickDisco]

I'm both happy that you did what you felt was right in your heart, and sad that by doing so it is bringing you so much hurt
we are ALL here for you if you need us. I hope everything goes okay and you find the strength within to move on and be happy. you deserve it! <3