some have it so good...

[ber6810]

So lastnight before bed i decided to hop onto facebook... Nothing unusual, the typical complaints, and goodnights, came across one of my bestfriends posts who is also in a LD relationship with her SO in iraq right now.. the post said " goodnight world, goodmorning other half" I talk to her often because she can comprehend alot, but their schedule is crazy as she's waking up he's going to sleep, etc.. you get it..

I sat and thought... damn i have it lucky, yea im in a LDR, but atleast we are on the same time zone, have the opportunities to see eachother, and talk daily.. And im pretty sure he is alot safer then her So...

So as i continued to scroll down I came upon another post made by someone who I know through mutual friends... the post said " Why does he have to be so far away I just want to be in his arms right now" so i commented it and said yea i know how you feel... her reply was " ugh it sucks he's all the way in prov, and im here"
mind you she has a car and so does he... they are just both to lazy to drive to eachother.

can i just tell you guys that prov is 25 minutes from where we live...

i couldnt even build up enough thoughts to comment back without being angry...

all i had to say is.. " stfu you have no idea " i know its rude but seriously?????

I WISHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH i could be 20 minutes from Bryan... I WISH.

so with this being made...

i was curious
is there anything imparticular that you hear or see in others CD relationships that makes you jealous, or upsets you, or angers you... what i wrote about is what gets to me.. some have it so good....

[JoMarie]

In all relationships I hate that people take what they have for granted. I know what Kevin is. He is my SO, The father of our baby, and the reason we are LD is because he is also my hero. He is fighting for my freedom, and for everyone else's too. It's not just my SO, and no I don't think he's something special to everyone or that anyone owes us anything because he's in the Navy. Everyone has an SO that is special, and different. They help to make you who you are and should be worth fighting for. I hate to hear people be embarrassed about their SO. Mine is a video game junkie nerd, but I love him and he is MY nerd!

[NaNi]

My best female friend keeps updating her Facebook with stuff like: "With my boyfriend!"... "With my boyfriend again!"... "Spending the whole weekend with my boyfriend!" and it gets annoying. Especially since she knows that I cannot see my SO for months. It hurts. I try to ignore it though. Somehow.

To what you said... my SO is 12 hours ahead of me. I wish we could be in the same time zone, too. I get up; she gets ready for bed. It really does get in the way.

I also get a jealous when people post how often they can talk to their SO. My SO has limited broadband so we cannot talk every day and webcam used to be only once a month.

[Zephii]

I get annoyed in general with people being jealous and looking at what others have instead of what they themselves are blessed with. I also get annoyed when people think the challenges of long distance stop once the distance is closed, because they don't, at least not for everyone.

[Karringtyn]

I have to say this...and it may piss off people...but if I don't say it..then I am not being ME.


Everyone struggles. Whether it is CD or LDR. I have been told countless times on here that I have it "easy" because I don't have to deal with immigration, time zones...etc.

Guess what? I don't have it easy.

I have three children, he has four. We have full time jobs/careers. We are both homeowners.

We can't just MOVE.

We can't just hop in the car and travel. It may as well be 20 hours. A trip to him is 125 bucks. My gas and electric this month alone was 500. Do I heat my house or go see him? Do I put food on the table or go visit him for 2 days because I have to be back for the kids to be in school on Monday?

We each have our battles. We each have our issues.

I fell in love with a man that has blessed my world beautifully. I take the good with the bad. The other day I had an instance at work where someone said to me..."Oh Luce I know EXACTLY how you feel...I haven't seen my boyfriend in 4 days..." I replied "No you have NO idea"..then I thought about it....

I choose this. I choose to continue to have this relationship because this is what I have always dreamed of. I would rather live LDR for the time being, struggling with my emotions...for the feeling in my heart that I have. I have my forever love.

This goes to everyone....

Noone should have to stifle their feelings...whether it is about getting to see their SO...getting to talk to them every day...CD OR LDR.

I ask this of you...

Are you happy that you are with your SO?
Is being with your SO exactly what you want?

The situation that you may be in is tough...I don't disagree...but the feeling in your heart HAS to outweigh it all....

So you can say...

It is worth it.

If you can't say that...then I suggest you truly look inward.

[Moon]

I don't get jealous or angry, after all I chose my situation, or it chose me, not sure which. My relationship is worth it to me though, like Luce said, and I realize that people who are CD really don't get it at all. I do a lot of eye rolling though, so much so I'm afraid my eyes are gonna get stuck looking upward I can't let people who don't get it upset me, they might have it a bit easier and they might take what they've got for granted, but I've found someone amazing enough to make the distance worth it. You can't control anyone but yourself.

[BabyGund]

I think the purpose of this forum is to be able to come and share the good and the bad, the highs and the lows, the easys and the struggles.

One thing about forums - take the advice you can use or that applies; disregard the rest.

[mllebamako]

I completely agree with Zephii and Karringtyn.

Find what is amazing in your OWN relationship and stick with that. We all have our battles. I don't see why people insist on comparing themselves to other relationships. This is comparing apples to oranges. You cannot know what it truly happening in their relationship. Just because seem nice on the outside or their situation seems "better", does not mean it is.

Being a non-LDR doesn't make your relationship perfect or magical. And it doesn't mean you don't miss your SO when he's gone, even if he's only gone for the day.

I have said it before on LFAD and I'll say it again: people always think the grass is greener on the other side...but every couple has their own set of challenges to overcome. I remind myself to worry about my own grass and make sure I water it and plant some pretty flowers

[ber6810]

Are you happy that you are with your SO?
Is being with your SO exactly what you want?

The situation that you may be in is tough...I don't disagree...but the feeling in your heart HAS to outweigh it all....

So you can say...

It is worth it.

If you can't say that...then I suggest you truly look inward.

i know what your saying... and obviously my heart outweighs it all.. there is nothing that means more to me then him.. and yes every relationship has its problems.. i just wish people would take a walk in my shoes for once.. ( even though this is the life i chose )

you can't control your feelings. anger or jealously or happiness.. its NOT my fault that i get that way when i see stuff like that...

[ber6810]

I think the purpose of this forum is to be able to come and share the good and the bad, the highs and the lows, the easys and the struggles.

One thing about forums - take the advice you can use or that applies; disregard the rest.

thankkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk you for this.

i feel like people think i am nagging or being spitefull.. and maybe a little. but i thought this is what this was for? hmmm :/

[Tabitha]

It annoys me when I see friends post on facebook or talk about how much they miss their SO's when they're only at work for a few hours. I'm sure once we close the distance in the spring, I'll miss him and he'll miss me after only a few hours apart though. I guess it could be said that I have it easy compared to a lot of LDR's since we see each fairly often... one of us makes the 500 mile trip for two or three weeks every month or so. All relationships, close or long distance, can be hard. I just remind myself of how lucky I am to have found my other half, and how perfect things are when we're together.

[AllieBaba]

I have to say this...and it may piss off people...but if I don't say it..then I am not being ME.


Everyone struggles. Whether it is CD or LDR. I have been told countless times on here that I have it "easy" because I don't have to deal with immigration, time zones...etc.

Guess what? I don't have it easy.

I have three children, he has four. We have full time jobs/careers. We are both homeowners.

We can't just MOVE.

We can't just hop in the car and travel. It may as well be 20 hours. A trip to him is 125 bucks. My gas and electric this month alone was 500. Do I heat my house or go see him? Do I put food on the table or go visit him for 2 days because I have to be back for the kids to be in school on Monday?

We each have our battles. We each have our issues.

I don't know why but this post really really touched me. It is hard the way it is for my SO and I, I can only imagine how it would be with three kids to take care of (and all the responsibilities that come with it). I'm really happy that after all you're able to balance everything and hopefully one day, you'll be able to move in together, you definitely deserve it!!!!!



One of the things that gets me a bit sad, I wouldn't probably call it jealousy (ok maybe a little) is just seeing my friends with their boyfriends/girlfriends. Being able to just be with them whenever they feel like it....

I know that in the long run, what I'm doing will be worth it, because there is no one else I want to share my life with. Every time I feel like I can't do this anymore because of the distance and how hard it is, I think about how much I love him and how much he means to me and that alone gives me the strength to keep going.

[Micah]

I don't think there's anything wrong with being envious of what others have. I am perfectly content and fulfilled with my relationship, but there are moments where I will see a couple holding hands in public, or something similar, and I think in my mind, "I wish that was me and my man." I think that's more of a feeling of missing my boyfriend than anything else, but I do have moments of envy. I think we all do at some level and in my opinion it's only human sometimes to have those moments.

I do get annoyed with people that take their relationships for granted, but that would be in any sort of relationship - LDR or CD. I think a lot of people need to learn to appreciate and cherish what they have and love the one they're with.

[Karringtyn]

thankkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk you for this.

i feel like people think i am nagging or being spitefull.. and maybe a little. but i thought this is what this was for? hmmm :/

I can only speak for me...but if you took that away from my reply, then I guess you didn't read what I wrote.

When someone posts something I will reply if it's something I can give back or something that strikes something within me.

I felt what I had to share was that I DO understand, but while I do understand...hurting and being jealous served me NO purpose and made me MORE miserable. So I have learned to focus on what I have, and really try to realize that each of us have issues and concerns...that was all I was saying.

[sabby64]

What bothers me was my best friend went LD with her summer boyfriend the same week I went LD with Brandon. I worked my a$$ off to make this work with letters, phone calls, finding things to do, and everything's pretty good with us. She started going on dates, hanging out with other boys, cancelled her boyfriends visit he had been planning for months, and hasn't even talked to him since November. And the sad thing is that that was his first girlfriend. It ticks me off to see people taking what they have for granted, and even more so when they don't even have the decency to at least break it off instead of dragging it out because 'they don't know what they want'... ARGH!!! FRUSTRATING!!!

And this is Brandon's best friend she's doing this to. I really hope that he's not still waiting around for her. No offense to my best friend, but he could do aLOT better.