Guy from India - Girl From America

[amit2k11]

Well folks,

Active insights and replies by all is certainly making my wiser over the relationship quotient.

Now I have this question which can be slightly provocative.So I want to put this in a very lucid manner for better understanding of self and the whole community.

I recently had a major setback in my LDR and it seems the cultural values have placed a big our factor in understandings of each other.

I have been to west for official purposes and have never really stayed there for a long period to understand the intricacies of the ways of handling relationships there. Now me being from India and considering that I belong to a respectable and educated family I now wonder what are the values or intricacies which a guy from India should know if he has to date a woman from West especially an American girl. I am mainly considering the cultural differences and the values imbibed here.

My question has some basis of self realization and experiences. I see woman from West to be Emotionally Independent and hence those factors which play a major role in considering a good relationship in India seems nullified when its the case with a person from America for that matter.

Moreover, from long term perspective of a relationship what are the finer points to be kept under consideration when one is dating a girl from West.Considering the factors such as the girl has a career,an ambition and her priority for having a family and children is somewhere in the middle.

Thank you beforehand for the replies.

Regards
Amit

[Stina83]

Well, I'll agree with you that women from the West are very independent people. Women being equal to men is a truth here and something that needs to be respected, no question about it. Now, I don't honestly know much about India and the values in India, so that might be the same there as in the West, I don't know?
Either way, I think the main things to be considered regarding cultural differences would be respecting your SO, giving her space to be her own person, have her own career and make her own choices in life, because you're in an equal relationship.

I wish you and your SO the best of luck

[amit2k11]

Well, I'll agree with you that women from the West are very independent people. Women being equal to men is a truth here and something that needs to be respected, no question about it. Now, I don't honestly know much about India and the values in India, so that might be the same there as in the West, I don't know?
Either way, I think the main things to be considered regarding cultural differences would be respecting your SO, giving her space to be her own person, have her own career and make her own choices in life, because you're in an equal relationship.

I wish you and your SO the best of luck

Well I have witnessed in my relationship with the American girl that people in West respect the individuality more then the partners family and else. More so in India we do not elaborately follow the thing that we are dating, then we will be in a live in relation and if we find things are good then we will marry.Such things are very much looked down upon here in India.

The individuality that you have mentioned here in your post we Indian guys do respect and its equality in that.But unlike West in India we have to take care of the family also the Old parents and offcourse the Children and their future.

So things like these I am talking about. The things which a normal couple in West will think about when they are entering into a relationship versus the things an Indian couple will think about.That culture quotient I am wanting to know.

[Silviar]

I think that using general cultural platitudes is a dicey way of thinking in a relationship. Stereotypes of all nationalities exist, and what you see or hear doesn't mean your SO/every person from that culture is like that. Culture is derived more from a person's family and background than their nation. I would encourage you to get to know her family and see the things they value in order to understand how she values the things that she does.

For example, my writing career works happily with me because it coincides with my desire to be a stay at home wife and mom. Will I always make some of my own money? Yes, I will. But my family is more important than money.

I think it's very hard to box American culture because we really do have so many different platforms people spring from. Not all women are ambitious and career driven. Not all want a family. I wish I could help, truly, but I think you'd be better off focusing these questions to your SO.

[mllebamako]

I agree with Silviar that it's hard to generalize all people from one culture. Of course, many women in the West are career-driven. But not everyone.
For me...it is family-first. I would give up everything for family/love if I had to.

[Stina83]

Oh yeah, I agree with the others. didn't mean to say that all Western women are career driven, but basically the opportunity of making your own choices as a woman, including having a career, is an essential quality for us. We are as free as men to do what we want (yes, I'm a bit feministic here, lol).
Either way, you do have to talk to your SO about this, bc everyone is different, and her needs will be unique to her..